God Calling

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Ancient Songs Sung Anew, calling, Eli, God, Here I am Lord, law of life, name, Psalm 40, Samuel, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

One of my friends calls me Valerie. Urban legend has it that my mother wanted that to be my name but that she was convinced otherwise. It was probably the same dramatic flair in her that desired to call my sister “Heather Angel” which I’m told was the name of an actress back in the day. I smile now when that image of my mother bubbles up. She had her own delightful story of being named Mary Frances but always being called May. Her birthday was May first and the story goes that she was put in a May basket when she was born. I don’t really know what that means specifically (and never asked!) but I envision ribbons and flowers surrounding her sweet self as she greeted the world.

All this palaver about names derives from Samuel’s confusion about who was calling him out of sleep in the first reading from today’s lectionary. (1 SM 15:16-23) He thought it was his mentor, Eli, when it was really a deeper, inner call that he was hearing. Still a small boy, he didn’t yet understand the call of God in his life but was obedient to the directive of Eli who finally got the message of what was happening. So little Samuel began to respond when he heard his name – most likely before he had any idea of the meaning for his life – with the unconditional declarative statement: Here I am, Lord!

We are called by name in formal and informal ways during our lives. When in a situation of a roll-call vote, there is a sense of weightiness, of “putting your life on the line” for what you believe and are willing to stand up for. Additionally, when someone uses my name in a sentence (as in: “Can you see, Lois, the importance of this issue?”) I tend to wake up a bit more to what they’re asking. Thus, living into our names means living into truth and to deep listening for God’s word in our lives. Psalm 40 says it clearly to me today in the following translation.

For even in the scroll of Torah, the book you wrote, it is said that I should simply do your will. That is it, your whole desire, which has now become my soul’s delight. So from my heart I keep your ways, your law of life. (Ancient Songs Sung Anew, p. 99)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Crowds

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Ancient Songs Sung Anew, crowds, inauguration, Jesus, march, Million Woman March, peaceful change, Psalm 40, temper, tension, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, violence

I just read the gospel this morning with the directive from Jesus to his disciples about getting a boat from which he could preach on the water so he would not be crushed by the crowds. It put me in mind of the two events happening tomorrow and Saturday in Washington, DC. Although all reports say that the crowd at the Presidential Inauguration will be “smaller than usual” that still means a huge turnout. And Saturday will see the “Million Woman March” – not only in Washington but at other centers around the country. The followers of Jesus could never have conceived of the crowds we will surely see during these days.

Even in the time of Jesus, large crowds have always held the potential for tension and the need for crowd control, especially in situations where there are supporters and opponents of the reason for the gathering. When people are being jostled and “personal space” is non-existent or when chanting becomes a shouting match by the different factions present, tempers can flare and the danger of violence grows.

My prayer this morning is that all of the participants in the weekend events will remember the privilege we have of living in this country and that peaceful change is possible if cooperation is based on higher purpose. Whatever our political leanings, may we be guided by the reminders in the prayer of the psalmist this morning.

O Lord, my God, all that you do is marked with good, and all the things you have in mind for us are incomparable. O that I could speak it for everyone to hear and know, but it is vast and overwhelms the soul. Yet I know this, for you have made my inner ear to hear, that it is never bloody sacrifices that we burn for sins you want or need from us. For even in the scroll of Torah, the book you wrote, it is said that I should simply do your will. That is it, your whole desire which has now become my soul’s delight. So from my heart I keep your ways, your law of life. (PS 40: 6-10) Ancient Songs Sung Anew

 

 

 

 

 

Perspective

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basic principle, experience, good, hear, heavenly, incomparable, love, opinion, perspective, Psalm 40, reflection, see, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Reading Psalm 40 this morning led me to the dictionary for some definitions of the word perspective. After the basic ideas, there were some interesting and even funny examples of the word in context, like: From their different perspectives, the scientists and musician both agree on music’s emotional power, and It took me awhile to put the housewives’ rebellion into perspective. I remember when I first realized a very important truth about perspective in one of its definitions. Sitting directly across from someone in a group having a conversation, I recognized that it was totally impossible for that person to see what I could see (physically) because we do not have eyes in the back of our heads (although many Catholic children thought the nuns that taught them in school were exceptions to that rule!). Because we do not have 360 degree swivel ability, we can only see just so far around us without turning our heads.

This truth about perspective has helped me when I am astounded or appalled that someone with whom I am speaking disagrees with what I’m saying. “How could he think that way?” I ask myself, or “Can’t she see the flaw in that opinion?” The difficulty is that when we move from the practical, physical definition to the intellectual, philosophical arena, there is a much more complex process of apprehension going on. I have come to the conclusion that in order to avoid distress it’s better to stay in the realm of “he just can’t see it” than to try to convince someone of something I see as simple truth.

