A Home for the Lord

Tags

longing, palm 132, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

There’s a verse in the lectionary psalm for today that stopped me in my reading and touched me in a deep place. Take a breath and see what you think.

I will give my eyes no sleep. my eyelids no rest, till I find a home for the Lord…(PS 132)

Immediately upon reading that line, I saw myself carrying soft, beautiful bedding to a room suffused with light. With a heart bursting full of love, I entered the room and saw that God was already there, waiting for me to make the bed. The image was brief but filled me with longing. And that is gift enough for today.

The Breath of God

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Book of Hours: Love Poems to God, breath, desire, dream, I AM, longing, Rainer Maria Rilke, strong, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I felt the need for poetry this morning. Everything is gray and drenched with last night’s rain – definitely Friday. Rainer Maria Rilke’s Book of Hours had been sitting silently on the shelf under my side table for a long time waiting for attention. The subtitle of this translation by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy is Love Poems to God. I read page 81 as a continuing stream of words, a paragraph, which seems suitable to me right now.

I am, you anxious one. Don’t you sense me, ready to break into being at your touch? My murmurings surround you like shadowy wings. Can’t you see me standing before you cloaked in stillness? Hasn’t my longing opened in you from the beginning as fruit opens on a branch? I am the dream you are dreaming. When you want to awaken, I am that wanting: I grow strong in the beauty you behold. And with the silence of stars I enfold your cities made by time.

Can you feel the power within those words? The desire that is waiting for a response? The reason I could not allow a breath between the lines but plunged in and kept swimming until the end? I need to sit now in the silence of which he speaks, even though the morning begins to lighten everything inside and out. Are you there with me?

Shock Treatment

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depth, face shine, give me a sign, glorify God, light, lightning, longing, Matthew, Passion, psalm 119, sadness, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, yearning

There are several references to light in today’s lectionary readings. Psalm 119 is both indirect and direct, calling on God to “let your face shine upon me,” while also saying to God that “the revelation of your words sheds light.” Jesus speaks very directly, telling his hearers (MT 6) “You are the light of the world” and then commanding them to “let your light shine before others” – not for personal gain, however, but to glorify God, the source of light.

I am occasionally not so fond of light shining on me – like this morning after less than 6 hours of sleep when the sun was already up over the mountain and calling me to open my eyes at 5:20AM. There was no way to hide from that light; covering my face under even a sheet in the sudden summery heat would have been suffocating. Facing the day seemed the more sane option.

One line in the Psalm response (119:131) was like a bolt of lightning ten minutes later and made my grudging start to the day worthwhile. I was not reading from any alternate, poetic or modern translation – just the USCCB* version – but the light of that line was clearly shocking me awake.  Just after the verse about God’s words shedding light, the psalm said this: I gasp with open mouth in my yearning for your commands. That’s a far cry from “Teach me, O Lord, your statutes…”

Yearning is defined as “a feeling of intense longing for something” with synonyms such as longing, craving, hankering, urge, ache…To yearn, the dictionary says, stresses the depth and passion of a desire, sometimes accompanied by sadness. The psalmist was obviously craving the light of God, love being the motivating force but the weight of the world perhaps dimming the path toward that light. It seems to me that a sense of distance from God crashed into the psalmist’s desire like a punch in the stomach that caused such a gasp of yearning. I can just hear the follow-on to that cry to God: Tell me what you want! or Where are You? I’m overcome with longing and searching. Just give me a sign! I’m guessing that just the experience of that gasping in the yearning would have awakened a new depth in relationship with God. And who would not be willing to experience that?

