View From the Mirror

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compassion, forgive, forgiven, grateful, hide, honest, imperfections, injustice, kindness, look honestly, love, merciful, mirror, pray, self-esteem, Sirach, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I remember my sister saying once long ago during a visit to our motherhouse that you could tell you were in a convent because there were no mirrors anywhere! I suppose that, if often true, that had two purposes: 1. to keep the Sisters from the vanity of wasting time gazing at themselves, and 2. since there was no hair or make-up to be concerned about because our habits covered almost every inch of the body and getting dressed was a quick, rote exercise. Now, because we do not have the “luxury” of such a simple and universal couture, mirrors are a part of household furnishing in most religious houses.

I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking on the value of this change but I do think there is a benefit, again for two reasons. 1. I have a friend who used to begin her workshops on self-esteem by asking how many people in the audience looked in the mirror while they’re brushing their teeth or their hair and say, “What a woman!” (or “Hello, handsome!”) People used to laugh at that, but her point was made because rarely did anyone admit to a positive response to her question. We need to see ourselves as God sees us: marvels of creation – and be grateful. 2. On the other hand, while we’re looking in that mirror we ought to try each day to be totally honest with ourselves and God about our imperfections. What we try to hide from other people should be frankly looked at in that mirror, again with the realization that God is looking back at us with love. Tender mercy and forgiveness are always there if we are willing to look honestly at ourselves.

The readings in today’s lectionary are all about God’s mercy and forgiveness. The Book of Sirach says this: Forgive your neighbor’s injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven and Could anyone refuse mercy to another like himself…? The Letter to the Romans speaks of how we live and die for the Lord. In so doing, therefore, it stands to reason that we ought to act like the Lord. In the gospel we have Peter trying to figure out how many times we are asked to forgive those who have wronged us and Jesus disappointing him perhaps with the answer: 70 X 7 times – which we know means “every time.”

All those words we know, but do we allow them to live within us so that we don’t become frustrated when we fail in the love we know we owe to others? The most comforting of all the quotes today (perhaps because I hear it put to music sung often in my church) is the psalm response. It sings in me, The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in kindness (or rich in compassion, depending on your translation). Try looking in the mirror, even in your darkest days, and say that line aloud. Can you possibly resist a promise of forgiveness like that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Describing Heaven

Tags

heaven, idea, kingdom of heaven, Kings, Luke, Matthew, near death experience, self-esteem, Solomon, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, treasure, understanding heart, wisdom

There has been lots of speculation over the history of this world of what heaven is like. The difficult thing about any definition is that nobody is really sure. People have talked about “moving toward the light” and other sensations as part of near death experiences but it seems there is no absolute definition, primarily because we live in this realm for now and can only speculate about the next. The gospel for today (MT 13:44-52) gives a few good similes, however, that can help us begin to consider what heaven might feel like at least. They’re very familiar: the joy of finding a treasure in a field, the willingness of selling everything to buy a pearl of great price…but then Jesus talks a bit more seriously about our responsibility not to be swayed by externals. At the end of this morning’s text he says that every scribe who has been instructed in the kingdom of heaven is like the head of a household who brings from his storeroom both the new and the old.

I find that a very helpful sentence and know the truth of it from my experience of life where so much has changed over the past half century. One of my housemates is fond of quoting our novice director who said (among many other pieces of advice): “Don’t be the first to jump on the bandwagon of any idea or trend, but don’t be the last.” In other words use your mind and intuition to come to a decision on what is good in a changing world.

One of the wisest  personages in the Scriptures is Solomon and he appears in today’s lectionary as well. When God gives Solomon “a blank check” for a reward (1KGS 3:5, 7-12) he doesn’t ask for anything material but rather speaks of being young and inexperienced and therefore says: “Give your servant, therefore, an understanding heart to judge people and to distinguish right from wrong.” Great answer! Would that we would all be so wise!

Perhaps it seems I have veered off from my original intent of writing about what heaven could be like. Not so! All of this is building to a statement of Jesus that seems finally in our lifetime to be considered by many as a way to proceed in this life and to prepare for the next. Not part of today’s readings but essential to this consideration is LK 17:21. Jesus says (perhaps shockingly) “The kingdom of God (or heaven) is within you.” Some translations say “among you” or “in you midst” but the message is clearly that we needn’t wait for our death to live in heaven. It is here, lived by those whose wisdom is akin to Solomon’s. It doesn’t mean that everything is perfect but it does mean that we ought to be conscious of God’s presence working at all times and in all places and that we are to participate in this presence. That is a difficult teaching, especially if we live on the level of personality instead of “putting on the mind of Christ.”

