Waiting…Again!

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change, sadness, surrender, tension, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, waiting

“Blessed are all who wait for the Lord!” (Psalm refrain for today’s liturgy)

Recently I echoed in this blog the question of one of our Sisters who asked repeatedly: What are we waiting for? I was surprised when I put that question to myself just now and was greeted by several responses. The big things like: I’m waiting for the pandemic to cease, for a vaccine that stems the tide of deaths, for an end to racial violence in our country. I’m waiting as well for January 20th, Inauguration Day in our country when a sense of stability might return to us…slowly but surely. In a more personal way, I’m waiting for someone to hug me—safely. I’m waiting to go to a celebratory liturgy in a real—not virtual—church, and the privilege of travel to meet my cousin Molly’s new twin girls, born this past week.

I could go on…but each of us has our thoughts on that subject. The tension, sadness or frustration that can arise when contemplating this kind of thinking comes partially, I think, from the helplessness we feel because of our inability to change the situations. We are unable to change any of the things mentioned and many more. In our country, as in many places in today’s world, we are not schooled to patience. It is not in our make-up any more to wait because waiting implies surrender and that is not the American way.

What would it cost you today to surrender to “what is” and allow God to work with your helplessness? Might you get to a place of willingness? A place where you let go of your plans and move toward something deeper? lighter?

A Time Like No Other

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assess, coronavirus, Jesus, love, patience, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

It is not lost on me that we are in a situation – a world crisis – the like of which has never presented itself in the entirety of my life. At the same moment I recognize that we are moving deeper into the season of Lent, a moment of opportunity to come to a more conscious understanding of the meaning of surrender.

I don’t want to talk about the coronavirus because facing it might call me to pay attention in a way that I am unaccustomed to functioning. I cannot, however, disregard all the warnings simply because I am a healthy person. While that is a true fact and I am aware of the great blessing of that reality, I cannot ignore the fact that I am approaching my seventy-second birthday and although I would like to ignore the implications of that in this situation, I do it at my peril. I need to pay attention to what I am eating and how much sleep I’m getting, etc. — if not for my own benefit, for the welfare of the three women with whom I live and for others with whom I interact.

In addition, I need to assess which of my activities I am willing to let go, rather than ignoring the risks because I am not likely to contract the disease. One might not see the connection between the spiritual and practical considerations in such a moment as this but to me it is quite clear.

Patience and love, willingness to surrender for the common good are the virtues needed now by each of us. “What am I willing to surrender?” I ask myself this morning. I would do well to look to the example of Jesus for the answer.

Holy Land

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Abram, Genesis, listening, Lot, Peace, separate, surrender, the Holy Land, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, willingness

Occasionally – not often but once in awhile – when I read the lectionary texts from the Bible I long for “the old days” – a simpler time. This morning’s reading from Genesis (GN 13:2, 5-18) has Abram and Lot in conversation about their many possessions and how the land can’t support both of them; their herdsmen were quarreling. So Abram simply says to Lot, “We’re kinsmen; we don’t want any strife between our herdsmen or ourselves. Let’s separate. If you want to go left, I’ll go right and vice versa.” So Lot went east and Abram stayed in Canaan – just like that.

Would that things could be settled today in like manner. But no, the strife in “the Holy Land” goes on and on with no peace on the horizon. How are we to interpret God’s promises in these complex times? Certainly not with contentious rhetoric or weapons. How can God break through to the hearts of all parties in a way that will bring peace to the Middle East? Only, it seems, by listening more deeply to the hearts of one another and allowing love for God and for the land to be the impetus for reconciliation. It will take great leaders and great willingness to surrender on the part of everyone in order to see the truth that all are one in God and that there is enough for everyone’s need. May it be true in our day. May peace come to reign once again, I pray.

Deeper Knowing

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inner change, Jesus, John, Mary Magdalene, mission, recognize, renewal, resurrection, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, unconditional love, universal love

During this Easter season the lectionary readings are worthy of some serious pondering. That’s no surprise, given the events of the past week recounted in Scripture. Today (JN 20:11-18) we read a good example in two ways of how the passage through death has changed not only Jesus himself but also his relationship with his beloved disciple.

First, on the day of Christ’s Resurrection, Mary Magdalene, the faithful and well-loved companion of Jesus, encounters him near the tomb and thinks he is the gardener! How could she not recognize him??? I’m always reminded with this story of the day I didn’t recognize a priest who used to come often and help me with high school retreats. He had been on a year’s sabbatical during which he had studied spirituality for a semester, done a 30-day Ignatian retreat, lost some weight, shaved the mustache without which I had never seen him, and in addition sported a new “buzz cut” on his head. As he processed down the church aisle at a celebration for one of our Sisters, I wondered who he was. It was not until he began to speak that I knew him. I heard his voice and was shocked immediately into recognition. And he was also different inside – a softer, more humble and gracious “self” that could be felt to those who really saw the result of his “renewal.”