Here’s what started all the ruckus in my brain this morning: O Lord, all that you do is marked with good, and all the things that you have in mind for us are incomparable. O that I could speak it all for everyone to hear and know, but it is vast and overwhelms the soul. Yet I know this, for you have made my inner ear to hear, that it is never bloody sacrifices we burn for sins you want or need from us. For even in the scroll of Torah, the book you wrote, it is said that I should simply do your will. That is it, your whole desire, which has now become my soul’s delight. So from my heart I keep your ways, your law of life. (Ps 40:7-10)

My perspective on life with God is that if I do my best to do my best God is satisfied, actually overjoyed, with that and doesn’t require anything more than my love. Some would say that perspective is a cop out, as in: What ever happened to “Be ye perfect as your heavenly father is perfect?” Atonement looms large in that perspective. For me, God’s “law of life” is love and that is the perspective from which I view everything. Our socialization and education contribute so much to our perspectives on things; it takes personal experience and reflection on that experience for things to start to shift. It’s all very complicated…so I try to keep that first basic principle in mind (the impossibility of you seeing exactly what I see unless you are standing beside me – or, more precisely, in my skin) and always move from the perspective of love. Not easy, maybe flawed, but more and more often, it works for me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Heed the Call!

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alarm, delight, Eli, God's will, greet the day, listen, Psalm 40, Samuel, sleep, Speak Lord, Thanksgiving, the call of God, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, wakefulness

This morning I woke at 4:40am, much too early to begin the day. I snuggled back in but at 5:50 I opened my eyes a second time. I blamed this interruption of my sleep on the fact that in New York it was already nearly 7AM and settled back to wait until 6:30CST for my alarm. Five minutes later I heard the small sound alerting me that I had a text message on my phone and I knew I had a choice of how this day would proceed. With less than great gusto but with determination I got up from my bed saying to myself, “I greet this day with thanksgiving for all it will hold for me.”

God does have a sense of humor! As I began to read the Scriptures for the day, I recognized immediately the familiar story of the boy, Samuel, who sleeping in the temple near his teacher, Eli, wakes to the sound of his name being called. He goes to Eli and says, “Here I am; you called me.” Eli tells him to go back to bed because he hasn’t called him. When the scene is repeated twice more, Eli is finally awake enough to say to Samuel, “When you are called, say ‘Speak Lord, your servant is listening'”  because he knew that it was God calling Samuel. (SM 3:1-10)

Whether we hear the call of God in our sleep or during morning Scripture reading or in the circumstances of an ordinary day, Samuel’s willingness gives us a good example of how to respond. Psalm 40 adds an even more generous note to the message this morning as the psalmist sings, “To do your will, O my God, is my delight!” May you be blessed with a delightful day of wakefulness in God’s love.

My Delight

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attitude, delight, do your will, God's will, Here I am Lord, Psalm 40, purpose, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Sometimes life depends a lot on attitude. Often when “bad things” happen people are heard to say, “It’s God’s will.” Rarely have I heard anyone proclaim that it is God’s will when they are steeped in unbounded joy. To be fair, we tend to use other ways to express God’s presence in our lives at those times, saying things like “God has been good to me.” I wonder, though, if it would make a difference, even slightly, if we sang with the psalmist, “To do your will, O my God, is my delight and your law is in my heart!” (Ps. 40) And what if we woke up every morning with today’s psalm refrain on our lips: “Here I am Lord; I come to do your will.” For me, that line has a feeling of happy urgency, as if I am running toward God because I can’t wait to serve whatever purpose it is God is asking because it gives me such joy. I might even make a sign for the inside of my bedroom door with that line printed on it so it accompanies me each morning to the coffee pot. Can’t hurt – might help!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here I Am!

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Eli, Here I am Lord, monasticism, prayer, Psalm 40, Samuel, St. Bernard of Clairvaux, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

It was always a great feeling in a game of hide-and-seek to get to the point where the seeker gave up and called us in because we had been so successful in hiding. “Here I am!” in that case was a triumphant exclamation – rare in our neighborhood of expert searchers who knew all the best places to hide.

“Here I am!” in the Scriptures first appears as response of a child (Samuel) to what he thought was a call from his teacher (Eli) but really was God calling. The response appears again today but with an “add-on” as the refrain from Psalm 40 where we hear the psalmist proclaim: Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will. Neither Samuel nor the psalmist is hiding. They are both presenting themselves – quite eagerly it seems – for whatever task they are called to perform.

Today our Church celebrates the feast of St. Bernard of Clairvaux, a monastic who accomplished great things both for monasticism and in the world of his time (the 12th century). After a recounting of his many achievements in a short biography there is a telling sentence that reads, “Yet …he still retained a burning desire to return to the hidden monastic life of his younger days.” I found that not only admirable but instructive. His dedication to prayer in the midst of all that he was doing in God’s service was most likely the only reason that he knew what to do in any case.

