The Day After

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connections, gathering, harmony, Peace, relationships, similarities, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Over the past few days there has been much attention paid to the weather. Huge storms all across the United States have taken first place on the nightly news and are second only to the numbers of people who are traveling during this “Thanksgiving weekend.” It occurred to me to stop and think about the impact of this holiday which is not, in itself, religious or of directly patriotic origin. It has grown to include commemoration in houses of worship as a natural way of gathering to give thanks and parades usually include groups of military service people and/or their equipment. At its heart, however, Thanksgiving is about connections – millions of people traveling across the country or down the street to share a meal. It’s even fine to stay in one’s home as long as there are invitees and a turkey or some other special meal that says, “Thank you for our lives together.”

Millions of people take risks to travel to be with loved ones. (Note the pile-ups on snow-packed highways during the past few days.) Organizations offer free meals to those who have no one to share with or for those who live in a state of poverty too restrictive for such a feast. New relationships begin or are solidified over cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie…and (usually) turkey or tofurkey, of course. It’s about eating together, being nourished in ways that can rekindle family ties, reconcile friendships or spark attention to similarities of beliefs or interests. Many things can happen at Thanksgiving.

Best of all, we remember and experience gratitude, the foundational reason for the first Thanksgiving celebrated by the Pilgrims and their neighbors after their first harvest in the New World in October of 1621. It lasted for three days and was attended by 90 Native Americans and 53 Pilgrims, according to attendee, Edward Winslow. May the good feelings of yesterday remain and relationships endure so that the heart of our country may be ever more open and restored to peace and harmony.

Connections

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encounter, friend, gratitude, presence, relationships, spiritual home, St. Barnabas, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Commentary on this feast of St. Barnabas got me thinking today about connections. The Franciscan Media website tells us that Barnabas was “a Jew of Cyprus, as close as anyone outside the Twelve to being a full-fledged apostle.” A close associate of St. Paul, he was the one who introduced Paul to Peter and had a major role in mediating between Paul and the Jewish Christians.

Many, if not most of the people who come to the Spiritual Center in Windsor, come because of a recommendation from a friend. Often, they find a “spiritual home” here and come back eagerly the next summer to see those like-minded people with whom they continue to grow together as they are nurtured in their spiritual development. I see the same happening at the Sophia Center in the many gatherings that draw individuals of varied backgrounds. They come, perhaps, for something that sounds interesting and come back because of the people they they find in the encounter. Some relationships are instantaneous; some grow with time. Occasionally we only see a person once or twice and wonder why we miss their presence, wishing they would return.

I’ve often heard that people are in our lives for a purpose and I believe that to be true. Whether for a “chance” encounter or a lifetime relationship, the connection can be significant, even life-changing sometimes.Today’s commentary notes that in the early Church “all was not peaceful…and even the best of friends can have differences.” Surrender is a facet of any mature relationship and sometimes binds people together in ways that nothing else can.

These musings lead me to a theme for my day which will include at least three opportunities to be grateful for the people in my life – stalwart friends as well as those I do not yet know well. In between I will bless those who have taught me life lessons and have passed from this world. My gratitude list will surely be long at the end of the day…

Mother’s Day

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child, gratitude, mother, Mother's Day, openess, Peace, pure love, relationships, solace, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Today is what many Americans call, somewhat cynically, a “Hallmark holiday.” In addition to cards – often purchased from Hallmark – we spend a great deal of money on flowers and other purchases to tell our mothers that we love them. Sometimes those material things are a substitute for the words “I love you,” words that would be enough for most mothers.

I know that for many people this is a difficult day because mother-daughter or mother-son relationships can be difficult or even tragic and I pray for the healing of those relationships as there are no closer ties than those between mother and child. The time of nourishing a child from within one’s own body cannot be measured or replicated but the longing and waiting of a prospective adoptive mother certainly qualifies as a different kind of pregnancy.

My siblings and I were some of the “lucky ones,” having hit the jackpot in the “good mother” department. A bright, loving partner for our father, our mother, Mary Frances, aka “May,” was born on the first day of this beautiful month and flowered in different ways throughout her 87 years of life. Even in the throes of her last years with Alzheimer’s disease, she never lost the ability to convince us of the truth of her love. All we needed was her smile and the look in her eyes.

