Merton’s Prayer

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desire to please, road ahead, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Merton, Thoughts In Solitude, trust in God

This prayer of Thomas Merton has been a staple for many people over the years. It has popped up several times now in my mail and as an advertisement for a Spirituality & Practice Workshop. I am tempted to sign up for the course as I am a fan of “all things Merton,” but perhaps this prayer is all I need. It certainly speaks to this moment of time in our world. Won’t you pray it with me today…and perhaps for each of the remaining days of this tumultuous year that we’re experiencing.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. (Thoughts in Solitude)

Rain, Rain, Go Away

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discouraged, distress, doubt, love, mercy, prayer, suffering, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Merton, Thoughts In Solitude, trust

It’s raining again. This week we have had a taste of the destruction that has been rare for us, caused by soaking rains and flash-flooding. It’s as if the earth cannot take any more pain. Having cried too long, her tears now overflow in a mud bath on the streets and structural damage to homes and other buildings near our two rivers and the many outlying creeks. Today the rain feels soft and my desire is to go outside and stand, then walk in it, to listen and accept what is happening, to be washed clean of all distress and the insidious doubt that can invade the soul at times like this.

I feel a nudge from Thomas Merton as I watch these thoughts appear on the page before me. His prayer will be mine today as I unite myself with all those suffering the effects of flooding and fire that seem endless in this summer season when even the most optimistic of us (among whom I count myself) can become discouraged.

Let my trust be in Your mercy, not in myself. Let my hope be in Your love, not in health, or strength, or ability or human resources. If I trust You, everything will become, for me, strength, health, and support. Everything will bring me to heaven. If I do not trust You, everything will be my destruction. (Thoughts in Solitude, p.39)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Transient Sensitivity

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darkness, God, immensity, light, reality, sensitivity, Son, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Merton, Thoughts In Solitude, transient expression, transient sensitivity

The first time I came out of sleep this morning into a still-dark world where ice crystals were bouncing off my window panes I was reminded of my dentist appointment three days ago. When he greeted me and asked me how I was upon entering the room, I just answered “transient sensitivity.” The hygienist who had just cleaned my teeth (read: picked and prodded) looked quizzical but the doc nodded and said, “Ahh, your sinuses…”

When I moved 45 years ago to this lovely valley located in the Southern Tier of New York State, I was told that it is known for the propensity of sinus conditions and I was warned that it would take about five years for me to join the ranks of those so “blessed.” I came to understand the condition but have only experienced it as mild discomfort when inclement weather is the order of the day. Lately, however, I know when storms are coming because my teeth begin to ache. Thinking I had a cavity recently, or more likely an exposed nerve in one of my teeth, I had an interesting visit to the dentist where he did everything he could to locate the difficulty, finally concluding that it was the above-mentioned transient sensitivity. In other words, my aging sinuses were talking to the aging nerves close by and predicting stormy weather.

That’s the long introduction to my thoughts this morning about my state of being. While it is true that my teeth are reminding me of what I see and hear outside my window, I was comparing the term to how I was feeling inside when I turned to Thomas Merton and read the following paragraph.

O great God, Father of all things, Whose infinite light is darkness to me, Whose immensity to me is as the void, You have called me forth out of Yourself because You love me in Yourself, and I am a transient expression of Your inexhaustible and eternal reality. I could not know You, I would be lost in this darkness, I would fall away from You into this void, if You did not hold me to Yourself in the Heart of Your only begotten Son. (Thoughts In Solitude, 71).

Call it synchronicity, call it a meaningless musing from a foggy mind, but for me this word from Merton will take me through the day in gratitude.