How to Proceed…

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action, Meg Wheatley, pandemic, perseverance, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, thought

Today the reality of the word “PANDEMIC” has reached my consciousness in a way that calls for some decision-making about the immediate future, especially about work and travel. For help with that task I turn to Meg Wheatley to see if her book, Perseverance, can lead me in the search for rational thought and action. Here is–in part–what I found.

Being in not-knowing, open and aware, is how we discover right action — the appropriate means for what needs to happen. Right action usually doesn’t match our plans, conceived as they were from the outside. But now that we’re inside the situation, curious and uncertain, we’re able to notice what’s here…If we take this approach, in every situation, we discover that the resources we need are already here. We have more than enough to work with. It’s our task to notice this abundance, and then figure out how to work with it appropriately…The situation, no matter how difficult, doesn’t need to be different. We just need to see it differently. (p. 101)

Reflect on this. Pay attention and stay safe out there.

Choosing

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choice, choosing, decision, Meg Wheatley, questions, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Saturday proved to be a great example of flexibility for the Sisters of St. Joseph here at our assembly. After having spent several hours at different times preparing for our 2-day meeting and thinking the agenda was all in place, we were thrown a significant but necessary curve that could have derailed the entire timeline. But it didn’t!

After some quick thinking in two brief meetings, a way forward was determined and smooth sailing was assured. I was reminded of that this morning as I read a reflection from Meg Wheatley called “Choosing.” She says, in part:

“These critical questions require a momentary pause, a little reflection. Rather than just striking out or being reactive to a bad day, we offer ourselves freedom…we’re not trapped by circumstances or fatigue. We give ourselves a moment to look as clearly as we can at the current situation. And then we make a conscious choice. Every day.” (Perseverance, p.59)

So step back a pace or two, if necessary, take a deep breath to recognize what benefit there might be in openness, smile and then go forward into the freedom of your day. See if it doesn’t surprise you with a good outcome.

Perseverance

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James, Meg Wheatley, patience, perseverance, persistence, steadfast, tenacity, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

In today’s lectionary readings, we have a section from the beginning of the letter of the apostle James, (ch. 1: 1-11) that speaks of perseverance. It’s a good reminder in these troubled times. What are we to do with our distress and uncertainty? The advice of James is similar to the book of Meg Wheatley entitled simply Perseverance, a book that is filled with helpful thoughts and encouragement. I offer her introductory statements and questions today as the kind of reflection that can keep us on a course of hope. See what you think.

The word “perseverance” in Latin means, “one who sees through to the end,” “one who doesn’t yield.” In English, it describes how we maintain our activity in spite of difficulties. Tenacity, steadfastness, persistence, doggedness — these are all common synonyms.

In Chinese, the character for perseverance is often the same as the one used for patience.

Human experience is the story of perseverance. Throughout space and time, humans have always persevered. We wouldn’t be here without them.

Think of all the people you know — family, friends, strangers — who have just kept going, who didn’t yield, who were tenacious, steadfast, patient.

How would you describe them? What were some of their traits? Their capacities? What was it like to be around them, to listen to their stories?

At the end of their lives, how were they?

Angry? Contented? Cynical? Peaceful?

What do their lives offer you as lessons on how to persevere?

What do we all need to learn from them now?

Bad News/Good News

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blame, criticism, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, praise, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

The news today continues to be astoundingly distressing for our country. From confusion and distress about the Iowa caucuses with the “electronic advances” that didn’t work to the vitriol being spewed in public by our political “leaders,” one wonders where we are going as a nation. It’s difficult to speak except in one’s closest circles, and even there we are sometimes surprised with unexpected and vehement differences of opinion!

