Aftermath

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meditation, reflect, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

8:33 a.m.: As I wait for my body to catch up to my mind this morning, I sit in the planning stage of choices. Should I reflect more about yesterday’s safe and energetic road trip and meeting? (See yesterday’s post.) Should I move toward the several household chores that await me? Should I tackle the “homework” for next week’s zoom gatherings? I could say: “All of the above” and make one of my ever-present lists on yet another small notepad or used envelope or should I trust my mind to total recall – (not really a safe option!).

The best idea is, I think, staring at me from the corner of my room: my meditation mat, ready to receive me…the best way to start my day. So please excuse me while I drop into the day with God.

One Thing I Ask

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God's presence, lessons, meditation, psalm 27, self-compassion, stay home, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

For a long time I have wished for more time with less to do. I was reminded of that this morning when I read Psalm 27 which sang out:

One thing I ask of the Lord, this I seek: to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, that I may gaze on the loveliness of the Lord and contemplate God’s temple.”

It’s ironic really because since the second week of March — 46 days to be exact – I have been without a schedule and without restriction except to “STAY HOME” (as directed by our government) but have yet to dedicate time in any regular way to the contemplation of the “loveliness of the Lord.” I have participated in a virtual retreat by Zoom and have begun again the group book study that was interrupted mid-course last month…but that just happened this week and only takes 3 hours out of 24…

As I think of it, another irony is that the topic of the virtual retreat for this week is “Self-Compassion” and I wonder why I might be feeling guilty at this moment. I sit in my recliner and look at my meditation mat just three feet away, wondering why I am not sitting there right now and what it will take to finally move from recognition of lassitude to the discipline of meditation once again.

There are many lessons in this “season-out-of-time,” as I have come to call it. In conversations lately (zoom and telephone only!) I have been grateful to hear that I am not alone in what is probably a mild case of depression if not just an adjustment to life during a situation I have never before encountered.

As I think of it, I have not lost the sense of God’s presence always with me so perhaps attention to that fact is a way to achieve the same result as happens in a scheduled meditation session. That’s something to watch as I go forward…but I think today will lend itself to a scheduled “date” with God on my mat, because during this attempt to explain myself to myself, I am feeling a deeper longing for just such an event!

Not Just a Day…

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Easter season, heart space, meditation, retreat, self-forgiveness, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I was on a zoom call at 7:00 this morning, signed in with about 30 people interested in following the liturgical season of Easter – rather than just thinking of Easter as a day. It really is 50 days, taking us all the way to Pentecost – but who is still thinking of Easter on Memorial Day? (Hopefully some of us will still be there!)

With my friend Bill Redfield at the helm of the Zoom Ship, I trust we will all persevere with what Bill promises will be a practicum as well as a retreat. This morning – and three more times this week (for slow learners or those who feel that repetition is good for the soul) – Bill led us through a meditation practice that got us into our “heart space” in order that we might consider, or rather perhaps experience, self-forgiveness. Surprisingly, I found out in the small group portion of the call that I am not the only person who has a greater capacity for forgiving others than for forgiving myself. “Why is that so?” we asked ourselves and each other.

I’m hoping that by the end of the week I will have some answers, or even just acceptance of that reality and a new willingness to let it go. If you have an interest in joining us, visit William Redfield Virtual Easter Retreat and Practicum for more information. You’ll be very welcome!

20-20 Vision

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20/20 vision, A Deep Breath of Life, Alan Cohen, appreciation, attitude, clarity, experience, gift, hear, meditation, messages, prayer, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

It seems incredible that we have already traversed an entire month of the year 2020. It is shaping up to be a challenging time for many reasons, some from natural causes and some of human initiative. It seems imperative that we be constantly awake to the broad spectrum of events and stay true to our own integrity, which includes watching our own behavior and response to challenges.

The impetus for this line of thought is (as usual) something I read just now from A Deep Breath of Life by Alan Cohen. In his reflection for this date, Cohen says the following:

Through prayer and meditation, you can sensitize yourself to hear important messages before they are played out in the physical world…Rather than fight life or adopt a victim position, look for the gift in the experience. Imagine that the universe is conspiring not to hurt you, but to free you. An attitude of appreciation, rather than resentment, will soften and transform otherwise difficult lessons.

