In case anyone is wondering about my progress of yesterday, I thought it only fair to report. Since I had made a list of tasks that would “choke a horse,” I need also to explain that my process is to write down every possible thing that I ought to do so that I won’t forget anything – and that I never can check off everything in one day. My list this time had 18 items on it – some more labor-intensive than others. I succeeded in attending to 5 of them. (No laughing please!) I had neglected to add meditation time, blogging time and meal time at home as well as just sitting for a bit watching TV together. And then there was a short space of time for reading, answering the phone and checking messages (no more of that than necessary!). We also have a retreatant here who always comes for the first week of the year and with whom I am privileged to “check in” at least once or twice during her stay. Yesterday that took what I thought would be my last two waking hours. But then we weren’t expecting the skunk who got stuck in our basement at 10:10PM…
What I realized once again this morning is that life goes on as it should, offering the expected and the unexpected and it is our duty to cooperate as we are able, offering our efforts in gratitude for being alive.
Today is one of those days that does not have a schedule. Don’t think I mean there is nothing to accomplish! Rather, there are no appointments in my calendar and no set time to do anything except respond to what steps up and asks to be next in line for completion. I know there is a trip to the bank and the grocery store to be accomplished and some more work on the workshop soon to come. There are phone calls and e-mails and laundry…You see how the day is likely to go. This is the perfect set-up, however, for the spiritual practice of living in the moment and letting go in response to what is asked of me. I have no way of achieving every task that is floating on my virtual list so my first task is making a determination to expect nothing except to be in the flow of the day. Proceeding from that center, I know that at bedtime God and I will be pleased with the result.
In the “good old days” when I was young and eager – especially in the novitiate, but also in the convent at my first teaching assignment where I lived in a group of 21 Sisters – life was very structured and predictable. The “horarium” (schedule) of the days was built around times of prayer, teaching school, meals and community sharing time – known in the novitiate at least as “recreation,” a.k.a. the hour after supper when we relaxed and talked to one another while knitting or listening to music or some such simple activity before preparing schoolwork for the next day. Saturdays were set aside for cleaning and other charges (read: household tasks) or meetings and the occasional planning time for community celebration days.
It doesn’t pay to oversleep by two hours after normal rising time. This morning upon deciding that 5:15 was too early to abandon my bed, I went back to sleep for what seemed just a few minutes. My phone display, however, disagreed by showing 8:05! That spells disaster on a day when I planned to cook breakfast for an overnight guest who was due at a meeting at 9:00. I guess it was obvious when I arrived in the kitchen five minutes later that I had just awakened; the smiles that greeted me witnessed to my groggy state. But I managed scrambled eggs and some welcome conversation. When Cathy left, however, I quickly got into “zoom” mode and practically fell over myself trying to do four absolutely-necessary-this-morning tasks at the same time. Suddenly I realized that no one was observing me with a stopwatch – the pressure was all mine! – and I began to breathe a little more consciously. I have now accomplished at least three of those necessary tasks and it’s only 12:53PM! Not so bad…and I am calmly approaching the rest of the day.
Yesterday I was home all day attempting to achieve some order in my bedroom, my calendar, my state of being. It’s always like this at some point as our fiscal year draws to a close (today!) and this time I was a little late to the task. I wrote checks to pay doctors who have kept me on a healthy path for another year, I shredded no longer useful papers and moved some to my file cabinet, responded to and deleted e-mails and did the accounting necessary to reconcile my part of our house expense budget. By 6:00, with some sense of accomplishment, I went downstairs to join again the world of conversation, having had enough of “business” for the day and feeling a need for some balance for my brain. I took up my knitting and Liz put down her book to talk with me so order was finally, fully restored.