What Kind of Sacrifice?

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compassion, contrite, conversion, God, Hosea, Lent, Lord, love, mercy, penance, psalm 51, reform, sacrifice, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Sometimes I think we can get carried away doing penance during Lent. I must admit that for many years I refused to talk about the need for repentance because I thought life held enough challenge and people I knew needed nothing more to feed their poor self-esteem. I have now come, I hope, to a healthier place where admission of imperfection lives in concert with a willingness to reform. This is the message that stands out to me in the lectionary readings for today, clarifying God’s desire for us and urging us on from the very first words.

Come, let us return to the Lord, Hosea calls out. Let us know, let us strive to know the Lord; as certain as the dawn is his coming…He will come to us like the rain, like spring rain that waters the earth…Speaking for God, Hosea then announces: For it is love I desire, not sacrifice, and knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. (HOS 6:1-6)

The psalmist picks up the theme saying: Have mercy on me, O God, in your goodness; in the greatness of your compassion wipe put my offense…My sacrifice, O God, is a contrite spirit; a heart contrite and humbled, O God, you will not spurn. (PS 51)

These texts have taken up a peaceful place in my being and allow me to be confident in God’s compassionate acceptance of my honest efforts at conversion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Morning Conversation

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cleanse, forgive, gladness, Holy Spirit, justice, Lent, light, love, mercy, Nan Merrill, Peace, psalm 51, Psalms for Praying, reflection, repentance, saving grace, strength, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, weakness, wisdom of the heart

During the season of Lent it is not unusual to see part or all of Psalm 51 show up as the response to the first reading in our lectionary. It is the season when repentance for our faults is traditionally front and center and God’s mercy is a constant call. Psalm 51 is uniquely suited to those themes and appears again today for our consideration.

In keeping with yesterday’s reflection on the necessity of really listening with openness to the thoughts of others, I decided to look at what Nan Merrill’s translation added to the meaning of this psalm. Her book, Psalms for Praying, emerged from the deep reflection of silence and is decidedly softer than the traditional psalmody. I find a few of the nuances fresh and helpful for my own prayer and offer her words in prose form this morning which I hear as one side of a conversation with God from a person whose desire for right relationship is boundless.

Have mercy on me, O Gracious One, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant kindness forgive me where my thoughts and deeds have hurt others. Lead me in the paths of justice, guide my steps on paths of peace! Teach me that I may know my weaknesses, the shortcomings that bind me, the unloving ways that separate me, that keep me from recognizing your life in me; for I keep company with fear and dwell in the house of ignorance. Yet, I was brought forth in love, and love is my  birthright.

You have placed your truth in the inner being; therefore, teach me the wisdom of the heart. Forgive all that binds me in fear, that I may radiate love; cleanse me that your light might shine in me. Fill me with gladness; help me to transform weakness into strength. Look not on my past mistakes but on the aspirations of my heart. Create in me a clean heart, O Gracious One, and put a new and right spirit within me. Enfold me in the arms of love, and fill me with your Holy Spirit. Restore me in the joy of your saving grace, and encourage me with a new spirit.

Nothing You Can Do…

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Adam and Eve, compassion, Genesis, Lump, Matthew, mercy, misuse of power, psalm 51, Rob Bell, Sister Dianne Bergant CSA, temptation., The Sophia Center for Spirituality

This morning I listened to a talk about today’s lectionary readings by a noted Roman Catholic theologian and Scripture scholar, Sister Dianne Bergant, CSA. In speaking of the temptation theme in the Genesis reading (ch. 3) and in the gospel of Jesus tempted in the desert (MT 4), she said something that was a new thought for me. Have you ever considered that real temptation is a desire for a good, but not a good that we are meant to have as it may be inappropriate for what we need? I was happy she elaborated but also that I will have time today for consideration of that statement in reference to my own life. Sister Bergant spoke of the temptation in both cases being a call to misuse of power which Adam and Eve grasped for but Jesus refused. Jesus never used his power for self-aggrandizement; Adam and Eve were seduced into the choice to do so which was their downfall.

