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closer, conversation, curious, differences, different, good listening, judgment, listen, listening, Meg Wheatley, messages, relationship, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Turning To One Another
I’m up early to greet the day with Meg Wheatley’s book, turning to one another. (Yes, the title is written in all lower case letters – most likely to emphasize the desire to have a conversation of equality.) I haven’t visited this treasure for a long time but have been trying to live with its messages nonetheless. It all seems so timely now when, day by day, so much in the world seems so fractured. I don’t know why it called to me as I turned to set my coffee on my side table. Perhaps it’s the appearance of the book itself, skinny but tall and dressed in a coat of red and yellow on its spine. Here are the two paragraphs that wouldn’t let me go this morning.
I hope you’ll begin a conversation, listening for what’s new. Listen as best you can for what’s different, for what surprises you. See if this practice helps you learn something new. Notice whether you develop a better relationship with the person you’re talking with. If you try this with several people, you might find yourself laughing in delight as you realize how many unique ways there are to be human.
We have the opportunity many times a day, everyday, to be the one who listens to others, curious rather than certain. But the greatest benefit of all is that listening moves us closer. When we listen with less judgment, we always develop better relationship with each other. It’s not differences that divide us. It’s our judgments about each other that do. Curiosity and good listening bring us back together. (p.36)
Looking out and seeing one more snowfall in this third quadrant of the month that is supposed to bring us May flowers, I once more reached for the book called Perseverance for an encouraging word. (Meg Wheatley is good at providing solace in down-to-earth terms when everything looks bleak.) I shouldn’t complain; look at the destruction on the beautiful Hawaiian island of Kauai and other serious weather disasters around the world. And that’s just the beginning of what people are enduring in their lives.
The beginning of the Letter of James says this today:
There is so much to say about Martin Luther King, Jr. He was a “wake-up call” to our nation like no other, shaking us to the roots of our passivity in the 1960’s, and he paid the ultimate price for his courage. His own words still stir me when I hear his clear, booming voice proclaiming: I have a dream today…
I had a conversation recently with someone who had received word that an old friend had died. They had lost touch some years ago, primarily perhaps because this younger woman was not able to allow what she saw as competition for the “best friend” designation in the relationship. We spoke of the sad and destructive power of jealousy. I was reminded of the conversation this morning by Meg Wheatley as I opened to a page on the subject of jealousy from her book, Perseverance. I thought it a worthy topic for reflection since the subtlety of its appearance can cause great harm if we don’t pay attention to our feelings and recognize the need to cultivate its opposite: generosity. Here’s what she says:
Every once in awhile I ask myself if writing this blog is still worth the time and energy it takes to do it. At those times – and in between as well – I look at the statistics. Yes, I can tell how many people read what I write each day and once in awhile someone leaves a comment about what s/he has read. In addition, there is a way to ascertain where readers live – by country. That is the most amazing part of this endeavor as it shows me the reach of the “worldwide web.” Who would have thought that someone in Norway and/or Azerbaijan would be reading my simple morning musings! I generally remain unfazed by all of this information but occasionally realize I am worrying when the bar graph shows a dip or the number on the blog page says someone stopped “following.” Those are the moments when I usually hear gratitude from someone – especially someone I don’t know – who leaves a supportive comment and I breathe a sigh of relief.
On days like today when we have been once again faced with senseless, unspeakable violence, this time on a scale not seen before in our history, it is difficult to even begin to speak of it. My first thought this morning was of a line from Scripture: A voice is heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more. (JER 31:15) As we turn in prayer toward the people of Las Vegas – for that seems the only thing to do as the tally of dead and wounded continues to rise – we must lament, as individuals and as a nation. And in the face of the distress in this dawning day, I turn to Meg Wheatley for a way to persevere.
Today I am conscious – maybe just because it’s Monday – of the need to be aware of what surrounds me as I live today. There are already so many reminders and it isn’t yet 7:00AM!
Thinking about the situation of those in the path today of Hurricane Maria, people who will be blasted for the second time in two weeks by devastation, I picked up Meg Wheatley’s book, Perseverance, since there is nothing I can say of any relevance on my own. What I found was a quote from a 14th century Japanese Samurai Warrior. It was not what I was looking for but did make me think. What if it seemed I had lost everything? I mused. What would be left that would make me refuse to lie down and die? The answer focused on inner strength and so I repeat it here as a hope for those whose lives seem empty at this moment and a way to consider hope when all outer hope is gone.
This morning I read Meg Wheatley’s reflection on the word steadfastness. I was trying to find something to redeem my world from all the racist experiences I heard about or saw on the national news yesterday. All the care of neighbor for neighbor that was imaged over the past week in Texas with no reference to preferred status for rescue seemed washed away in the same kind of horrific visuals and speech that were manifested during the recent incident at Charlottesville. I have no place inside me to find comprehension of such division and prejudice. I thought we had come farther on the road to acceptance of diversity. The question before me this morning is whether or not I will stand up and use my voice in situations that call out prejudice of the kind that I thought had been conquered. Meg Wheatley calls me to a challenge.