I am stopped in my tracks here – thinking that I have opened a very large can of worms that takes more than a few sentences to bring to conclusion. So let me just make a few suggestions for reflection on what putting on the mind of Christ might mean that might lead to more and deeper consideration.

1. How would you feel if you found a treasure or won the lottery? What would you do with the money?
2. What is your most prized material possession? For whom or what person would you be willing to give it up or even share it?
3. What does the concept of “an understanding heart” mean to you? Can you think of times when someone has shown you an example of that reality in a big way?
4. What is the level of your self-esteem? Can you believe that the kingdom of heaven exists within you? That your actions and ways of relating further the reality of God in this life? Has anyone ever said anything to you indicating that kind of message (e.g. “You’re an angel!” or ” God must have put you in my life because…”) Did you believe it?

These are just beginning prompts for considering the possibility that we are, in fact, responsible for living the kingdom of God right here, right now. Can you see it? Are you even willing to entertain the concept? That would be a start…

 

 

 

 

 

Telling the Truth, Honestly

Tags

Ancient Songs Sung Anew, divine teacher, failure, gained, God, history lesson, lessons, meditation, psalm 78, self-esteem, success, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, unconditional love, wandering, wisdom

I was in a conversation last evening about the difficulty of being honest if one is dependent on others for self-esteem. There are other reasons why people lie, of course – perhaps especially in business these days – but even in our everyday lives the challenge is to avoid linking our worth to success or failure in the eyes of others or even ourselves. As I write this, my thoughts come round to the conclusion that our image of God needs to be taken into consideration here. If the God I believe in is the God of unconditional love, I ought to be able to be honest about both my successes and failures before God and, in that assurance, not be so timid about speaking the truth in all situations.

Psalm 78 is one of the longest psalms. It is, according to one commentator, the retelling of the epic journey of Israel, both an interior and an exterior experience of wandering. It is the reflection of someone who wants to see clearly the realities, and who laments the mistakes of the past…He or she does not glorify the past (as most epic stories do), but tells it in stark detail, failure after failure…It is perhaps true that this is wisdom literature precisely because it refuses to do what other literature does: glorify the past and gloss over the failures in which lie the deepest lessons of wisdom. (Ancient Songs Sung Anew, p.199)

The first eight verses of the psalm tell of the purpose of recounting what is to come in the rest of the “history lesson” and it is these verses that appear in the lectionary today. I think it bears repeating.

Listen carefully, my people, pay close attention, all who belong to me. For I am about to speak as teacher, explaining the mysteries of old. I will teach you using parables drawn from ancient times. I will teach you many lessons you must know. And what you learn and come to hear, speak it to your children, so generations yet unborn will know God’s works and ways, how God taught ancient Jacob and Israel knowledge of the law; how it became a pathway, a teaching meant for all. It passed as holy wisdom to the people as yet unborn so as they lived their trust would grow upon the paths of God, and not rebel or learn so slow, as their ancestors before them.

The commentator asks questions for meditation which stood out to me as directive for today. 1. Where have you experienced the divine teacher in the midst of both success and failure? 2. What have you learned specifically from failure and sin, or disobedience to the best that you knew? AND What have you gained from mistakes made in ignorance?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Truth About Ourselves

Tags

bitterness, compliment, flaws, foibles, gift, hope, humility, love, Macrina Wiederkehr, mirror, nonviolent heart, Peace, self-esteem, seven sacred pauses, strength, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, The Truth, transform, truth

I often spend time encouraging people to recognize and celebrate what is good about themselves because I find so many of us focusing mainly on our flaws and foibles. In workshops and retreats I have been known to give a piece of advice learned from a friend long ago. She tells groups of women (and sometimes men) to look in the mirror every morning and say, “What a woman!” (“What a guy!”) When I say that the whole room laughs and only once did someone admit practicing something like that compliment! When the laughter subsides, I ask why that was their response and what it says about our self-esteem. If humility is truth, we should be able to give ourselves a compliment without discomfort as long as we credit God for the provenance of the gifts we possess. Our reticence most likely comes from all those influences from childhood that encouraged us to be seen and not heard and never, never to brag. “All in moderation” and “Consider the Source” might have been more helpful.

Having said all this, I was interested in the tiny bit of squeamishness that arose in me as I read Macrina Wiederkehr’s reflection this morning called The Truth. As you do the same, consider your reaction.

