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Tag Archives: relationship

What’s In A Name?

18 Tuesday Sep 2018

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Ancient Songs Sung Anew, God's name, knowledge, Lynn Bauman, name, personal, psalm 100, relationship, relationship with God, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

anamebadgePsalm 100 is brief but clear and direct in how we are to be in relationship with God. The psalmist calls to us to “know that the Lord is God” and assures us that we are “the sheep of God’s flock.” We are instructed to sing joyfully, serving the Lord, giving praise and thanksgiving to the One who is good, kind and faithful to all generations. Very succinct and all-encompassing advice, we might say.

One phrase deserves special notice, I think, for our everyday lives. It not only says “Give thanks to God” but follows that clause with “bless God’s name.” Having just come from a retreat where we were introduced to the Sufi practice of chanting the 99 names of God, I was reminded of my effort to learn the names of all those on retreat. There were only 16 of us so it was obviously much easier than learning all the names of God, and since we were in silence throughout the retreat one could argue that it wasn’t as essential as in most other situations. For me, however, knowing someone’s name implies at least a beginning of relationship and is important, no matter the situation. How might this also be true with regard to our relationship with God? In his commentary on Psalm 100, Lynn Bauman seems to agree as he writes the following:

If you do not know someone’s name, what is your relationship like? When you both know the name and the person behind the name in a personal way, how does the relationship change? Pause and reflect on your own knowledge of the name of God. (Ancient Songs Sung Anew, p. 252)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Commitment

16 Monday Jul 2018

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action, covenant, inaction, psalm 50, relationship, sacrifice, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

asacrificeToday’s lectionary includes verses from Psalm 50 in which the psalmist expresses God’s desire for us to “step up” in our response to life, suggesting that our sacrificial offerings (bulls and goats – or for us checks and cash) are not enough. God says, “Why do you recite my statutes and profess my covenant with your mouth though you hate discipline and cast my words behind you?”

We could take offense at this and use more words to defend our actions or inactions. If I am honest and look in the mirror, I must admit to that kind of behavior at least some of the time. But then I hear verse 14 wherein God seems in need of relationship with us. “No! But this is what I want from you. Offer me grateful heart. Fulfill the vows that you have made.” It’s as if God is asking from us what each of us wants from others: the willingness to say what we mean and mean what we say – and then to live into what that means.

How can I refuse?

 

 

 

 

 

I’ll Take the Risk

19 Tuesday Jun 2018

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enemies, hate, judge, love, Matthew, open heart, pray, relationship, see, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

anopenheartToday’s gospel (MT 5:43-48) is one that can make me feel as if it would be easier to go back to sleep. Turning over and saying, “Sorry, God. Those questions are too hard for this time in the morning” seems reasonable. It never works, though, because the questions keep nagging.

  • If you love those who love you, what recompense will you have?
  • If you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that?

In truth, it’s easy to “hate” (too strong a word for my vocabulary these days) people that I have never met because there has been no energy exchange between us and I have no measure that has come from conversation with them. If I only know about people from what others have said, I may judge from externals rather than the depth of their hearts. I’m not saying that every person in the world is worthy of relationship but dismissing people because of hearsay is not fair. What room does that leave for conversion? Sometimes people who seem unlovable have grown that way because of never having been loved by anyone in their lives. Maybe we are called to be just what they need to see a different way to live. Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” He knew how to do it and is willing to help us, I think, if we sincerely want to move toward unconditional love.

None of this means that we need to embrace the horrific actions of criminals. What it does mean, to me, is that everyone lives in the circle of God’s love and, if we work to keep our hearts open to possibility, we may just lift up the world a tiny bit toward the good. I’m willing to give it a try.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Conversation

16 Saturday Jun 2018

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closer, conversation, curious, differences, different, good listening, judgment, listen, listening, Meg Wheatley, messages, relationship, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Turning To One Another

alistenI’m up early to greet the day with Meg Wheatley’s book, turning to one another. (Yes, the title is written in all lower case letters – most likely to emphasize the desire to have a conversation of equality.) I haven’t visited this treasure for a long time but have been trying to live with its messages nonetheless. It all seems so timely now when, day by day, so much in the world seems so fractured. I don’t know why it called to me as I turned to set my coffee on my side table. Perhaps it’s the appearance of the book itself, skinny but tall and dressed in a coat of red and yellow on its spine. Here are the two paragraphs that wouldn’t let me go this morning.

I hope you’ll begin a conversation, listening for what’s new. Listen as best you can for what’s different, for what surprises you. See if this practice helps you learn something new. Notice whether you develop a better relationship with the person you’re talking with. If you try this with several people, you might find yourself laughing in delight as you realize how many unique ways there are to be human.

