Twins

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family, pray, siblings, St. Benedict, St. Scholastica, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, twins

Today is the feast of St. Scholastica, sister of the “famous” St. Benedict. I knew they were siblings who both led religious communities. What I didn’t know until today was that they were twins. I don’t suppose that predestined them to be close in mind and heart but it is known to often be significant in the lives of twins. For these two saints the connection seems quite important. Scholastica founded a monastery just 5 miles from her brother. Because of the strict rules of the time, they met once a year at a farmhouse because Scholastica was not permitted in the monastery of her brother. They spent their time, as one would suspect, discussing spiritual matters.

There is a sweet story about Scholastica that made me smile this morning. It seems that Scholastica was aware that the end of her life was near and she asked her brother on their yearly visit to stay the night with her. Not wanting to spend a night away from his monastery, Benedict refused. Scholastica then prayed asking God to let Benedict remain with her until the next day, whereupon a severe thunderstorm broke out, preventing a return to their monasteries.

Here’s the good part…Benedict cried out, “God forgive you, Sister. What have you done?” Scholastica replied, “I asked a favor of you and you refused. I asked it of God and he granted it.” They parted the next morning after their long discussion. Scholastica died three days later and Benedict saw her soul rising to heaven in the form of a white dove. He buried her in a tomb that he had prepared for himself. (www.franciscanmedia.org)

That might be a story that deserves a “You go, Girl!” and today might be a good day to pray for our siblings and/or those close to us like family, asking God for whatever might be favorable in their lives.

Of Brothers and Sisters

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a difficult surrender, Genesis, human relations, inheritance, jealousy, Joseph, Matthew, siblings, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

About three weeks ago my sister wrote asking for prayers for a friend whose beloved sister had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Last night I had an email from her friend that was titled “Update” and was shocked upon opening it to find Camille’s obituary. The reality of losing a sibling came a bit closer at that moment.

This morning’s first reading (Gn:37:3-28) begins to tell the story of Joseph whose father loved him “best of all his sons, for he was the child of his old age.” We all know the story of the brothers throwing Joseph into the cistern in a plot to kill him because of their jealousy but selling him instead to a passing caravan. The tables turn in the end to a happy conclusion for Joseph and – luckily for them – for his brothers. The gospel is similar but more violent as the son of a landowner is killed by tenants seeking his inheritance. (MT 21:33-46) In both stories, the expectation that perpetrators could not possibly disrespect a beloved child of a father is proved false.

I am left sitting this morning with thoughts of the complexity in human relations, mourning for Connie’s sister and for the loss that her family is experiencing and saddened that jealousy can – and does – play such a role in families even today. Whether because of money or levels of affection, personality or birth order, lives can be damaged and families fractured in many ways.

All I can do, I suppose, is offer gratitude for the harmony and love among my siblings, pray for those who have not been so blessed and take every opportunity to listen and help those who are suffering in situations of brokenness, offering them the love that is missing in their lives to the extent possible. What I know for sure is that offering my inability to solve the problems of others is a difficult surrender, a lesson still to be embraced.

What Do You Do?

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best achievement, carpenter, Jesus, Mark, Mary, occupation, professions, rejection, resentment, siblings, stay-at-home mom, synagogue, take offense, teaching, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, who we are, who we are becoming, work

Very often in social situations the first question asked after introductions have been made is: “What do you do?” Whether we like to admit it or not, sometimes judgments are made on the basis of the answer to that question. If someone says, “I’m a Harvard economics professor,” I might think, “Uh oh, I’m out of my league!” or “Boring!” The term stay-at-home mom has gone through lots of titular transitions in the last half-century in the attempt to make staying home with children recognized as real and sometimes difficult work! We value professions over jobs which might be fine if we didn’t assign value in that way to the person doing the work.

This morning the gospel is a great example of what I’m saying. Mark set a scene (MK 6:1-6) in which Jesus goes to his hometown and teaches in the synagogue on the Sabbath. People are astonished at what he says, trying to figure out how he got to be so wise since they’re thinking (and asking!) is he not the carpenter, the son of Mary? They also mention all his siblings (men by name and women as “his sisters”) implying that none of them have achieved the wisdom that he has. If all that wasn’t judgmental enough, the gospel then says that they took offense at him. In other words, “Who does he think he is, talking to us like that?!”

We are funny creatures, rejecting what we don’t understand and resenting the person who might be able to help us if only we would allow it. And what a tragedy to prejudge someone’s interior life and goodness on what they do for a living. Don’t get me wrong; I value a job well done and the effort it takes to achieve what people do. It’s just that we are more than what we do and our best achievement is who we are and who we are becoming. Don’t you agree?