View From the Mirror

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compassion, forgive, forgiven, grateful, hide, honest, imperfections, injustice, kindness, look honestly, love, merciful, mirror, pray, self-esteem, Sirach, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I remember my sister saying once long ago during a visit to our motherhouse that you could tell you were in a convent because there were no mirrors anywhere! I suppose that, if often true, that had two purposes: 1. to keep the Sisters from the vanity of wasting time gazing at themselves, and 2. since there was no hair or make-up to be concerned about because our habits covered almost every inch of the body and getting dressed was a quick, rote exercise. Now, because we do not have the “luxury” of such a simple and universal couture, mirrors are a part of household furnishing in most religious houses.

I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking on the value of this change but I do think there is a benefit, again for two reasons. 1. I have a friend who used to begin her workshops on self-esteem by asking how many people in the audience looked in the mirror while they’re brushing their teeth or their hair and say, “What a woman!” (or “Hello, handsome!”) People used to laugh at that, but her point was made because rarely did anyone admit to a positive response to her question. We need to see ourselves as God sees us: marvels of creation – and be grateful. 2. On the other hand, while we’re looking in that mirror we ought to try each day to be totally honest with ourselves and God about our imperfections. What we try to hide from other people should be frankly looked at in that mirror, again with the realization that God is looking back at us with love. Tender mercy and forgiveness are always there if we are willing to look honestly at ourselves.

The readings in today’s lectionary are all about God’s mercy and forgiveness. The Book of Sirach says this: Forgive your neighbor’s injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven and Could anyone refuse mercy to another like himself…? The Letter to the Romans speaks of how we live and die for the Lord. In so doing, therefore, it stands to reason that we ought to act like the Lord. In the gospel we have Peter trying to figure out how many times we are asked to forgive those who have wronged us and Jesus disappointing him perhaps with the answer: 70 X 7 times – which we know means “every time.”

All those words we know, but do we allow them to live within us so that we don’t become frustrated when we fail in the love we know we owe to others? The most comforting of all the quotes today (perhaps because I hear it put to music sung often in my church) is the psalm response. It sings in me, The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in kindness (or rich in compassion, depending on your translation). Try looking in the mirror, even in your darkest days, and say that line aloud. Can you possibly resist a promise of forgiveness like that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Face In the Mirror

Tags

Black Friday, defend, face, God, healing, mirror, prayer, psalm 84, smile, Thanksgiving, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Psalm 84 is a wonderful reminder of God’s care. It’s the one that tells us that even a swallow finds a home in God’s house. Today as I was reading one of my favorite translations of the psalm, I was stopped at verses 7 and 8. Here’s what they said:

Lord God of everything that is, God of my heart, listen to this humble prayer. Defend me now by simply looking at my face. Your look will be for me a healing oil that covers all.

Reading that, I thought of two things I have often heard from a friend whose motivational workshops often included two things, one a statement and the other a question. People need to get in touch with their faces, she says. I used to think of that on the rare occasions when I preached at liturgy. Looking out on the sea of faces in front of me, I was often tempted to shout out, “WAKE UP!” or “SMILE!” (We are very serious or sometimes readying ourselves for the “same old same old” there.) Her question was more direct. When you get up in the morning and look in the mirror to comb your hair or while brushing your teeth, she asks, how many of you smile and say, “What a woman (or guy)!” The audience usually laughs (I know; I’ve tried it.) and then she asks why that sounds funny. We really need to do a better job accepting the image of ourselves that we see in the mirror. We should try to look as if it were God looking back at us. If that is scary, then it’s time to re-read psalm 84 aloud to ourselves and re-assess our image of God.

We just celebrated Thanksgiving and I wonder how many of our reasons for giving thanks included gratitude for ourselves – for who we have become and are becoming. Black Friday is in full-swing by now. Maybe we should buy a little willingness to accept the joy of God’s face looking back at us from the mirror.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Truth About Ourselves

Tags

bitterness, compliment, flaws, foibles, gift, hope, humility, love, Macrina Wiederkehr, mirror, nonviolent heart, Peace, self-esteem, seven sacred pauses, strength, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, The Truth, transform, truth

I often spend time encouraging people to recognize and celebrate what is good about themselves because I find so many of us focusing mainly on our flaws and foibles. In workshops and retreats I have been known to give a piece of advice learned from a friend long ago. She tells groups of women (and sometimes men) to look in the mirror every morning and say, “What a woman!” (“What a guy!”) When I say that the whole room laughs and only once did someone admit practicing something like that compliment! When the laughter subsides, I ask why that was their response and what it says about our self-esteem. If humility is truth, we should be able to give ourselves a compliment without discomfort as long as we credit God for the provenance of the gifts we possess. Our reticence most likely comes from all those influences from childhood that encouraged us to be seen and not heard and never, never to brag. “All in moderation” and “Consider the Source” might have been more helpful.

