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Home Again

16 Monday Apr 2018

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feelings, impressions, living grace, love, memories, prayer, psalm 119, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust, wisdom, words

aprayergroupIt is interesting to me that today’s psalm response from the lectionary is part of 119 – the longest psalm of all in the Bible. Fitting, I thought, after a week away that held so many diverse moments, including childhood memories as well as experiences of new places and events. Commentary says that “each segment of Psalm 119 could be read as a separate voice from individuals praying out of their various perspectives” or “one individual experiencing all the various perspectives that one knows along the path of life.” I’m not sure I have integrated all the impressions, information and feelings of the week as it was so full and far-reaching. One thing I do know is that it provided an opportunity (as most events do if we are awake) for self-reflection and gratitude. Thus, I pray this morning with the psalmist as I return to my blessed “normal” life.

This is the truth of things, instruct me one more time in love. And all that I forgot or do not understand, make clear, and I shall concentrate again upon your work and way. Let all your words become for me a living grace, and let me choose again the way of trust in you, of deep surrender to your wisdom. (26-27, 29-30)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Friendship

06 Wednesday Sep 2017

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Book of Hours, child, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander, disruption, faith, friend, friendships, gratitude, knowledge, light, praise, presence, school, spirit, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Merton

aschoolbusWhen I was teaching school, this used to be an important day for me as it still is for many folks. The Wednesday after Labor Day sees our young people returning to school after their long summer vacation. It isn’t the same everywhere in our country. In some places, school has been in session for weeks but in those places dismissal for the summer also happens earlier, primarily because of the heat, I think. Right now it seems that some young people will not return to their schools at all this year; the schools are no longer habitable because of Hurricane Harvey. What will become of them, I wonder, for many reasons. Some will likely be home-schooled. Some may be shuttled to other locations. That happened in my own town after a flood in 2011. A Catholic parish school that had been closed and used for other parish functions was given back its identity for two years while a new school was built. Will the youth of Texas be so lucky as to find schooling together with their familiars?

That kind of disruption must be difficult for students. The youngest children are probably more adaptable because they are still curious and open to all kinds of difference but I think of middle and high school students whose friendships have been forged in similarity and safety. Because of my father’s work, I moved to a different state just as my seventh grade school year was about to begin. Luckily I ended up in a small school with only about 40 students in each grade, otherwise I think I might have drowned in the sea of newness and difference.

Even the best of friendships are not easy to maintain. Different career paths, marriage and our mobile society among other factors can affect relationships that may have been long-standing. Recently, however, I met a 69 year old woman from a small town who was speaking of her 67 year friendship with her first playmate. That, to me, is miraculous. I find myself a little envious of such fidelity and steadfast care, for that is what they have. More often now friendships are hard work, and more difficult as we age, perhaps.

I smile as I write that because I read a rather ironic paragraph this morning from Thomas Merton’s Book of Hours, quoted from his text, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander. It couldn’t have been easy for him to be God’s friend, it seems, until he surrendered to the meaning of such a relationship. He’s speaking to God:

You ask of me nothing else than to be content that I am your Child and your Friend, simply to accept your friendship because it is your friendship. This friendship is Spirit. You have called me to be repeatedly born in the Spirit, repeatedly born in light, in knowledge, in unknowing, in faith, in awareness, in gratitude, in poverty, in presence and in praise.

This may be a day to examine my willingness to surrender to what friendship – both divine and human – calls out from me and to be grateful for those I call by that name.