It isn’t always easy to admit our less than stellar behaviors and reactions to life events great and small but if we stay awake and practice seeing the lessons in our days, in the long run our vision improves and we can learn to accept ourselves and others without a need for obfuscation or excuse.

What better year for working on clarity of vision? It is 20-20, after all!

Take-a-Break

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first snow, meditation, reflection, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Up early…moving slowly…letting the day arrive. First snow – just a dusting…sun on snow a vivid light! Listening for the sound of cars on wet roads, happy I am home for the morning.

I think today is a day for all of us to sit in our own reflective space, wherever that may be…Have a lovely day.

Choice

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Buddhist, meditation, Meg Wheatley, noise, perseverance, silence, sound, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I just read something that I first thought quite amusing but then I began to think about it as something more than a whimsical quote from Meg Wheatley (see Perseverance, p. 102) and it became a challenge to my way of thinking that puts me at the center of things. Here’s what I mean.

I love the times like yesterday afternoon when everyone who lives in our house is home doing whatever we do in an atmosphere of silence. It’s a very peaceful feeling of a communal spirit. (Ironically, some geese just flew by outside cackling wildly to disturb the morning silence.) I’m not saying I long for the days of enforced silence for most of our waking moments, but hearing the hammering of carpenters on our land or 18-wheel trucks zooming down the road can be disturbing. Then there’s the vacuum cleaner that makes me think I should be doing some household chore instead of reading in my room…but that’s another matter…and I digress. Here’s what I read:

A Buddhist teacher caught himself complaining about the loud party nearby that was disturbing his meditation. And then he had this insight. “Oh, the sound is just the sound. It is me who is going out to annoy it. If I leave the sound alone, it won’t annoy me. It’s just doing what it has to do. That’s what sound does. It makes sound. That is its job. So if I don’t go out to bother the sound, it’s not going to bother me. Aha!”

Discipline

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Celebration of Discipline, disciple, discipline, enthusiasm, gifts from God, Hebrews, meditation, Peace, Richard Foster, spiritual practices, St. Paul, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

In the Letter to the Hebrews today (12:4-7, 11-15) we read a reflection on discipline. Paul is suggesting that discipline should be a cause for joy, not pain, and can be seen in the long run to bring “the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it.” Paul speaks of discipline as an important part of parental training as well as a way to view the trials that come from God.

A long time ago I read a book entitled Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster that changed my view of the purpose and practice of the word. I certainly had learned the connection between “discipline” and “disciple” and understood that self-discipline is the way to discipleship but this book – just by its title and then by its content – moved spiritual practices from the realm of work to a place of enthusiasm and joy for me. To celebrate what it takes of day-to-day sitting in meditation or speaking kindness to others no matter our mood does not come naturally for most of us. If, however, we begin to think of these practices as gifts to us from God, the entire enterprise changes to one of celebration. And it doesn’t matter if every day is a new beginning of the process. I believe God offers us a clean slate with each sunrise.

So let us take St. Paul’s advice to “strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees” and “make straight the paths of your feet” in order to “strive for peace with everyone and for that holiness without which no one will see the Lord..” And. remember that “with God everything is possible!”

Inner and Outer Light

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believe, conscious living, fan the flames, gratitude, imagination, inner fire, light, light worker, meditation, possibility, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, the spiritual center

Sometimes I “talk big” and really mean what I say but find at the end of the day that I haven’t come close to accomplishing what I had decided at the beginning I would be able to achieve. Such was the interim between this moment and what I wrote on Friday about diving in with vigor and making a new start. Events intervene and change the pattern of our days sometimes so all we can do is our best – sometimes starting over the next day. The key is not to get either discouraged or lazy so that nothing ever gets done. This morning I’m ready to try again. Here’s why.

1. Yesterday morning six of us sat around a blazing fire in the living room of the Sophia House considering three themes for reflection in this new year. Our wonderfully creative tech person at Sophia, Mary Pat, walked with us on a non-stressful – peaceful even – path, stopping at directional points of inner and outer light, conscious living and gratitude. Our sharing was simple and then grew as did the fire’s warmth so that, in the end, we had a sense of that fire as an ongoing potential for this year’s journey.
2. Last evening my three Sisters and I sat in our own living room and had what turned into a long, lively exchange of ideas about moving forward with the fulfillment of certain of our proposed projects at the Spiritual Center. It was another experience of how the inner fire in each of us was caught in the circle because of all of us together.
3. This morning lying in my bed after waking I began to consider my day and to wonder what might be accomplished. Suddenly a wave of light seemed to burst within me – not a tidal wave but a flicker of determination that seemed to say, “Fan the flame. Go within to catch the spirit of those light workers who can help you in this realm and beyond. Use your imagination. Get up! Believe in possibility!” Needless to say I did not go back to sleep.
4. As I sat with my coffee to relate these events and their effect on me, a strong wind began to blow through the tallest of the trees outside my window, cheering me on. It’s still waving at me – so I need to move to my meditation mat to solidify purpose and begin the day. Blessings abound!

