Precious

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animals, companion, intuition, lesson, relationship, teacher, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

For some time now, our cat (really Sister Paula’s cat—a great story for another day) has taken it upon herself to come and sit on my lap if she sees me sitting in my over-stuffed chair. Little by little, Precious has taken over every piece of furniture in the house and has wormed her was into all the hearts in the house as well. I am the last holdout, likely because we never had an animal in our house when I was growing up. I have come to love dogs over the years because of the extraordinary dogs I have known, especially the lovely Lady Ruth, the beautiful Irish Setter who thought she was a person, and any number of Labradors: golden, black or in between and a couple of tiny dogs of the chihuahua breed. Happy to have made the acquaintance of each of these “furry friends,” I have not only enjoyed them but have benefited by the relationships. My first serious lesson in that realm came from Ruth. One day, long ago, I was very sad—bereft even—for a reason I have long forgotten. I came home from work and, finding no one in the house, I walked down to our back field and sat in the grass, likely to pout. Some moments later, I realized that I had company, Lady Ruth was quietly sitting beside me. She didn’t say anything but sat quietly with me, offering her presence for my comfort. It was a powerful lesson about the intuition of some animals.

This morning I had a similar experience. I was attempting to write a blog post and having little success when Precious suddenly extricated herself from me and my chair and moved on to her next task. I realized I had been very alert as I petted her. She has not yet learned the difference in biting and nipping as an expression of love and I never want to trust that she has succeeded in learning the distinction. Thus I am careful to be alert even while feeling the comfort of the relationality of connection to another being.

It’s really difficult to explain the meaning of such an experience to non-animal people, but take my word for it. Animals are some of the greatest teachers around!

Subject/Object

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Ezekiel, loving heart, Matthew, reconciliation, relationship, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I remember when I first heard – I mean really heard these lines in Matthew’s gospel: “If you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother and then come and offer your gift.” (Mt 5: 20-26) It seemed a bit backward to me—not that I might have something against my brother but rather that I was being blamed for wrongdoing. It made me look deeper at my willingness to own up to my failings in relationship.

Today I need to entertain another step on the way to maturity. Not only do we have Matthew’s advice quoted above, but the gospel acclamation adds another layer to the need for truth telling. It says: “Cast away from you all the crimes you have committed, says the Lord, and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit.” (Ez 18:31) It’s as if we’re called before a God who is not willing to do all the work in telling us what we’ve done that we ought to regret in our relationships but that we ought to be conscious enough and honest enough to “say it like it is.” For those of us who are used to the Scripture that says, “I will take away from you your stony hearts and give you a new (or “natural”) heart, this is a new moment. Still believing the truth of that generous promise from God about new hearts, it now seems incumbent on us that we work with God to create those new, natural, loving hearts that beat more clearly than ever before.

Where’s the Evidence?

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interpretation, reconciliation, relationship, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

We have watched a lot of Hallmark movies this year. First there were the ones that led us up to Christmas – all rather formulaic, but preferable to much of what else is on television lately. The one thing that always bothers me (and always is present in the stories) is a moment when the protagonist overhears a conversation or sees a situation that s/he interprets incorrectly, which subsequently leads to a rupture in the burgeoning relationship of the two main characters. Within five minutes of the “denouement” there is a reconciliation, of course, and the final kiss that seals the relationship and enables a “happily ever after.”

What bothers me about this universal set of circumstances is the fact that none of the characters investigates the perceived change of heart in the love interest. There is never any conversation, never an answer to “what could be a different outcome here?” People just leave without an explanation or a trace. Of course, they are swiftly back in the scene before the clock strikes and just in time for the kiss, frustrating me with the shallowness of the characters and their behavior.

This rant about my TV time distress is similar to the reading today from the Book of Daniel (ch. 13) where two elders plot to violate a woman and, if they are found out, to lie about the situation to avoid shame or punishment. Luckily for the young woman, Daniel steps up and makes things right by quick thinking (a great story), but it does remind me of our tendency to judge by appearances rather than by deeper thinking and/or evidence.

The lesson here is for myself (and maybe some of you). Why does it bother me so much? I really do think it has to do with the simple formula of the episodes, at least somewhat, but I wonder if there isn’t sometimes a mirror being put before me to check on my own rush to conclusions in certain situations.