In the end, Sister Bergant tied her reflections on temptation to what she saw as the main theme for today, coming from Psalm 51: the mercy and compassion of God. When we succumb to what is not good for us and then realize our mistake, God is just waiting for us to turn again toward the love that is always reaching toward us…a love that is steadfast and compassionate. In a line from the video “Lump” by Rob Bell that I have often quoted, Bell, the father of a small boy repeats over and over, There is nothing you could ever do that could make me love you less. Surprisingly (or maybe not) that line was repeated as the conclusion of Sister Bergant’s preaching this morning. She assured listeners that God’s mercy is infinite and womb-like in its embrace as she offered what God might say as we seek to return. There is nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you.

 

 

 

 

 

Today Is the Day

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Ash Wednesday, bigheartedness, clean heart, determination, hear his voice, heart, honest intention, Joel, Matthew, motivation, psalm 51, Psalm 95, spirit, St. Paul, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, truth, whole heart

There’s an urgency running through the Scripture readings this morning that calls us to recognize this moment. It’s as if we are crouched at the starting line of a race, having registered late, maybe, but waiting for the gun to signal: “GO!” The prophet Joel starts it off with his initial words: Even now, declares the Lord. St. Paul picks up the theme telling us that now is the acceptable time and Psalm 95:8 (the gospel acclamation) chimes in with the familiar line: If today you hear God’s voice…These are the prompts that get us from “READY” to “SET” but what will start us running?

It’s all about the heart, you see. This season of Lent could be called “Forty Days of Big-heartedness.” Joel says it doesn’t matter how bad you’ve been because even now, declares the Lord, return to me with your whole heart! Rend your hearts, not your garments. (JL 2:12-13). Harden not your hearts, Psalm 95 adds. So how are we to accomplish this softening inside in order to draw closer to God?

First, we have to take stock of our lives – not necessarily an exhaustive search for what needs correction, but just an honest look in the mirror that will start us on the humble road to conversion. Then we have to ask for God’s help, as with anything we do. Psalm 51 gives us a way to start. A clean heart create for me, O God, and a steadfast spirit renew within me. Lastly, we might turn to today’s gospel for a detailed way to pray that makes concrete that humble turning that we wish to achieve. Just a few words of Jesus from the text (MT 6:1-6, 16-18) will give us the idea.

Jesus said to his disciples: Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them…When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you…do not let your left hand know what your right is doing…When you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret…When you fast…anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting…

It’s easy to get the point about honest intention, motivation and determination, i.e. working from the inside. May your Lenten journey begin today with attention to the beating of your heart for the good of all you encounter. And may the love you share during this season make you stronger in the knowledge that, in truth, it really is all about the heart.

We Remember

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9/11, fallen, glory, good, Peace, psalm 51, rebuild, sacrifice, september 11, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, vengeance, wound

Today as we mark the 15th anniversary of one of the most horrific days in our national history whose memory still resounds in conflict around the world, we would do well in honoring our fallen brethren to turn to the psalmist and pray not for retribution (which only keeps the wound of vengeance festering) but for peace of spirit in the words of Psalm 51.

Lord, lead us forth in graciousness to the city of your peace, where with the saints we’ll know your highest good, and there rebuild for us our broken walls and shattered hearts. Then everything shall be a sacrifice to you, and offered to the blazing brightness of your name, and burned forever in the glory of your everlasting gaze. (vs. 18-19)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our Job

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converted, crimes, Ezekiel, House of Israel, job description, new heart, new spirit, psalm 51, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I’m pretty well-versed in Scripture passages that call on God to make me a better person. One of the most familiar to me is Psalm 51, which I fell right into reciting this morning as I read: A clean heart create for me, O God, and a steadfast spirit renew within me…I was, however, somewhat surprised by the end of the previous reading from the prophet Ezekiel and went back to read it again after finding what I expected in Psalm 51. It sounds like a slight difference in nuance but makes a huge difference in “job description” between us and God. Here’s what it says at the end of a long commentary on the virtuous and unvirtuous in “the House of Israel”:

Turn and be converted from all your crimes, that they may be no cause of guilt for you. Cast away from you all the crimes you have committed, and make for yourself a new heart and a new spirit. (EZ 18:31)