We have the opportunity many times a day, everyday, to be the one who listens to others, curious rather than certain. But the greatest benefit of all is that listening moves us closer. When we listen with less judgment, we always develop better relationship with each other. It’s not differences that divide us. It’s our judgments about each other that do. Curiosity and good listening bring us back together. (p.36)

 

 

 

 

 

My Soul Is Thirsting

02 Saturday Jun 2018

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calling, Cynthia Bourgeault, homecoming, mystery, paths, pilgrimage, psalm 63, relationship, resonance, spiritual journey, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, thirst, Thomas Merton

athirstThis morning the psalmist cries out: My soul is  thirsting for you, my God! The whole of Psalm 63 is a passionate expression of what it means to be on a spiritual journey and is as relevant today as it was in the lifetime of Jesus or of the Israelites in the desert. Each of us is called, as we wake up to the necessity of relationship with something greater than ourselves, to search for what slakes that thirst. Some of us “go it alone” but most find companions on the way whose desire mirrors our own.

Today I leave on what I have come to see as both pilgrimage and homecoming while 14 people, some still sleeping across our yard, have come here to go deeper in their spiritual quest. Neither is preferable; both lead us on to more meaningful living. I will be sharing this week with about 80 seekers, many my “familiars,” in the hometown of my teacher, Cynthia Bourgeault. It is worth the 12-hour drive (only half of which I will do by myself) to touch back for a week into an experience of deep resonance that has been building in me for the past dozen years. I could just as well stay home in the company of another inspired teacher whose language is not as familiar but whose depth and spiritual authority I highly respect. But I go with expectation and joy.

There is mystery in our callings toward God. This morning I celebrate the variety of paths that lead us irrevocably to conscious union. For me, today, Thomas Merton says it best.

My only desire is to give myself completely to the action of this infinite love, Who is God, Who demands to transform me into Himself secretly, darkly, in simplicity, in a way that has no drama about it and is infinitely beyond everything spectacular and astonishing, so is its significance and its power. (Entering the Silence, p.48)

 

 

 

 

 

Go Deeper

15 Thursday Feb 2018

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connection, discipline, fasting, Isaiah, Lent, mass shooting, reconciliation, relationship, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, transformation, turning your back

afamilyriftIn the wake of another mass shooting in a high school yesterday where all reports were of a system that was prepared for such an incident, it seems futile to talk about all the security measures that were in place. How was a single gunman able to kill 17 people? Will we ever be able to stop such things from happening by shoring up our defenses? Are we not called for something more transformative? Isaiah thinks so.

Some of us are still entering Lent with hopes of transformation resulting from the simple disciplines like giving up our favorite foods or fasting from criticism of our co-workers (not a bad start!). How do we react to this morning’s challenge of Isaiah who asks: “Do you call this a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?” When is the last time we participated in an effort to “set free the oppressed?” We’re pretty good at sharing our bread with the hungry but how many times do we open our homes to the oppressed and the homeless? That could be pretty dangerous, right?

We tend to make excuses about the impossibility of interpreting the Scriptures literally. Culture has changed so much…life is so different now, and, to be honest, those claims have some validity. Can we find ways, though, to practice such large-heartedness in the culture that is ours now?

Here is the line that is closest to my heart. I hear so often about families whose members don’t even speak to one another. Isaiah finishes his litany of how we ought to work toward transformation with the call of not turning your back on your own. How might I, who have been blessed with a nuclear and extended family that are bound together by care and history of connection, find a way to interpret that dictum of Isaiah as part of Lenten practice? Believing that we are all brothers and sisters, perhaps my task is to examine the wider sphere of my relationships and work to repair any rift or misunderstanding that I can find, even if it has been long buried. Perhaps in working toward this kind of reconciliation, I might join in the necessary effort toward forgiveness that hangs heavy on our hearts today.

 

 

 

 

 

What’s the Cost?

25 Friday Aug 2017

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Elimelech, fidelity, Hebrew Scriptures, Matthew, Naomi, Orpah, relationship, Ruth, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

afamilywalkingToday is one of those times when inspiration is very easy to come by, just from about five minutes with the Scripture texts from the daily lectionary. See if you find the story from the Hebrew Scriptures consonant with the Christian gospel. To me it’s a “no brainer” with a most important shared theme.

First we have the story of a time of famine when Elimelech and his wife Naomi moved with their two sons from Bethlehem of Judah to the plateau of Moab. Fast forward ten years and learn that Elimelech and his two sons have died. Naomi is left with two Moabite daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth, (sound familiar?) when she learns that the famine is over in her native land and she decides to go home. Custom would allow her daughters-in-law to stay in their homeland and possibly marry again. When Naomi makes ready to return to Judah the Scriptures say that Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye, but Ruth stayed with her. When Naomi protests, urging Ruth to stay with her own people in her own land, we have the famous response of Ruth who says: Do not ask me to abandon or forsake you! For wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people and your God, my God. And so it was recorded in the Book of Ruth.

Today’s gospel is similarly familiar. When Jesus is asked (MT 22:34-40) which commandment in the Law is the greatest he responds with what we know (and Jesus had learned in his youth) as “the Great Commandment.” You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.