Today I pray for all mothers and their children. For those who share a great love and for those who wish they did, I ask a blessing of gratitude and peace. For those who never knew their mothers or those abandoned, I pray for solace. For each of us, I pray a prayer of openness and pure love, that we will love as unselfishly and kindly as the Divine Lover of the universe loves each of us and all of us.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Risky Business

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conscious work, disappointment, misunderstanding, personal experience, rejection, relationships, similar, social media, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, words

Sometimes words fail to express what we’re trying to convey, simply because our words are reflections of some personal experience, unique to us – or so we think. Often, however, when we take the risk to share something we are certain that no one would understand, we are shocked into a recognition of how similar we are. This is another arena in which we find that practice is the only way to grow. If we never step out of our comfort zone(s) we will likely not come to understand ourselves or others in the deepest ways possible. 

There is, of course, the possibility of misunderstanding or rejection in our willingness to open ourselves to others. It seems to me, however, that the benefits of risk in this way generally outweigh the disappointments if we take our time and pay attention to the growing edge of disclosure in our relationships. I’m not referring here to youthful experience of trial and error with the “best friends for life” that we read about now in our high school yearbooks, although some of those relationships do remain tried and true. 

In one sense it seems more difficult to maintain deep, mature relationships in this fast-paced, mobile world. Looked at another way, one could see it as easier to keep in touch if we’re willing to use the technologies that permeate our culture like Zoom, Twitter, FaceTime, etc. but that in itself is a challenge for some of us. 

I guess it’s all a question – like everything successful seems to be – of conscious work, balance and letting go…Sometimes we are pleased and sometimes disappointed but in both situations we have an opportunity to grow. At this point in my life, that is enough to know.

Treasure

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books, heart of God, Jesus, Matthew, relationships, Sermon on the Mount, surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, there also will your heart be, treasure, Where your treasure is

The more I reflect on the words of Jesus, the more I realize how great a role the process of discernment must play in life. Each section – sometimes each line – of Matthew’s rendering of the Sermon on the Mount (Ch. 5-7) strikes a chord worthy of some consideration. Today there’s consideration of what constitutes treasure in our lives. As I look around my room it is clear that my most treasured possessions are books – not just words on a screen but actual, physical books that I can hold in my hand, feeling the texture of paper as I turn the pages, savoring the musty smell of the oldest of them…you get the picture. But then I think that more important treasure for me lies in relationships, beginning with family and community, multiplied with the hundredfold of friends and teachers, co-workers and guides that have carried me forward in life and led me to the greatest treasure of all: life in God.

If I’m honest I have to admit that sometimes I get sidetracked into “treasure” that seems to be gold but turns out to be dust. I think we all get hooked in that way, at least occasionally. The way of vigilance in avoiding that kind of temptation is simply offered in MT 6:21 where Jesus says, “Where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.” So I ask myself today if I could let go of my books if necessary…and if I recognize that some relationships are forever but some are purposed for a particular time in life…and I look to my heart for surrender, reminding myself to always set my heart in the heart of God.

Turn Around

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a new heart, a new spirit, change the world, commited, Ezekiel, God, Lenten practice, Matthew, reconciled, relationships, restore, right relationship, self-surrender, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, turn around

The word conversion comes from the Latin and calls us to turn in another direction. This morning’s gospel verse (EZ 18:31) urges us to “turn away from all the crimes you have committed and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit.” I was interested in the responsibility for those actions whose agent in the Scriptures is often God; in this case it is we ourselves who do the creating of something new. In the same manner, the gospel puts responsibility on us this morning in our relationships with others and adds a twist that calls for even more self-surrender than we might expect. Jesus does not say, “If you have something against your brother [or sister] go and be reconciled.” Rather the text reads, “If you bring your gift to the altar and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (MT 5:23) So whether or not we think we have been wronged, there is no pouting allowed here. It doesn’t tell us to go and ask for an apology, nor to apologize for something that is not our fault just to get it over with. The command is to go and be reconciled which means to restore to relationship and it clearly says it’s up to us to figure out how to do that.

Both Ezekiel and Matthew this morning speak to something that we might care to work on if we’re looking for a Lenten practice, but it is really something that belongs in our daily intentions throughout the year. Each day we ought to be committed to right relationship with God, with other people and with the whole of creation. We can’t wait for others to take the first step. Make for yourselves a new heart and spirit, Ezekiel says. Don’t wait for the other to come to you, Jesus urges. Turn around and see what can be done to change yourself, to change the world. It starts today.