I will believe the truth about myself no matter how beautiful it is. I believe in my power to transform indifference into love. I believe I have an amazing gift to keep hope alive in the face of despair. I believe I have the remarkable skill of deleting bitterness from my life. I believe in my budding potential to live with a nonviolent heart. I believe in my passion to speak the truth even when it isn’t popular. I believe I have the strength of will to be peace in a world of violence. I believe in my miraculous capacity for unconditional love. I will believe the truth about myself no matter how beautiful it is.  (Seven Sacred Pauses, p. 109)

Perhaps we would do well to create our own list of beautiful truths. Some of us may have to start small; Macrina must’ve spent a long time developing her list. But if you dug deep and kept looking in that mirror, (honestly try now) what would your list include?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adulation

Tags

accomplishments, Acts of the Apostles, agency, Barnabas, compliments, heal, humility, instruments of God, Paul, self-esteem, talents, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, witness

It’s difficult for some of us to take compliments. In “the old days” we were taught to “be humble” which meant to be self-effacing, never taking credit when we did a good act, looked pretty or handsome or performed well in a recital. Parents were often afraid their children would get “a swelled head” and think themselves better than others. While the sentiment was noble, lots of damage was – and maybe still is – done to self esteem as these children grew into adulthood. Today we understand that it’s good to acknowledge the accomplishments of others; humility is really another word for truth. The caution is for us to realize that many of our accomplishments come from God-given talents as well as our own effort and that we walk through life with the help and guidance of others – which I guess means we still occasionally need that person who will keep us from getting a swelled head. Keeping our ego in check is a lifelong balancing act.

In this morning’s reading from the Acts of the Apostles (Acts 14:5-18), Paul and Barnabas are making their way from town to town, sometimes being persecuted for their preaching but sometimes just the opposite, as in Lystra, where they are able to heal a lame man who had never walked. As a result the people began to speak of them as gods and their temple priest brought oxen and garlands to offer in sacrifice to them. Their response was swift and strong. They tore their garments and said to the crowds, “Men, why are you doing this? We are of the same nature as you, human beings! We proclaim to you good news that you should turn from idols to the living God…In bestowing his goodness, he did not leave himself without witnesses…” They understood agency (see previous post) and knew that they were instruments of God’s healing. They knew and exercised the gift that had been given to them but did not forget the source of the gift. No unbridled ego there, just faithful witnesses.

May it be so with us.

What’s Your Talent?

Tags

boastfulness, Jesus, Matthew, self-esteem, talents, use it or lose it

This morning’s readings call me to a sense of balance in evaluating my worth. Too much self-esteem can lead to boastfulness if left unchecked. Too little leaves me unable to function in a world of expectations of success. As always, “virtue stands in the middle” and the message of the Scriptures today is a reality check for us, a sort of looking in the mirror of who we are and accepting what we’ve been given in order to become our best selves.

Paul starts right off putting his readers in their place (and he knew well where pride can take us!). He says, “Not many of you are wise by human standards, powerful or of noble birth…” He’s not interested any more in “human standards” but rather tells them, “God chose the foolish to shame the wise, the weak to shame the strong, the lowly…” (1Cor 1: 26-31) The only boasting should be done in the Lord.

Jesus is interested as well in our ability to consider our calling as we live every day. The gospel (Mt 25: 14-30) tells of a man going on a journey who leaves his servants “talents” according to their abilities. A talent in Scriptural terms is a weight, usually in silver or gold, and two of the three servants increased what they had been given while the master was away. The third buried his out of fear of the master and rather than being rewarded for not losing it he was stripped of everything when the master returned. (The adage “use it or lose it” comes to mind here.)

The lesson is clear. Just because I haven’t won Dancing with the Stars (which in my mind I would love to count as a success) doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be happy with my cha cha. Here’s a realistic example. Each morning when I sit to write these reflections I wonder if I will have anything of value to say. I breathe a sigh of relief when the readings offer up something “easy” to work with but sometimes I find myself trying too hard because what I’m seeing on the page seems bland to me. It helps when someone tells me that my blog has been good for her/him that day. Often now though I just trust that what is supposed to open in me will do so and I breathe in the conviction that God’s Spirit is responsible for this task. I am called to be a co-creator, using my early calling as a language teacher and my long tenure as a seeker toward God to allow what will happen to be of service for the day. I remember Paul’s dictum: “Whoever boasts should boast in the Lord” and just say “thank you!” – rather than either refusing recognition of the worth of my stewardship or taking all the credit.

We have all been given talents for the building up of the kingdom of God. How balanced is your view of where your talents lie?

PS: One of my insecurities is that if I miss a day blogging, you may never return to reading. I’m getting over that, however, confident at last that you probably can live without me! I’m on a holiday with my siblings until Tuesday so the schedule and “alone time” are rather topsy-turvy. This time is a rare gift for me, as is the blog, so perhaps I will be in touch tomorrow, Monday and Tuesday but perhaps not. In any case, I am content in knowing that my worth is not dependent on my product but rather on my intention to be my best self each and every day. May God give you the grace to know the same!