Two readings helped me this morning to keep an open mind. Meg Wheatley’s page on “Praise and Blame” from her book, Perseverance, stated obvious facts and raised some good questions. “There is absolutely no way to avoid being criticized,” she says. “Nobody gets through life being described as totally wonderful. The question is, what do we do with criticism? Do we take it in, believe it and develop self-loathing? Do we assume that a criticism of something we’ve done is a condemnation of who we are?…Can we not instantly push criticism away yet not accept it totally? Can we treat praise the same way?…Praise and blame are two sides of the same coin…In both cases we need to listen with caution and discernment…”

Good advice.. and even better was what I found in the Scriptures for today in the verse before the gospel: “Blessed are they who have kept the word with a generous heart, and yield a harvest through perseverance.”

Heartfelt Listening

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listen, Meg Wheatley, silence, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Turning To One Another

Lately I’ve been noticing – and reading about – a lot of unfortunate trends in the ways that people speak to each other these days. It seems more like a contest than anything else and people are quick to pull a gun or call a lawyer to sue for defamation of character. On television, panel “discussions” devolve quickly into shouting matches or five people talking over each other in louder and louder voices to get their points across.

All of this reminded me of a moment at our book study session on Wednesday evening this past week. When Cheryl asked for comments on a section of the chapter we read, there was a protracted silence, long enough for me to feel the need to say something like: “Didn’t anything strike you? Anybody???” which elicited a rousing chorus of “We’re just thinking!…It’s so deep and meaningful…” I was immediately chastened and, at the same moment, grateful for the depth of sharing that was so common in this group.

Meg Wheatley has something to say on this topic. On a page from her book, turning to one another in answer to her own question, “When have I experienced good listening?” she writes the following:

One of the easiest human acts is also the most healing. Listening to someone. Simply listening. Not advising or coaching, but silently and fully listening…it has something to do with the fact that listening creates relationships. We know from science that nothing in the universe exists as an isolated or independent entity. Everything takes form from relationships, be it subatomic particles sharing energy or ecosystems sharing food. In the web of life, nothing lives alone. (p. 88-89)

I’ll try to remember that…

Choice

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acceptance, choice, interpretation, judgment, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, react, respond, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Life sometimes seems to be offering us little choice. When we’re young we have to go to school, we eat what our parents put before us, we do what we’re told, etc. When older, sometimes it feels the same when our patterns are established and we go to work, we spend our money on necessities (or not) and sometimes life seems to winnow the list of choices we have to fit into how much time we have in our busy schedules (but who makes the schedule?).

I am considering the topic of choice today not because I feel constrained by the number of hours in the day (although as I get older that sometimes rankles) but because of Margaret Wheatley’s book, Perseverance, that I chose for my morning reflection. Here’s a little of what she said – which you might choose to consider as I did, whether you are making judgments about time constraints, other people or anything in your life.

We need first to notice that we’ve made choices about everything in our lives. How we react and respond, every single feeling, is a choice. Every situation has infinite possibilities for interpretation and reaction. But we collapse all those possibilities the second we assign a feeling or judgment to the situation. (Page 103)

So, really, it’s more about how we feel about our choices and/or how we judge them that makes the difference in our acceptance of them. I will be spending some time with this thought today. Will you?

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From Whence Comes Joy?

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joy, Meg Wheatley, Peace, perseverance, relationship, service, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, together

Here’s something to ponder that made sense to me this morning. It may take some moments of reflection but hopefully will lead to gratitude in the end.

Joy, like peace, resides only inside us. It is never manufactured by external circumstances. This is very good news, as external events, other people, and life in general become more and more harsh and difficult. But discovering what lives deep inside us, as our natural condition, requires fearless curiosity…

The potential for joy is always present in us but, like everything in life, that potential only becomes evident in relationship. We can’t analyze whether joy exists, or hope to discover it from a remote, isolated position.We have to be together. We have to be in service to one another to discover our essential goodness.

This is why people can discover joy even in the most horrific situations. They were together. (Perseverance, Margaret Wheatley, p.143)

Definitional Distinction

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compassion, guilt, light, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, regret, see clearly, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Most people who know me are aware of my fondness for words – not that I prefer talking to silence, but I’m always interested in nuances and things making sense. This morning I read a page from Meg Wheatley’s book, Perseverance, that gave me pause and seems worth repeating. Her concluding paragraph is especially helpful for a Saturday of looking back to the past week and forward to the next.

