Risky Business

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conscious work, disappointment, misunderstanding, personal experience, rejection, relationships, similar, social media, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, words

Sometimes words fail to express what we’re trying to convey, simply because our words are reflections of some personal experience, unique to us – or so we think. Often, however, when we take the risk to share something we are certain that no one would understand, we are shocked into a recognition of how similar we are. This is another arena in which we find that practice is the only way to grow. If we never step out of our comfort zone(s) we will likely not come to understand ourselves or others in the deepest ways possible. 

There is, of course, the possibility of misunderstanding or rejection in our willingness to open ourselves to others. It seems to me, however, that the benefits of risk in this way generally outweigh the disappointments if we take our time and pay attention to the growing edge of disclosure in our relationships. I’m not referring here to youthful experience of trial and error with the “best friends for life” that we read about now in our high school yearbooks, although some of those relationships do remain tried and true. 

In one sense it seems more difficult to maintain deep, mature relationships in this fast-paced, mobile world. Looked at another way, one could see it as easier to keep in touch if we’re willing to use the technologies that permeate our culture like Zoom, Twitter, FaceTime, etc. but that in itself is a challenge for some of us. 

I guess it’s all a question – like everything successful seems to be – of conscious work, balance and letting go…Sometimes we are pleased and sometimes disappointed but in both situations we have an opportunity to grow. At this point in my life, that is enough to know.

See For Yourself

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A Deep Breath of Life, Alan Cohen, recognize, reflection, rejection, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, willingness

I just read a paragraph for this date in Alan Cohen’s book A Deep Breath of Life. It was altogether astounding to me considering the people he was talking about. But, of course, that was his point. If you’re feeling inept or less than creative today (or any day) you might want to have these words on a small paper folded in your wallet that you can pull out and read to give you confidence in yourself.

Many great people were rejected before they became celebrities. Einstein failed mathematics; Beethoven’s violin teacher called him hopeless as a composer; the sculptor Rodin failed three times to gain admission to art school; eighteen publishers turned down Richard Bach’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull before it became a sensation; Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor for lack of ideas; several record companies rejected the Beatles before they made their first album…Remember that your destiny is determined not by chance but by choice.

An even better practice would be to spend some time in reflection on your life in conversation with God, open to the good things that God is just waiting for you to recognize about yourself. Maybe it’s the way you smile at people or the little things you notice that others might ignore – things that would make someone’s day or give them confidence and a reason to go on. Maybe it’s your willingness to do the tasks that nobody else has signed up for. Perhaps it is the loving way you treat people who need a friend. Any of those characteristics – or others that you name – would look excellent on that small piece of paper. Go on…give yourself some credit and a reason to smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mercy Within Mercy Within Mercy…

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broken heart, disdain, his mercy endures forever, Joan Chittister, justice, legalism, merciful, mercy, openness, pity, psalm 136, rejection, show mercy, The Monastic Way, The Sign of Jonas, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Merton, understanding

This morning as I read Psalm 136, I recalled that I used to find it tedious in its repetition (every other line!) of the refrain, God’s mercy endures forever. In speaking of God’s action for the Israelites, it can become a singsong recording of their history: God led them through the wilderness, for his mercy endures forever; and made their land a heritage, for his mercy endures forever…and freed us from our foes, for his mercy endures forever… It was easy in our communal prayer to lose consciousness of the meaning of what we were saying (sometimes not really praying). It was when I first heard the definition of mercy as “fierce bonding love” rather than God’s willingness to “take pity on us” that my sense of what was happening in that psalm began to take on the deeper meaning of a real and lasting relationship with a beloved people.

That reminder was enhanced by a serendipitous discovery of the January 2008 issue of The Monastic Way that I found stuck in a book next to my chair this morning. I hadn’t intended to talk about mercy this morning – desiring something that would match the intensity of feeling in our country in the wake of the hateful demonstrations of the week. When I saw Joan Chittister’s monthly reflection pamphlet, however, I knew it was the perfect theme. If we are to become a mirror of God’s work in the world, we cannot ignore the quality of mercy. Some of Sister Chittister’s daily thoughts were the following:

• We pray for mercy; we expect mercy. What we find difficult to do is to be merciful to those in need of it. Or as George Eliot says, “We hand folks over to God’s mercy, and show none ourselves.”
• The great spiritual question is not whether or not this person, this situation deserves mercy. It’s about whether or not we ourselves are capable of showing it.
• The major holy-making moment in our own lives may be when we receive the mercy we know we do not deserve. Then, we may never again substitute disdain for understanding, rejection for openness, legalism for justice. “I think perhaps it is a better world,” Helen Waddell writes, “if one has a broken heart. Then one is quick to recognize it, elsewhere.”

These “words” deserve some attention, I believe – perhaps even a little soul-searching. In summary, I offer the stated theme of this valuable reflection pamphlet printed on the cover page. It comes from Thomas Merton’s book, The Sign of Jonas, and offers what Joan Chittister calls a definition of God.

I have always overshadowed you with my mercy…Have you had sight of Me, My child? Mercy within mercy within mercy.

 

 

 

 

 

What Do You Do?

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best achievement, carpenter, Jesus, Mark, Mary, occupation, professions, rejection, resentment, siblings, stay-at-home mom, synagogue, take offense, teaching, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, who we are, who we are becoming, work

Very often in social situations the first question asked after introductions have been made is: “What do you do?” Whether we like to admit it or not, sometimes judgments are made on the basis of the answer to that question. If someone says, “I’m a Harvard economics professor,” I might think, “Uh oh, I’m out of my league!” or “Boring!” The term stay-at-home mom has gone through lots of titular transitions in the last half-century in the attempt to make staying home with children recognized as real and sometimes difficult work! We value professions over jobs which might be fine if we didn’t assign value in that way to the person doing the work.

This morning the gospel is a great example of what I’m saying. Mark set a scene (MK 6:1-6) in which Jesus goes to his hometown and teaches in the synagogue on the Sabbath. People are astonished at what he says, trying to figure out how he got to be so wise since they’re thinking (and asking!) is he not the carpenter, the son of Mary? They also mention all his siblings (men by name and women as “his sisters”) implying that none of them have achieved the wisdom that he has. If all that wasn’t judgmental enough, the gospel then says that they took offense at him. In other words, “Who does he think he is, talking to us like that?!”

We are funny creatures, rejecting what we don’t understand and resenting the person who might be able to help us if only we would allow it. And what a tragedy to prejudge someone’s interior life and goodness on what they do for a living. Don’t get me wrong; I value a job well done and the effort it takes to achieve what people do. It’s just that we are more than what we do and our best achievement is who we are and who we are becoming. Don’t you agree?