Having said all this, I was interested in the tiny bit of squeamishness that arose in me as I read Macrina Wiederkehr’s reflection this morning called The Truth. As you do the same, consider your reaction.

I will believe the truth about myself no matter how beautiful it is. I believe in my power to transform indifference into love. I believe I have an amazing gift to keep hope alive in the face of despair. I believe I have the remarkable skill of deleting bitterness from my life. I believe in my budding potential to live with a nonviolent heart. I believe in my passion to speak the truth even when it isn’t popular. I believe I have the strength of will to be peace in a world of violence. I believe in my miraculous capacity for unconditional love. I will believe the truth about myself no matter how beautiful it is.  (Seven Sacred Pauses, p. 109)

Perhaps we would do well to create our own list of beautiful truths. Some of us may have to start small; Macrina must’ve spent a long time developing her list. But if you dug deep and kept looking in that mirror, (honestly try now) what would your list include?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Clare of Assisi

Tags

contemplation, focus on God, God's mirror, humility, kindness, mirror, poverty, St. Clare, st. francis, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, virtue

It’s late afternoon here in the Northeast of the USA and I might normally skip the daily blog post on a day this far spent but today is the feast of St. Clare and I want to say a word (or more) about her.

Clare was only 15 years old when she escaped her home against her parents’ will and begged Francis of Assisi to accept her as a member of his small band of itinerant monks. Clare’s parents dragged her away, locking her in the house, but she was having none of it. She sneaked out under cover of darkness, went to Francis and made him cut off her beautiful hair as a symbol of her desire to renounce all worldly things to serve God.

The stories of Francis and Clare have been romanticized in movies and books, but the reality is that Francis installed Clare in the church of San Damiano where she remained all her life and saw him rarely. After her first “falling in love with God” years, life for her was very circumscribed, daily and desperately poor. She rarely left San Damiano; her living was in every moment and her focus was on God. Here is what she says:

Happy is the person who clings with all her heart to our Lord and shares in God’s sacred banquet. God is the one whose kindness electrifies, whose contemplation refreshes, whose love satisfies, whose joy replenishes, whose celebration illuminates the world, whose fragrance resurrects the dead, whose splendid vision blesses, whose eternal glory shines, whose everlasting light burns brightest, whose mirror reflects all things flawlessly.

One could spend a very long time reflecting on those phrases. Clare spent almost 45 years doing so in quiet contemplation and communal prayer with her Sisters in community. In her later years she was visited by all manner of people, including bishops and other high officials who sought her counsel. For almost 800 years her simple message has endured and her advice to us speaks again of God’s Mirror: Look into that mirror each and every day. Study your face in it forever. Then you will put on the most beautiful clothes and wear them and every one of virtue’s flowers, because happy poverty, holy humility and indescribable kindness are reflected in that Mirror as you contemplate them there. 

 

Measurements

Tags

critical, discerning, faults, hyper-critical, Jesus, judge people, Matthew, measure, mirror, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Somewhere in my possessions I know I have a 25′ tape measure. I come across it on occasion when I’m looking for something else but I usually can’t find it when I need it. If I’m trying to measure the size of something in my bedroom I often resort to using a sheet of paper since I know it is 8 1/2 X 11 inches. That works less well if what I need to know about is very small or very large and is only exact if the space I need is exactly consonant with the size of the paper so I don’t have to rely on holding my finger in the exact position of the edge as I move the paper with my other hand. It would be so much easier if I could find my measuring tape.

In today’s gospel Jesus is challenging our tendency to judge people and the indication is that we should stop doing it in any case, mostly because we tend to do it haphazardly or without any sort of evidence to back us up. (MT 7:1-5) He’s basically telling us to look in the mirror of truth to see our imperfections (the wooden beam in our own eye) before we go about pointing out those (splinters) of each other.