 

 

 

 

 

Going the Distance

21 Monday Aug 2017

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anger, eclipse, follow, go the distance, gossip, Lazarus, let go, love, Martha, Mary, Matthew, perfect, sin, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

aneclipseI am sometimes awed at how much can be packed into a few verses of Scripture. What I mean is more likely where my mind and heart go after reading a short section, like today’s gospel about the rich young man who couldn’t quite “go the distance” in surrender. (MT 19:16-22)

Like most of us he claims having kept the commandments as they’re written and as Jesus enumerates them for him. No killing, no adultery, no stealing…easy enough, we might say. A closer examination might see us falling off that wagon though in the small things that lead to those greater sins. What about a burst of anger or joining in on a conversation about someone that might lead to stealing a bit of his or her reputation? And then there’s that last one: Love your neighbor as yourself. That one could be the subject of a very long retreat…

The last section of the text is very disturbing to many people. It’s the two sentences that would send many of us away sad like the rich young man. Jesus says to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” I stop after typing that because it is too difficult to interpret for anyone but myself. Okay, even for myself. I did have two thoughts for consideration though and they are connected.

  1. I preached at my mother’s funeral about Mary and Martha because, as she moved deeper and deeper into dementia, I saw my mother let go of everything that seemed important to her in her younger day. In the end, she was like a bright light “sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to him” like Mary, the sister of Lazarus, in the gospel. I noted her transformation as a process of letting go that I saw begin at the age of 45 when she had to move away from everything she had known because of my father’s job change. As she tested the waters of this move, she found new friends and new activities that soon allowed her to let go, to dive in and live fully – loving well even into eternity. What I said about her divestment was that she did not necessarily give up all her possessions – but rather that she gave up the need of them as she lived the totality of her life for God.
  2. In one of St. Paul’s letters he speaks of his willingness to live whether he is rich or poor, has enough or not, as long as he can “have Christ…”

I think the two are synonymous and instructive in this conversation I’m having with myself. I will think on these things as I drive home today and as I contemplate the darkness of the eclipse that will overshadow the light of afternoon…another symbol, perhaps, of letting go only to welcome the light again as it returns. Stay safe out there, everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

Letting Go

23 Sunday Jul 2017

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A Deep Breath of Life, accept, Alan Cohen, change, desires, divine, free, greater good, letting go, pain, Peace, resistance, service, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

aresistIn our conversations this weekend about Mary Magdalene and Conscious Love, we have often spoken of the need to surrender to life, letting go of our “small-self” desires in service to the greater good. In our meditation sessions, we let go of any thoughts that arise in order to allow us to be present to the Divine. I found a resonance in Alan Cohen’s reflection for today in his book, A Deep Breath of Life, that seems appropriate to share as we depart from this very valuable group experience. Cohen writes:

True mastery lies in flowing with the events of life. We are empowered when we assume that everything comes from God and goes back to God. Nothing in form lasts forever, and when we can accept change, we are free. All pain is born of resistance. An attitude of non-resistance liberates tremendous energy. Pain arises when we fight against what is happening, and peace comes when we accept what is.

Cohen then proceeds to ask two questions: What in your life are you resisting? and How much peace could you gain by letting what is, be? Those seem worthy of some reflection as we begin a new week…

Yielding

17 Saturday Jun 2017

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centering prayer, Finding the On-Ramp to You Spiritual Life, Jan Phillips, journey, opportunities, resistance, spiritual path, spiritual practices, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, yield

ayiledsignIn looking ahead to possibilities for the autumn “semester” at the Sophia Center, I began re-reading Finding the On-Ramp to Your Spiritual Life, a little book by Jan Phillips. The impetus came from two different conversations – one with Jan and another with a member of my Spiritual Practices Circle who is considering reading the book with a group in her Church. It’s a catchy title and the idea of using traffic signs as chapter titles was, it seems to me, quite an inspired idea. It’s part of Jan’s genius, I think, to see deep meaning in the connections that exist everywhere and use everyday experiences to mine deep truth. Think about all you could say about “STOP” or “DIVIDED HIGHWAY” or even “FALLING ROCKS AHEAD.” (Actually, that’s not a bad idea. What would you say about each of those things vis-à-vis your life?)

Last night I read the chapter entitled YIELD, which is a familiar concept to someone who learns the daily letting go in the practice of centering prayer. Here’s how Jan began that reflection.