We Sisters of St. Joseph have a maxim that provides us good advice from our founder. It says: “Always interpret everything in the most favorable sense.” Maybe I should send that to the Hallmark writers…or maybe just try harder to take it to heart myself.

From Whence Comes Joy?

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joy, Meg Wheatley, Peace, perseverance, relationship, service, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, together

Here’s something to ponder that made sense to me this morning. It may take some moments of reflection but hopefully will lead to gratitude in the end.

Joy, like peace, resides only inside us. It is never manufactured by external circumstances. This is very good news, as external events, other people, and life in general become more and more harsh and difficult. But discovering what lives deep inside us, as our natural condition, requires fearless curiosity…

The potential for joy is always present in us but, like everything in life, that potential only becomes evident in relationship. We can’t analyze whether joy exists, or hope to discover it from a remote, isolated position.We have to be together. We have to be in service to one another to discover our essential goodness.

This is why people can discover joy even in the most horrific situations. They were together. (Perseverance, Margaret Wheatley, p.143)

Cousins and Friends

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baptize, cousins, family, Jesus, John the Baptist, relationship, relatives, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Today is the commemoration of the birth of John the Baptist. Tradition tells us that he and Jesus were related, probably cousins. In addition, John was an important figure in the life of Jesus. In the synoptic gospel texts (Matthew, Mark and Luke) we meet John the Baptist as the one who recognized Jesus most clearly and wanted Jesus to baptize him. Jesus convinced John, however, that he was to be baptized by John and John reluctantly acquiesced. Although somewhat rare, John’s appearances in the gospels were significant and his dedication to the ministry of Jesus was complete.

I wonder about the “in-between” times in their relationship. Did they ever play together when they were children? It seems they didn’t live in proximity to one another. Were there family visits? In adulthood, John seemed to be a renunciate, described as being in the desert and having a stringent diet – much different from our picture of Jesus. It seems likely that the baptism encounter was the first meeting of the two men – at least in their adult life – but that something in them “recognized” each other.

Having moved to another state at the age of 12 and then entered the convent at 18, in the days when there was little connection with the “outside world,” I have rare encounters with cousins but understand the connection that can endure beyond the times of physical presence. Today I plan to bring to mind each of my 17 first cousins and pray in gratitude for the ways in which they have touched my life, especially those who have become friends to me.

What’s In A Name?

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Ancient Songs Sung Anew, God's name, knowledge, Lynn Bauman, name, personal, psalm 100, relationship, relationship with God, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Psalm 100 is brief but clear and direct in how we are to be in relationship with God. The psalmist calls to us to “know that the Lord is God” and assures us that we are “the sheep of God’s flock.” We are instructed to sing joyfully, serving the Lord, giving praise and thanksgiving to the One who is good, kind and faithful to all generations. Very succinct and all-encompassing advice, we might say.

One phrase deserves special notice, I think, for our everyday lives. It not only says “Give thanks to God” but follows that clause with “bless God’s name.” Having just come from a retreat where we were introduced to the Sufi practice of chanting the 99 names of God, I was reminded of my effort to learn the names of all those on retreat. There were only 16 of us so it was obviously much easier than learning all the names of God, and since we were in silence throughout the retreat one could argue that it wasn’t as essential as in most other situations. For me, however, knowing someone’s name implies at least a beginning of relationship and is important, no matter the situation. How might this also be true with regard to our relationship with God? In his commentary on Psalm 100, Lynn Bauman seems to agree as he writes the following:

If you do not know someone’s name, what is your relationship like? When you both know the name and the person behind the name in a personal way, how does the relationship change? Pause and reflect on your own knowledge of the name of God. (Ancient Songs Sung Anew, p. 252)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Commitment

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action, covenant, inaction, psalm 50, relationship, sacrifice, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Today’s lectionary includes verses from Psalm 50 in which the psalmist expresses God’s desire for us to “step up” in our response to life, suggesting that our sacrificial offerings (bulls and goats – or for us checks and cash) are not enough. God says, “Why do you recite my statutes and profess my covenant with your mouth though you hate discipline and cast my words behind you?”

We could take offense at this and use more words to defend our actions or inactions. If I am honest and look in the mirror, I must admit to that kind of behavior at least some of the time. But then I hear verse 14 wherein God seems in need of relationship with us. “No! But this is what I want from you. Offer me grateful heart. Fulfill the vows that you have made.” It’s as if God is asking from us what each of us wants from others: the willingness to say what we mean and mean what we say – and then to live into what that means.