Our culture has taught us to be hyper-critical, I think, and some of us – myself included – have learned the lesson well. While it is true that we need to be discerning about our choices in our own lives, judging other people on surface evidence (or any evidence at all!) for any reason goes against everything we know of the teachings of Jesus. I’ll think of that today as I try to get a correct answer for whether or not a new computer stand will fit in the corner of my bedroom while I hear Jesus say: The measure with which you measure will be measured out to you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of Beams and Splinters

Tags

beam, change the world, contemplative listening, conversation, discussion, Jesus, listening, Luke, mirror, splinter, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Sometimes Jesus seems to exaggerate to make a point. This morning we have a familiar example that seems to stretch that tendency beyond any other. Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, he says, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own? (LK 6:39-42) Even the least schooled person could not miss the impossibility of that scenario but the truth underneath the words is frequently ignored. I may see, with what I think is totally accurate clarity, the truth of my own argument and then, in a discussion with a colleague, hear a totally opposite position that is just as clearly presented and stridently held. We have only to look to American politics as we gear up for a presidential election to see good examples of this situation. Often we are so convinced of our own ideas that we jump into a conversation before the person speaking has finished a thought. We haven’t the time or willingness to consider the value of another person’s argument. Neither are we willing to let go of our own need to be right.

I just spent three days at a meeting in California listening intently to the conversations of eight women from around the world. We needed to speak a bit more slowly as everything was being translated simultaneously into Spanish; this was very helpful actually. We needed to listen carefully to all gathered and measure our words before speaking as we had committed ourselves to contemplative listening. Allowing space to let the words and their intention enter our minds and hearts was a freeing experience and one that produced more fruit than could have been achieved in a much longer time frame. There was a fair amount of letting go in that room but it wasn’t difficult because of our desire to move toward unity and the common good.

Today seems a good day to look in the mirror – first for splinters in our eyes and then perhaps for the bigger things that cloud our vision. That willingness could be a beginning practice that might just change the world.

The Passion of the Prophet

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courage, Herod, Jesus, Mark, mirror, no greater prophet ever lived, Passion, speak truth to power, St. John the Baptist, suffering, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Today my Church calendar is titled “Memorial of the Passion of St. John the Baptist.” I believe the word passion here is used in two ways – primarily because John was innocent of any crime but prefigured the passion of Jesus by his suffering and death at the hands of his enemies. John was thrown in prison and subsequently beheaded for his willingness to speak truth to power, specifically in telling Herod it was unlawful for him to have his brother’s wife, Herodias (who then was the agent of his death in a scheme that Herod was too weak to resist – MK 6:17-29). Clearly John’s death was consistent with his life. He bursts onto the scene early in the gospels, coming from the desert clothed in animal skins and feeding on locusts and wild honey. His whole purpose, his passion, was to proclaim Jesus as “the one sent from God.” Jesus recognized him by saying that no greater prophet ever lived; he earned that title by being totally authentic in his entire life.

We also read in Scripture that a prophet is not generally accepted in his native place. The world still persecuting those who arise to call us to a more honest and truthful life. Our prophets are those who hold up a mirror, showing us what needs to be converted in society, and sometimes we fail to listen because transformation seems too difficult (“What can one person do?”) or we are too comfortable or too busy to be concerned. Today is a day to think about our willingness to change and not to dismiss the voices we hear calling us to more responsibility in our living. My question to myself is about the level of my passion for justice and my compassion for those who are suffering in my world. What am I called to do or be for them? What will it cost me? Where is my courage for speaking the truth?

The Face in the Mirror

Tags

beloved, doer, God, hearer, letter of james, mirror, serve, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I have a friend who used to do workshops for women wherein she would ask the question: “How many of you get up in the morning, look in your mirror, smile and say, ‘What a woman!'” I’ve used that line (with obvious changes if there are men in the room) and the first reaction is usually hearty laughter. If pushed to really answer the question, there’s rarely more than one or two people who admit of the practice or even the possibility that they might be able to say those words about themselves.

This morning’s reading from the Letter of James reminded me of this sad commentary on our self-esteem. But James is getting at something different, albeit related, in what he says. Never one to mince words, James is talking about daily behavior when he says that “everyone should be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger…[and] humbly welcome the word that has been planted in you…” Then comes the relevant paragraph.

Be doers of the word and not hearers only, deluding yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his own face in a mirror. He sees himself, then goes off and promptly forgets what he looked like. But the one who peers into the perfect law of freedom and perseveres, and is not a hearer who forgets but a doer who acts; such a one shall be blessed in what he does. (The lack of inclusive language here only proves the point more forcefully, were this a contemporary text!)

Truly knowing ourselves as beloved of God, we are enabled to look deeply into the inner mirror of ourselves, accepting what we find there. In that way, we do not forget our call to live what we have accepted, knowing also that each person’s face reflects God’s love in some way and is worthy of our care. Thus we will act on this knowledge, never forgetting our call to serve.