The word yield has a variety of meanings. On the road, it means to surrender, to give way. In nature, it means to engender, to bear fruit. On the spiritual path, one leads to the other. Once we give up our notion of how life “should be,” we free ourselves to experience the lives that we do have.

Simple, right? But not easy, of course. Give it some time today as you drive or shop or interact with others…See how yielding is a better choice than resistance and bow to the opportunities that so often just show up to help us along on our journey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reminding God

21 Tuesday Mar 2017

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care, confidence, failure, God, goodness, humble heart, lost, love, path, permission, psalm 25, surrender, teach, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust, wandering

apathPsalm 25 is clearly one in which we can see that the psalmist has an ongoing relationship with God. This morning, in an alternative translation of the psalm, I got the notion that God needed reminding of the responsibility of mutuality in that relationship. The lectionary only gives verses 4-8 for our consideration but I want to introduce the text with verse one because it made me smile (as in a parent saying to children who are acting up in some way: “Don’t make me come up there…”). The psalmist begins by reminding God: To you I surrender up my soul, O God. In you I place my deepest trust. May I not regret this wanton act of love; may it never be defeated by some foe.

Perhaps I’m misinterpreting the tone of the psalmist. It may be desire rather than expectation that is being expressed, but I rather like the thought that one might have the confidence that gives permission for such presumption in relationship with God. However you interpret the following verses, the prayer seems a good one for today.

Lead me out upon the path of highest truth that I may learn your wisdom, Lord my God, my saving help day after day. Remember all you’ve ever been to us; from ancient times till now we’ve known your constant care. Remember me, O God, and forget the times when in my youth I failed you. In your great goodness put all this behind, and show the path again to me, even when I’m lost and wandering far away. For you are ever just and fair, you guide all those of humble heart and teach the gentle ones your ways.

 

 

 

 

 

Into the Silence

20 Monday Feb 2017

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blessings, centering prayer, freedom, Hallelujah Farm, light, multi-tasking, pray, reflect, retreat, sacred movement, silence, Spirit of God, surrender

asilenceLate yesterday after a glorious five-hour drive through the beauty of Upstate New York and then the Green Mountains of Vermont I arrived at Hallelujah Farm, a beautiful, sacred place in Chesterfield, New Hampshire, just over the border from Brattleboro, Vermont. I have come here for a week of retreat. This time with a small group of people is to be totally silent, filled with centering prayer, sacred movement, the conscious work of preparing silent meals and cleaning up after ourselves, other small household tasks that provide us with opportunities to pay attention to what we’re doing when we’re doing it…as well as our own private time to pray and reflect. I have the privilege of rising early to provide coffee for my companions. Knowing how important that is for myself, I am happy to provide it for those who share this experience with me.

Silence is a rare commodity in our world today. Noise comes in many ways – from inside us as well as outside. Multi-tasking keeps our minds busy and our hearts asleep, at least sometimes. It has been suggested to us that this time be a week for us to be totally “unplugged” from all our normal activities so that we are not – for any reason, however admirable – diverted from our silence. To this end, I will suspend this morning activity until next Monday. It’s interesting to me that even writing that calls me to the discomfort of surrender – a tiny awareness lesson to start the day. The flip side of the surrender is the feeling of freedom – not to be bound by any need other than to listen deeply to the stirrings of the Spirit of God within and around me.

Light is coming to the landscape outside where soon I hope to see the presence of the “four-footed” friends who inhabit this land. I will take them and all who are reading this into the silence of the week with me. Blessings to all until next Monday!

 

 

 

 

 

Giving In

30 Wednesday Nov 2016

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cold, grateful, heal, health, illness, rest, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

ateaI’m feeling like the weather today: gray and rainy, not much air moving…I was grateful when my doctor told me last Friday that what she found was not serious, just “a little virus” that would, unfortunately, probably hang on for awhile. My scratchy throat is gone and now distress is virtually “all in my head” but it amazes me how debilitating such a little thing can be. I think of my good friend and my sister-in-law, both suffering from pneumonia this month, and of all the people who are chronically ill, who daily have to struggle not to give in to the lassitude that has been my constant companion now for almost a week. I remember in my early days of teaching school when, during a class observation by the principal (my first), my eyes were running so fiercely from a head cold that I could hardly see and my fear was that Father Owens would think I was nervous. There was no luxury of staying home then; work was work, after all.