So it seems that today is a good day to reflect on the seamlessness of the two statements of Jesus, comprising our most essential work in life. How well am I loving God as I love my neighbor and do I see love of neighbor as constitutive of my love for God? Ruth is an icon of fidelity to family – even an inherited family – and it seems that her love of her mother-in-law encompasses all the relationships that Naomi has held in her heart during her sojourn in Moab, including her willingness to embrace Naomi’s deepest spiritual beliefs. Am I willing to let go of my needs and wants and maybe even some cherished practices in service to relationship? Will I allow myself to be changed by love – even to a deeper relationship with God?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Encouraging Words To God

10 Tuesday Jan 2017

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Book of Hours: Love Poems to God, God's strength, Rainer Maria Rilke, relationship, solitude, strength, sunlight, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

ashaftoflightIn Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love Poems to God I found this morning the following lines of what a future relationship with God might look like from his perspective at the turn of the 20th century. I was especially struck by the personal tone and vivid images that he used as he encouraged God about God’s strength in the world – perhaps still in the future today or ready for manifestation now through us.

You too [God] will find your strength. We who live in this time cannot imagine how strong you will become – how strange, how surprising, yet familiar as yesterday. We will sense you like a fragrance from a nearby garden and watch you move through our days like a shaft of sunlight in a sickroom. We will not be herded into churches, for you are not made by the crowd, you who meet us in our solitude. We are cradled close in your hands – and lavishly flung forth. (II, 26)

Looking for Light

06 Sunday Mar 2016

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blindness, Bridge of Spies, children of light, Cold War, enemy, Ephesians, goodness, James Donovan, no one is perfect, prodigal son, relationship, righteousness, Russian spy, search for truth, St. Paul, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, truth

Again this Sunday there are two sets of lectionary readings from which to choose a theme, depending on whether a parish has catechumens or candidates who are being initiated into the Roman Catholic faith. Both gospel texts are good stories – one the Prodigal Son parable and the other about the man born blind where everyone is concerned to find out whose sin caused the blindness. Even the Hebrew Scripture weighs in with the story of how David was chosen as king. Looking at all of this I can only conclude – as I often do – that it’s all about relationship and the search for truth. Oh, yes, and the fact that nobody is perfect.

Last evening we watched the movie, Bridge of Spies at home. A true story about an incident in the Cold War, it was quite engaging in many ways but especially as an indicator of the integrity of attorney James Donovan, chosen to defend a Russian spy. Everyone expected the trial and the spy’s execution to be a “slam-dunk” but Donovan was having none of that. I won’t go further with the plot but would recommend the movie and make one more comment that I see as reflective both of today’s text from the letter to the Ephesians and the theme of relationship mentioned above.

Paul exhorts his listeners to live as children of light, for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth. Throughout the movie Donovan treated the spy as a human being worthy of respect simply for the fact that he was a human being. Shining a different light on the word “enemy” by coming to know the man – even though he was admittedly guilty of being a spy – calls me to be careful of vilifying an entire population because of the actions of a government or a group of people. This is not as simple as I make it seem, especially when we are seriously threatened as we were by the Soviet Union (and they by us) in 1962. Paul calls us, however, to try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness. In doing so, we may find  relationship in places we could not imagine and outcomes better than we  ever thought possible – even as we still admit that no one is perfect!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s My Line?

19 Tuesday Jan 2016

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appearances, encounter, God looks into the heart, Jesse, judging others, King David, King Saul, lifelong companion, non-judgmental, occupation, relationship, Samuel, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

akingdavidWhen I was young, early in the television “game show” era there was a program called “What’s my line?” where panelists who were blindfolded attempted to guess the occupation of the guest by asking questions that began by eliminating large categories of careers and then became more and more particularized until finally someone (usually) guessed the person’s work. The first reading for today (1 SM 16:1-13) brought this show to mind although it barely seems to have relevance except perhaps in the process of eliminating people for a job rather than the other way around.

God is looking for a replacement for King Saul and tells Samuel to go to the House of Jesse where he will find God’s anointed one. Jesse had seven sons whom he presented to Samuel who thought even as he saw Eliab, the first son to appear, that “surely the Lord’s anointed is here before Him.” But God said to Samuel, “Do not judge from his appearance or from his lofty stature, because I have rejected him. Not as man sees does God see, because he sees the appearance but God looks into the heart.” Samuel must’ve been getting nervous as one by one the seven were rejected by God. Thankfully, when he asked, “Are these all the sons you have?” the answer was yes and, as we know, the youngest, the sheepherder, became the great King David, God’s beloved, from whose line Jesus was born.

Just two days ago I spoke of clothing and how we often judge by appearance. Here it is again. The italicized sentence is good advice for us if we are trying to live a good and godly life. “Looking into the heart” can’t be done in a quick encounter, unless it leads to a deep and meaningful conversation. Usually it takes some time for a relationship to develop, for trust to become the basis for sharing. There are exceptions, times when God surprises us with unexpected people who appear on our path for the first time and who, from that first encounter (which includes that deep and meaningful first conversation), become life-long companions. Our job is to stay alert for the gifts of relationship, whether they seem to come instantaneously or grow incrementally. If we foreclose on possibility without exploration, we always lose.

So blessings on all of us whose desire is to be non-judgmental, who welcome people into our hearts and give them the opportunity to find God’s presence there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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