Secondly today, when Mary moves toward Jesus because he speaks her name with a tenderness that only love can express, he stops her (“Do not cling to me…”) and gives her a missionary task (“Go to my brothers and tell them…”). Evidently Christ’s”resurrection body” is somehow different; his journey through death changed him in some significant way both physically and spiritually. Surrendering everything he was then ready to manifest his divinity to the one who loved him faithfully. The relationship was deeper than a physical connection.When Mary realized her new role of messenger/missionary to her companions and to the world, she understood that her surrender was just beginning. Living from the heart had become her mission.

We would do well to contemplate these passages, these calls to unconditional and universal love presented to us today. What inner change must accompany such a shift in our life?

Being There

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compassion, difficulty, Jesus, letting God be God, love God, prayer, resistance, suffering, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trials, unite

There has been a lot of bad news lately – some global, some personal involving people that I love. My typical response to all of it (as maybe for many of us) is to try to make things better. I am lately finding it difficult to trust my ability to do anything and so am shifting to what some people would call “letting God be God.” What that involves sometimes looks like passivity, and it does involve surrender to what is, but it seems more sensible than being against anything which involves resistance and pushing when there is a wall in the way.

What is left when one gives up trying to fix things, it seems to me, is compassion – a feeling with others. It involves presence – physically if possible and long distance if necessary – and mindfulness of the struggles of others. It certainly could lead to action if that seems the best course, but if we unite ourselves to others who are suffering without losing a deep conviction of hope that does not necessarily depend on outcome  I believe that we may find ourselves to be agents of consolation. Additionally, our own prayer may be helpful in adding light to the world.

I realize that all of this (if it makes sense at all) may elicit from some people a reaction of “easy for you to say.” I have been much blessed in my life and have not personally suffered extreme trials. When life has been difficult in some way I have been gifted with the strength of companions whose compassion truly has made a difference and helped me move on. I suppose that is the point of all these thoughts…so the conclusion may simply be for all of us to cultivate good relationships, being faithful to them and to a serious effort to develop compassion in the manner of Jesus who emptied himself of himself in love for the life of the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s Life!

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aging, capable, grace, life, Meg Wheatley, opportunities, partner, perseverance, relax, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust, wisdom

I’ve been engaged in a number of conversations lately where the topic has been the need to let go of what we can’t control – like the weather and the march of time (specifically our aging process). This morning I opened Meg Wheatley’s little book, Perseverance, to a page called “Life Is Life” and found there some words worth my time and reflection. Perhaps we can all benefit from her wisdom.

Instead of working so hard to actively construct our lives, we could relax with the opportunities that life provides, both the good and the bad ones. People who have this type of relationship with life truly are more relaxed. The seeming loss of control doesn’t create anxiety or feelings of distress. It does the reverse, it creates feelings of ease and clarity – and the capacity to stay.

Surrendering to life offers some wonderful realizations. We learn we’re capable of being in this dance, of working with whatever happens. We learn to trust ourselves and then others and, gradually, we learn that life itself can be trusted.

The grace of surrender offers us the awareness that life is on our side, that life is our partner. Whatever may be happening in our private worlds, inside the noise and disturbance, a lovely realization dawns. 

Life wants us here. (p. 117)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Can We Do?

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believe, faith, I am the way, John, life, perseverance, show, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, through, truth, work in us

Today’s gospel picks up yesterday’s conversation (JN 14), known as the “farewell discourse.” Moving on from the extraordinary verse where Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth and the life,” Jesus is speaking now about his unity with God. “If you know me, then you will know my Father,” he says. “From now on you do know him and have seen him.” It is an enthusiastic Philip, I think, who jumps in saying,  “Master, show us the Father and that will be enough for us!”

Poor Philip. We are still struggling to understand the depth of what Jesus was saying. Poor Jesus, whose frustration after all that he had tried to impart to these disciples was evident in his response. (“Have I been with you for so long a time and still you do not know me, Philip?”) The great thing about Jesus is that he never gives up on them. He tries again by talking about what they have seen: the works that Jesus reminds them are evidence that the Father functions in the world through him. Then he delivers another astounding line that could be overlooked if we are reading quickly or thinking that the words of this chapter only apply to first century followers of Jesus.

Here’s what he said. See if you can comprehend the meaning and then accept that it is possible for us. “Whoever believes in me will do the works that I do, and will do greater ones than these.” Stop here. Repeat that sentence aloud. How might it possibly be believed?

In this case, I believe possibility resides in surrender. We will only be successful if we recognize that we are not the doer and allow God to work in us in everything we do. My guess is that it takes a very long time to come to clarity on this point, after which our knowing needs to travel from our minds into our hearts in order for God to truly take over. This is the work of a lifetime and calls for extreme faith and great perseverance. The key to all of it, it seems, lies in our  trust – of God and of ourselves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Home Again

Tags

feelings, impressions, living grace, love, memories, prayer, psalm 119, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust, wisdom, words

It is interesting to me that today’s psalm response from the lectionary is part of 119 – the longest psalm of all in the Bible. Fitting, I thought, after a week away that held so many diverse moments, including childhood memories as well as experiences of new places and events. Commentary says that “each segment of Psalm 119 could be read as a separate voice from individuals praying out of their various perspectives” or “one individual experiencing all the various perspectives that one knows along the path of life.” I’m not sure I have integrated all the impressions, information and feelings of the week as it was so full and far-reaching. One thing I do know is that it provided an opportunity (as most events do if we are awake) for self-reflection and gratitude. Thus, I pray this morning with the psalmist as I return to my blessed “normal” life.