There’s a fundamental distinction between guilt and regret. Guilt turns us inward, creating a cauldron of self-hatred that destroys us. People never act wisely from guilt – the intensity of emotions prevents discernment and right action.

Regret, on the other hand, does not disable us. It gives us the capacity to see clearly, to clarify our future, to change. We can vow not to repeat our mistakes, we can pay attention to what we’ve learned, we can focus our heart and mind on not causing harm again. We can develop greater insight into who we are, and move forward to become who we would like to be.

If guilt and shame are driving us inward, hopefully we can notice this direction and choose, even for a moment, to look outward. If we look out into the world, we will notice that millions of other people are, at this very moment, experiencing the same terrible feelings.

We can use this time of feeling badly about ourself to get beyond our self, and connect with all those other humans with whom we share this dark kinship. If our hearts open to them, what enters us is not more darkness, but the light of compassion. (p. 87)

Consequences

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Abram, consequences, generosity, Genesis, hearts, jealousy, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, Sarai, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

After reading today’s text from the lectionary (GN 16:6B-12, 15-16) about Sarai’s inability to have children and her acquiescence to Abram’s need for an heir, I found her decision to “give” her maidservant, Hagar, to him as his concubine rather surprising. Actually, it was her behavior after the decision that belied the seeming generosity of her decision. She was very abusive of Hagar when Hagar became pregnant! Serendipitously, without any effort on my part, (Does anything really happen “by chance?”) I opened Meg Wheatley’s book, Perseverance, and found the following:

Jealousy and generosity are reverse images of one another. In response to any circumstance, one or the other will arise, guaranteed. Since they inhabit the same space, only one can appear at any time; they cancel each other out. Jealousy arises as generosity disappears, generosity flourishes as jealousy is stilled…

As closely connected as jealousy and generosity are, they create very different consequences. If jealousy predominates, we turn inward, shrivel our hearts, and lose strength. If generosity grows, we grow also. Our world expands. We realize there is enough to go round…

The world expands from the inside out – it’s our hearts that have enlarged. We not only feel more loving, we’re also more open and aware. We see more, we take in more, we let in more.

Jealousy is such a waste of a good human heart. (p. 75)

What Does Greatness Mean?

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Bill McKibben, collaboration, competition, cooperation, Meg Wheatley, partnering, smaller, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trials, Turning To One Another

Chief Seattle had it right when he spoke about the web of life of which we are all part – not creators but just a part. Meg Wheatley speaks of the competitive world of Western culture in similar fashion. Here’s what I read this morning that strengthens my conviction that collaboration is what we need now.

One of the biggest flaws in our approach to life is the Western belief that competition creates strong and healthy systems. Television screens are filled with images of animals locking horns in battle or ripping apart their prey. It is true that in any living system there are predators and prey, death and destruction. But competition among individuals and species is not the dominant way life works. It is always cooperation that increases over time in a living system. Life becomes stronger and more capable through systems of collaboration and partnering, not through competition.

It helps to read the entire essay about relationship with the earth in which Wheatley makes her argument (turning to one another, pp. 102-111) but the above paragraph is enough to get me thinking of all the bad results of excessive competition in business, sports and the relationships of daily life in our time. In situations of trial (like the present weather systems’ destruction and mass shootings) it is the cooperation of neighbors and charitable groups that helps people to survive physically and emotionally making the difference toward rebuilding their lives.

Meg Wheatley quotes Bill McKibben to reference the shift that I hope we see now as the way to go. See what you think.

The story of the twentieth century was finding out just how big and powerful we were. And it turns out that we’re big and powerful as all get out. The story of the twenty-first century is going to be finding out if we can figure out ways to get smaller or not. To see if we can summon the will, and then the way, to make ourselves somewhat smaller, and try to fit back into this planet.