How can I refuse?

 

 

 

 

 

I’ll Take the Risk

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enemies, hate, judge, love, Matthew, open heart, pray, relationship, see, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Today’s gospel (MT 5:43-48) is one that can make me feel as if it would be easier to go back to sleep. Turning over and saying, “Sorry, God. Those questions are too hard for this time in the morning” seems reasonable. It never works, though, because the questions keep nagging.

• If you love those who love you, what recompense will you have?
• If you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that?

In truth, it’s easy to “hate” (too strong a word for my vocabulary these days) people that I have never met because there has been no energy exchange between us and I have no measure that has come from conversation with them. If I only know about people from what others have said, I may judge from externals rather than the depth of their hearts. I’m not saying that every person in the world is worthy of relationship but dismissing people because of hearsay is not fair. What room does that leave for conversion? Sometimes people who seem unlovable have grown that way because of never having been loved by anyone in their lives. Maybe we are called to be just what they need to see a different way to live. Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” He knew how to do it and is willing to help us, I think, if we sincerely want to move toward unconditional love.

None of this means that we need to embrace the horrific actions of criminals. What it does mean, to me, is that everyone lives in the circle of God’s love and, if we work to keep our hearts open to possibility, we may just lift up the world a tiny bit toward the good. I’m willing to give it a try.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Conversation

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closer, conversation, curious, differences, different, good listening, judgment, listen, listening, Meg Wheatley, messages, relationship, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Turning To One Another

I’m up early to greet the day with Meg Wheatley’s book, turning to one another. (Yes, the title is written in all lower case letters – most likely to emphasize the desire to have a conversation of equality.) I haven’t visited this treasure for a long time but have been trying to live with its messages nonetheless. It all seems so timely now when, day by day, so much in the world seems so fractured. I don’t know why it called to me as I turned to set my coffee on my side table. Perhaps it’s the appearance of the book itself, skinny but tall and dressed in a coat of red and yellow on its spine. Here are the two paragraphs that wouldn’t let me go this morning.

I hope you’ll begin a conversation, listening for what’s new. Listen as best you can for what’s different, for what surprises you. See if this practice helps you learn something new. Notice whether you develop a better relationship with the person you’re talking with. If you try this with several people, you might find yourself laughing in delight as you realize how many unique ways there are to be human.

We have the opportunity many times a day, everyday, to be the one who listens to others, curious rather than certain. But the greatest benefit of all is that listening moves us closer. When we listen with less judgment, we always develop better relationship with each other. It’s not differences that divide us. It’s our judgments about each other that do. Curiosity and good listening bring us back together. (p.36)

 

 

 

 

 

My Soul Is Thirsting

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calling, Cynthia Bourgeault, homecoming, mystery, paths, pilgrimage, psalm 63, relationship, resonance, spiritual journey, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, thirst, Thomas Merton

This morning the psalmist cries out: My soul is  thirsting for you, my God! The whole of Psalm 63 is a passionate expression of what it means to be on a spiritual journey and is as relevant today as it was in the lifetime of Jesus or of the Israelites in the desert. Each of us is called, as we wake up to the necessity of relationship with something greater than ourselves, to search for what slakes that thirst. Some of us “go it alone” but most find companions on the way whose desire mirrors our own.

Today I leave on what I have come to see as both pilgrimage and homecoming while 14 people, some still sleeping across our yard, have come here to go deeper in their spiritual quest. Neither is preferable; both lead us on to more meaningful living. I will be sharing this week with about 80 seekers, many my “familiars,” in the hometown of my teacher, Cynthia Bourgeault. It is worth the 12-hour drive (only half of which I will do by myself) to touch back for a week into an experience of deep resonance that has been building in me for the past dozen years. I could just as well stay home in the company of another inspired teacher whose language is not as familiar but whose depth and spiritual authority I highly respect. But I go with expectation and joy.

There is mystery in our callings toward God. This morning I celebrate the variety of paths that lead us irrevocably to conscious union. For me, today, Thomas Merton says it best.

My only desire is to give myself completely to the action of this infinite love, Who is God, Who demands to transform me into Himself secretly, darkly, in simplicity, in a way that has no drama about it and is infinitely beyond everything spectacular and astonishing, so is its significance and its power. (Entering the Silence, p.48)