This is the truth of things, instruct me one more time in love. And all that I forgot or do not understand, make clear, and I shall concentrate again upon your work and way. Let all your words become for me a living grace, and let me choose again the way of trust in you, of deep surrender to your wisdom. (26-27, 29-30)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friendship

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Book of Hours, child, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander, disruption, faith, friend, friendships, gratitude, knowledge, light, praise, presence, school, spirit, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Merton

When I was teaching school, this used to be an important day for me as it still is for many folks. The Wednesday after Labor Day sees our young people returning to school after their long summer vacation. It isn’t the same everywhere in our country. In some places, school has been in session for weeks but in those places dismissal for the summer also happens earlier, primarily because of the heat, I think. Right now it seems that some young people will not return to their schools at all this year; the schools are no longer habitable because of Hurricane Harvey. What will become of them, I wonder, for many reasons. Some will likely be home-schooled. Some may be shuttled to other locations. That happened in my own town after a flood in 2011. A Catholic parish school that had been closed and used for other parish functions was given back its identity for two years while a new school was built. Will the youth of Texas be so lucky as to find schooling together with their familiars?

That kind of disruption must be difficult for students. The youngest children are probably more adaptable because they are still curious and open to all kinds of difference but I think of middle and high school students whose friendships have been forged in similarity and safety. Because of my father’s work, I moved to a different state just as my seventh grade school year was about to begin. Luckily I ended up in a small school with only about 40 students in each grade, otherwise I think I might have drowned in the sea of newness and difference.

Even the best of friendships are not easy to maintain. Different career paths, marriage and our mobile society among other factors can affect relationships that may have been long-standing. Recently, however, I met a 69 year old woman from a small town who was speaking of her 67 year friendship with her first playmate. That, to me, is miraculous. I find myself a little envious of such fidelity and steadfast care, for that is what they have. More often now friendships are hard work, and more difficult as we age, perhaps.

I smile as I write that because I read a rather ironic paragraph this morning from Thomas Merton’s Book of Hours, quoted from his text, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander. It couldn’t have been easy for him to be God’s friend, it seems, until he surrendered to the meaning of such a relationship. He’s speaking to God:

You ask of me nothing else than to be content that I am your Child and your Friend, simply to accept your friendship because it is your friendship. This friendship is Spirit. You have called me to be repeatedly born in the Spirit, repeatedly born in light, in knowledge, in unknowing, in faith, in awareness, in gratitude, in poverty, in presence and in praise.

This may be a day to examine my willingness to surrender to what friendship – both divine and human – calls out from me and to be grateful for those I call by that name.

 

 

 

 

 

Going the Distance

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anger, eclipse, follow, go the distance, gossip, Lazarus, let go, love, Martha, Mary, Matthew, perfect, sin, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I am sometimes awed at how much can be packed into a few verses of Scripture. What I mean is more likely where my mind and heart go after reading a short section, like today’s gospel about the rich young man who couldn’t quite “go the distance” in surrender. (MT 19:16-22)

Like most of us he claims having kept the commandments as they’re written and as Jesus enumerates them for him. No killing, no adultery, no stealing…easy enough, we might say. A closer examination might see us falling off that wagon though in the small things that lead to those greater sins. What about a burst of anger or joining in on a conversation about someone that might lead to stealing a bit of his or her reputation? And then there’s that last one: Love your neighbor as yourself. That one could be the subject of a very long retreat…

The last section of the text is very disturbing to many people. It’s the two sentences that would send many of us away sad like the rich young man. Jesus says to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” I stop after typing that because it is too difficult to interpret for anyone but myself. Okay, even for myself. I did have two thoughts for consideration though and they are connected.

1. I preached at my mother’s funeral about Mary and Martha because, as she moved deeper and deeper into dementia, I saw my mother let go of everything that seemed important to her in her younger day. In the end, she was like a bright light “sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to him” like Mary, the sister of Lazarus, in the gospel. I noted her transformation as a process of letting go that I saw begin at the age of 45 when she had to move away from everything she had known because of my father’s job change. As she tested the waters of this move, she found new friends and new activities that soon allowed her to let go, to dive in and live fully – loving well even into eternity. What I said about her divestment was that she did not necessarily give up all her possessions – but rather that she gave up the need of them as she lived the totality of her life for God.
2. In one of St. Paul’s letters he speaks of his willingness to live whether he is rich or poor, has enough or not, as long as he can “have Christ…”

I think the two are synonymous and instructive in this conversation I’m having with myself. I will think on these things as I drive home today and as I contemplate the darkness of the eclipse that will overshadow the light of afternoon…another symbol, perhaps, of letting go only to welcome the light again as it returns. Stay safe out there, everyone.