Maybe I’m putting too much of a fine point on things but that seems a new wrinkle in the fabric of responsibility in my life. I thought we were supposed to turn from our “crimes” – large or small – and that God would be the one to create our hearts anew – a perspective consonant wit the psalmist’s view. This looks like we need to wake up to our own more participative role in becoming who we are called to be. It’s just a thought – but for me a quite powerful distinction that does not allow me to passively wait for God’s action in my life but rather to join God in the process of realizing my own deepest, most authentic self.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sackcloth and Ashes

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change of heart, clean heart, consciousness, conversion, fast, God, Jonah, Nineveh, psalm 51, renew, repentance, sackcloth, second axial age, steadfast spirit, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, violence

Today’s first reading (JON 3:1-10) tells the story of the second time God told Jonah to go to Nineveh to preach repentance. This time he went. His message was that the city – so large that “it took three days to go through it” – was going to be destroyed because of the “evil way” and violence of the inhabitants. Jonah was persuasive in delivering God’s message; it only took one day for the people to really hear him and as the key to everything: “The people believed God.” So they all began to fast and everyone put on sackcloth. The king of Nineveh was himself the model for their repentance. He “rose from his throne, laid aside his robe, covered himself with sackcloth and sat in the ashes.” Here’s what he had proclaimed throughout Nineveh:

Neither man nor beast, neither cattle nor sheep, shall taste anything; they shall not eat, nor shall they drink water. Man and beast shall be covered with sackcloth and call loudly to God; every man shall turn from his evil way and from the violence he has in hand.

The end of the story tells that God did, in fact, relent and did not destroy Nineveh. I had a moment of wondering, in the midst of visualizing the scene and hearing the din of all those people begging “loudly” for God’s forgiveness, if perhaps we should try a similar tactic to rid our world of the violence that seems to be escalating in amount and kind everywhere we see on the news. But, of course, God was perceived differently to the people then and life, it seems, was more primitive. We are supposed to be living in a time of evolution of consciousness, the so-called “second axial age” where we are called to understand that we live now with a sense that the survival of the earth and all her inhabitants is in our hands. God is certainly not absent from the picture but our actions would sometimes belie that fact. Unless God is at the center of it all, nothing works. But God is not the only responsible party; we must see ourselves as co-creators or we are doomed to blame God for our failure. That is a different concept from all the images of God that most of us grew up with but I have come to believe that this is the maturity of faith that is incumbent on us if we are to survive.

Perhaps this is the year that the magnitude of the task of “change of heart” is upon us; we can no longer go on the way we have been living. Real conversion (turning) calls for solidarity as well as individual determination. So let us look deeply to see what needs to change in ourselves and join with others to call loudly to God in the words of Psalm 51: A clean heart create for me, O God, and a steadfast spirit renew within me. Perhaps God will answer and together we and God will make it happen.

Our Lenten Journey

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40 days, Ash Wednesday, Christ's journey, consciousness, Corinthians, devotion, disciplines, God's voice, grace, harden not your hearts, humility, Joel, Lent, practices, psalm 51, St. Paul, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

For many Christians around the world, today is like another New Year’s Day. We are full of enthusiasm for making resolutions at the beginning of Lent, this season of pilgrimage dedicated to reflection on Christ’s journey toward Jerusalem that culminates in his passion, death and resurrection. Readings for this Ash Wednesday are full of instruction on how to act during these 40 days. The prophet Joel starts us off with a clarion call from God saying: Even now, says the Lord, return to me with your whole heart…Rend your heart, not your garments and return to the Lord, your God. Psalm 51 chimes in with this: A clean heart create for me, O God, and a steadfast spirit renew within me…a willing spirit sustain in me. St. Paul is his usual ardent self as he urges the Corinthians: Working together, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For He says, “In an acceptable time I have heard you and on the day of salvation I helped you. Behold, now is a very acceptable time…” The verse before the gospel is as familiar as it is instructive: If today you hear God’s voice, harden not your hearts.

Finally, all of these hints of how to act culminate in a message of Jesus that is full of true devotion, humility and mature practice for our actions and our prayer. Take care, Jesus says, not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them. (This is a good place to stop and think as it holds a great temptation sometimes. We all want to be well thought of, after all.) But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door and pray to your Father in secret…When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites…But…anoint your head and wash your face so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden…(No drama, just sincerity.)