So it is with us. If we have been hiding, it might be time to show ourselves and be “caught” for God’s purpose. If we have been willing, perhaps we need deeper listening in the silence to discern what to do or who to be. If we are already solidly placed in God’s service, today is a day to sing with the psalmist, To do your will, O my God, is my delight, and your law is within my heart! (PS 40:9)

Delighted!

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aligning our will to God's, automatic, delight, delightful, Here I am Lord, Psalm 40, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

The Psalm refrain (PS 40) for this morning is a familiar one to me. After 48 years of presenting myself saying, “Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will” it sometimes becomes an automatic statement. Therein lies the danger. That is not a statement to be taken lightly and I was reminded – rather jarred a bit out of the complacency of it – by another line that was a partial repetition but shifts the mood quite a bit. “To do your will, O my God,” the psalmist sings, “is my delight!” There are mornings (probably for all of us) when nothing feels delightful even if everything seems necessary. Those are the days when aligning ourselves – our will – to God’s is only possible by conscious attention. No casual repetition will do. What is necessary is the remembrance of the God who delights in so many ways. It may take a little silence, a digging deeper into gratitude, or perhaps hitting the snooze button on the alarm in order to get there. But the reward is sometimes surprising and delightful!

Are You Listening?

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agency, Andrew, Eli, Here I am Lord, John the Baptist, Lamb of God, looking, Peter, Psalm 40, readiness, Samuel, Simon, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Although the readings in the early days of this new year often center around the theme of call, there is a fair amount of diversity in the specifics – and, on Sundays, emphasis from the Hebrew Scriptures as well. This morning we read one of my favorite texts from the First Book of Samuel (1 SAM 3) which could be performed as a short comedy sketch. Samuel is a child living in the temple under the tutelage of Eli when he hears God call his name in the night. This being his first such experience he thinks Eli is calling so he runs to him and says, “Here I am. You called me.” Eli, probably a bit groggy from sleep, says to him, “I didn’t call you. Go back to sleep.” This happens again, not once but twice and it is only the third time that Eli realizes that it is God calling Samuel.  He then directs Samuel that when he hears God calling he is to say, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”

The move from Samuel to the Gospel of John is punctuated by Psalm 40 which fairly shouts: I have waited, waited for the Lord and he stooped toward me and heard my cry. He put a new song in my mouth! Then we see John the Baptist standing – as if waiting – with two of his disciples as Jesus walks by. He is recorded as saying, “Behold the Lamb of God.” Immediately the disciples leave John and follow Jesus. John does nothing to stop them as he knows that his role is herald. When Jesus turns around and sees them he asks, “What are you looking for?” They counter with the question: “Where are you staying?” “Come and you will see,” he says and, amazingly, they do. One is Andrew who goes and tells his brother, Simon, of the experience and brings him to Jesus as well.

Setting these scenes in such detail might seem a bit much but I think necessary to illustrate two things about call: readiness and agency. How ready are we at any moment to respond to God’s call in whatever form it comes to us? Secondly, are we willing to hear messages from others that may move us to such a response? Eli, John the Baptist, Jesus himself and then Andrew were instrumental in the movement of Samuel, Andrew and Peter toward God. Today seems a good day to reflect on our own readiness and then to thank God for those in our lives who have been catalysts on our path to “Here I am, Lord!”

Say Yes

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Annunciation, Blessed Mother, David, Israel, Luke, Mary of Nazareth, Messiah, Psalm 40, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

On this feast of the Annunciation, the day when Mary of Nazareth consented to be the mother of the Christ, the Scripture readings are focused on assent to what God asks of us. Clearly the sacrifices of old are not enough. God is asking for our very selves. Psalm 40 repeats the refrain, Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will. The psalmist knows that God doesn’t wish “sacrifices or oblations, holocausts or sin offerings,” and so offers himself saying, Behold I come! To do your will, O my God, is my delight! Perhaps Mary was reminded of those words in the startling, incredible event of her encounter with God’s messenger who told her she had been chosen to be the mother of the long-awaited Messiah. The notion of the Messiah that Israel had been waiting for would have given her absolutely no sense that she was in the running for that honor! Why would God choose a lowly teenager from a small town to birth the one who was to restore the throne of David? It could only have been her recognition that this was no self-created illusion but rather a true call from God that made her say yes.

Long ago, I read an alternate translation of Mary’s response that most of us know as “Be it done unto me according to your word.” (LK 1:38) That translation spoke more to me of the strength of Mary’s trust in God and her relationship, even at her young age, with the God that was her guiding principle for life. I treasure the translation and, when I am challenged with a path I would rather not walk or a task I would rather not perform, I think of it and try to live up to Mary’s example. I offer it as my reflection for today.

Mary said, “I belong to the Lord, body and soul. Let it happen as you say!”