Today I am grateful for the privilege of rest, the ability to postpone appointments for the benefit of my health (and probably the health of others I could infect!), and the knowledge that my body will heal itself in the near future. All I need to do is cooperate. This hiatus is a good lesson in surrender for me and, for probably the first time in my life, I do not feel a need to resist! I guess I’ll go for my second cup of coffee now, and then…maybe a nap…

Considering Light

20 Sunday Nov 2016

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Colossians, dance, holy ones, inheritance, light, metaphor, silence, St. Paul, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, willingness, wisdom

alightIt appears that we will be snowed in here today. The effort of the meeting facilitators yesterday to finish early today – by noon – was futile as there is a new and complicating wind advisory in the path of most of us toward home. Up early, we have already been checking maps and forecasts on television or computer or both. Nothing changes as we watch. It is only our willingness to surrender to this first winter event that will change anything (read: us!). So what will we do with this time that will likely stretch until at least tomorrow?

When I began to read today’s selection from St. Paul’s letter to the Colossians, the first verse gave me pause. Brothers and sisters, he said, let us give thanks to God who has made you worthy to share the inheritance of the holy ones in light. (COL 1:12) That line is, in itself, worthy of reflection but I found it serendipitously more intriguing because of an e-mail message I received late yesterday. The e-mail came from the same person who had started the chain involving our “wisdom community” that I quoted here after our national elections. Rebecca wrote: So there is something about light that is drawing me, urgent in its continuing to show up. Physical Light, the metaphor of Light, the way the eye sees and the brain – it’s coming from lots of places. So I’m writing to ask you to play with me on this – what do you know about light?

This is an attractive thought for what may indeed become a “play date” with God and God’s friends. I rarely feel that I have the luxury of this kind of “day off” but today the invitation is strong with – apparently – nowhere else I need to go. So why not engage the silence that will be necessary to open up deeper channels of knowing…of seeing…of considering Light? There is already in my inbox an amazing response by one of our more poetic companions.

Question: What would it cost you to enter our playing field or engage your own circle in the dance? Whatever you choose, have a nice day.

Summer Vacation

05 Tuesday Jul 2016

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Daniel Ladinsky, freedom, Hafiz, heart, joy, light, love, play, rejuvenate, spirits, Sufi, surrender, The Gift, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, vacation, wings

afreedom

The fireworks have stopped booming in the nearby locations – and probably everywhere for now – after yesterday’s celebration of Independence Day. Today most of us will be heading back to work or at least to responsibilities that were suspended in many cases for the long holiday weekend. But school is out and the atmosphere is warmer and slower, portending vacation for many during these next two months – an ocean beach, a mountain lake or a pool, at least, for the lucky ones. For all of us – especially those of us who have trouble taking time to rejuvenate because there is always so much to accomplish – I just found some advice from Hafiz, a 14th century Sufi poet, in a book called The Gift by Daniel Ladinsky. I hope to follow it, at least for today.

         WE HAVE NOT COME TO TAKE PRISONERS

We have not come here to take prisoners, but to surrender ever more deeply to freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world to hold ourselves hostage from love.

Run my dear, from anything that may not strengthen your precious budding wings. Run like hell my dear, from anyone likely to put a sharp knife into the sacred, tender vision of your beautiful heart.

We have a duty to befriend those aspects of obedience that stand outside of our house and shout  to our reason “O please, O please, come out and play.”

For we have not come here to take prisoners or to confine our wonderful spirits, but to experience ever and ever more deeply our divine courage, freedom and Light!

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