You can see by all the ellipses that I have chosen just the snippets that serve my purpose which is to look at a deeper way to consider not just the practices that we choose as Lenten disciplines but rather at the underlying purpose of them. It is all about the heart, you see. All about our movement toward the heart of our striving, which is entrance into the heart of God. So if it is chocolate that you give up for these 40 days, do it to remind yourself each time you reach out for a piece that God is the sweetness that you truly desire. If you take a daily trek to Church, make that your inner room where you and God can be alone, in communion. Above all that we can take along on this pilgrimage, let one of our companions be a consciousness of how Jesus walked his journey in his full humanity, carrying out his mission of love and surrender to the God in whose heart he lived every moment of every day. And let us do the same, together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have Mercy On Me, O God!

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acceptance, acknowledgment, contrition, David and Bathsheba, evil, forgiveness, grace, guilt, just, personal sin, Pope Francis, psalm 51, recognition, relationship with God, repentance, Samuel, sinfulness, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Year of Mercy

Yesterday I was having a conversation about sin – not sins but sin, as in “the sin of the world” or “social sin.” It’s much easier to look at it that way, not so difficult then to exclude myself from the topic rather than talking about my personal sin and guilt. Today, however, I could not avoid such a “close encounter” in the face of the story about David and Bathsheba. (2 SM 11:1-17) David’s actions of adultery and the subsequent plotting the death of Uriah when his attempts to hide Bathsheba’s pregnancy from her husband had failed sound like a modern movie plot! This from God’s chosen one, the king of Israel, the one whose reign was to last forever through his descendants!

Most of us know our own sinfulness and try to hide our shadow side from others for fear that we would be abandoned if anyone “really knew me.” David’s story gives us opportunity for a different way to proceed. It comes in a series of steps: recognition, acknowledgment, contrition, repentance, forgiveness and finally acceptance – all of which come in his relationship with God. His waking up to the seriousness of his sin came at the death of the child born of his liaison with Bathsheba but that recognition was so deeply felt not only by the loss but also because of his great love for God and the knowledge that he had severely damaged that covenant. Thus, his sorrow matched his guilt as he sang, “I have done such evil in your sight that you are just in your sentence…Let me hear the sounds of joy and gladness; the bones you have crushed shall rejoice. Turn away your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt!” (PS 51) It is because of the depth of relationship that David could come to trust God’s forgiveness. Still cognizant of the enormity of what he had done, David was then able to accept himself and let go of his guilt to live into God’s welcoming embrace. I am confident that we are called to the same willingness in the face of our sin.

Serendipitously as I was pondering all this, my eye fell on a quote that seems apt for both this reflection and this “Year of Mercy.” Pope Francis writes that the Church is commissioned to announce the mercy of God, the beating heart of the gospel, which in its own way must penetrate the heart and mind of every person. Having received the grace and ability to acknowledge our own sins, may we be moved to extend such mercy to our companions and, yes, to our broken world.

A Clean Heart

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clearning, clutter, conscious work, housecleaning, psalm 51, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

My first thought when I woke up this morning was about cleaning my bedroom – not a shock for anyone who frequently hears me lament about the sad state of it, but today is, I think, the day to dig in and get it organized. It is Saturday after all.

I smiled when I read the beginning of the psalm text for today (51: 12-19) that said, “A clean heart create for me, O God, and a steadfast spirit renew within me.” I guess the clearing out is going to go deeper than I thought upon waking. Certainly, total cleanliness and order of the inside and out of me will not happen in the next 12 – 15 hours but I do think there is merit to reflecting on how the two go hand in hand. Clutter is clutter, whether in the mind and heart or the physical space in which I live. I am reminded of the “Wisdom Schools” I have attended where one of the daily practices was conscious work – paying attention to an inner task (breathing, “Where are your feet?” or some such focus) while also doing an outer task (painting a table, raking leaves, hammering a nail…). So today as I rifle through piles of paper to shred and decide which books really would be of more help in a library or when I dust, I will try to penetrate those interior nooks and crannies of my soul for stuff that has been hiding in the shadows and needs to come into the light in order to be let go. Then maybe tomorrow I will feel lighter and steadfast in my resolve to “clean up my act” on a daily basis so God can easily walk around my bedroom and in the spacious chambers of my heart.