Kick-Start

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compromise, excuses, God, gratitude, inertia, intention, Lynn Bauman, meditation, praise, psalm 96, refreshed, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Sometimes it’s just the vocabulary of a line or two that snaps us open to possibility. Occasionally there is a convergence of small events that sparks a new knowing. Let me give this morning’s example. 

In the semi-darkness of the kitchen as I poured my coffee, Sister Paula mentioned yesterday’s blog and the essential nature of what Dave Peters had written about intention that I had quoted. Ten minutes later, settled in my chair looking out at a tree stripped of any sign of life and then back at a blank computer screen, I picked up and read Lynn Bauman’s enthusiastic translation of today’s lectionary psalm. 

Come sing to God, O earth, sing out this song anew. And bless God’s holy name in praise, for day by day we are renewed, restored, refreshed again by glory’s light. Proclaim good news among the nations of the earth, tell all the peoples everywhere God’s work, God’s ways, the wonders that God does…This is your God, bring all you have and offer it in honor of that sacred name. (Ps 96: 1-3, 8)

At that moment I recognized that I had been moving on “automatic pilot,” slipping deeper and deeper into a place of inertia. I didn’t need to search for explanations, blaming the weather or the political climate or anything external. I just knew that the discipline of intention had somehow leaked out of me and left me in that state. As I resumed reading the psalm something in me began to lift and let me know that today needs to be different.

O, heavens rejoice with fullest joy. O, earth express your deepest praise. O, oceans roar in satisfaction and delight, and lands from sea to sea join in. You trees on earth and mighty forests deep, shout out to welcome God’s return. For God has come to us as fairest judge to settle all our wrongs with right. (vs. 11-13)

No compromises today will be tolerated. No excuses will be good enough to give in. I’m due on my meditation mat right now, then to the shower and soon to work, all with determination and deep gratitude.

Scriptural Assurance

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Acts of the Apostles, centering prayer, getaway, John, meditation, Pentecost, retreat, spirit, St. Paul, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

When I think of the courage necessary to the first Christians as they shared their beliefs in Jesus and found resistance that led to beatings and vilification, I’m honored to have an opportunity to do the same with radically different outcomes. I am certainly not comparing myself to St. Paul and his gift of preaching! The only similarity is that I will leave in a few hours for a destination in Pennsylvania, close to 225 miles away. Unlike in Paul’s day, the trip will take me about four hours and the travel conditions will simply necessitate paying attention while I drive.

I’m going to lead a retreat for members of a parish in Maryland  – a “getaway” weekend for them in what I’m told are beautiful surroundings. Of the almost 50 participants, I only know the person organizing the retreat. That’s always daunting as there’s no guarantee that my presentations about “putting on the mind of Christ” with a focus on centering prayer meditation will please them. It was the first line of the first reading that began to put me at ease this morning, however. I read, “One night while Paul was in Corinth, the Lord said to him in a vision, ‘Do not be afraid. Go on speaking, and do not be silent, for I am with you.'” (ACTS 18:9 – I love those instances when it seems God is speaking directly to me!)

One of the pieces of information I received from the organizer of the event as she was describing the venue for the retreat was the fact that there is very little cell service unless you climb a hill to get it. Knowing just that fact, I’m thinking that it will be better to decide right now that I will not be blogging again until Monday when I will be back home after the conclusion of this experience. Given that we are in the moment and mode of expectation for the outpouring of the Spirit at Pentecost, I ask your prayer for the retreat participants and for me, that we all give and receive what is needed for the word of God to grow in us this weekend. And we can be sure of God’s response as the last line of the gospel this morning has Jesus promising: “Whatever you ask the Father in my name, he will give you.” (JN 16:23)