*United States Conference of Catholic Bishops

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirsting for God

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bless, lift up, longing, name, protect, psalm 63, see, shelter, soul, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, thirst

Sometimes I think I understand the meaning in the psalms but, as I come to appreciate the importance of experience rather than or in addition to intellectual grasp of a reality, I know I have a long way to go. Take this morning’s reading of psalm 63 for example. I’ve been thirsty in my life, especially when I’ve been doing outside work or walking a long way in the heat of the day, but I’ve never been crossing a desert without a canteen with the sun beating down on me. Can I really understand the depth of the psalmist’s cry: My soul is thirsting for you, O my God? If I stop with only that refrain, my answer is no; it seems a rather insipid expression of desire for God for someone used to running water in three rooms of our house. Thank goodness for the tug of poetic language that follows, lifting that longing to the highest pitch of the soul’s song. I suggest saying it aloud – or better yet singing it to the God who awaits our call.

O God, you are my God, eagerly I seek for you, my soul thirsts for you, my whole being longs for you in this dry and barren land where there is no water. I lift my eyes and behold! I see you standing in your holy place; I gaze and see your strength, your power, and the beauty of your face. And now I know that one drop of goodness from your hand is better far than life itself. I cannot stop these lips from praising you. So as long as life shall last for me, I will bless the name of God and lift up my hands to you in prayer. For my whole heart and soul are filled by you and satisfied as with a feast that loosens tongue and lips with songs of praise. When evening comes I go to be with you, and through the passing hours of the night I invoke your name in prayer. So whether day or night, it matters not, for you are ever at my side to guide, protect and shade as by a sheltering wing. My soul ever clings to you in joy; your strong hand reaches out and holds me fast. (PS 63: 1-8)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Voice of the Shepherd

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God's voice, Good Shepherd, Jesus, listening, longing, messages, psalm 42, sound recognition, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, voice

Last night I took a chance and left my bedroom window open. Because the day had actually been warm enough to make me believe that spring had finally arrived, I thought that the fresh air would be worth the gamble on my being warm enough all night. Not only did I win that bet with myself but I didn’t need my alarm to wake me up this morning because the birds were busy very early and there was one outside with a big voice that sounded like a repetitive wake-up call. As I settled in with my coffee, I said aloud, “I don’t know who you are but I appreciate your call to slide me back from dreamland to this day.”

There it is again: hearing a voice – this time not one I recognize, but I’d be happy to be introduced to the bird it belongs to. This theme of sound recognition has been with me since my Saturday retreat and keeps calling me to pay attention. It wasn’t surprising then as I turned to the Scriptures of the day and found Jesus speaking of himself as the shepherd whose sheep hear his voice and follow him because they recognize his voice.

Juxtaposed with that gospel this morning is Psalm 42, a psalm of great longing for God. As the deer longs for running streams, so my soul longs for you, O God! Athirst is my soul for God, the living God. When shall I go and behold the face of God? Even here in the great desire to see God’s face there is the undercurrent of listening. I imagine native peoples walking through the woods as quietly as possible, listening for running water that they might slake their thirst (and avoid confrontation with danger, of course!).

Today, then, I hope to dedicate myself to listening intently – but also in a relaxed mode, not forcing anything – so that I may hear messages hidden in everyday events and conversations, insights shared in my spiritual practices group this afternoon or tones of voice in our chanting that lift my heart…In other words, I hope to stay awake all day to the longing for God that rises not only from my visual world but also from the sound of God’s voice everywhere present within and without.

O Emmanuel, Come!

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child, Christmas, families, fulfillment, gathering, God, Hebrews, joy to the world, longing, Messiah, O Antiphons, O Come O Come Emanuel, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, waiting

Today there seems a greater intensity in the call of the O Antiphon. It is the last one, the end of the Advent season, since tomorrow we shall keep vigil for the birth of the Messiah. Into the musical corner of my mind this morning as I read the antiphon came the tune and words: “Come thou long-expected Jesus, born to set thy people free.” I don’t remember much of that hymn but I think the important idea is that the waiting had been centuries long for the Hebrews, yet they kept an expectant hope alive. I’ve had several conversations in the past week about the sad state of the world and the reasons to lament. On the other hand I hear on the news that travel in the United States, especially tomorrow and on the weekend, will set records because of low gas prices and good weather, at least in the Northeast. That means that families will gather in whatever way they can (some just by phone or computer) to celebrate, however they do, the holiday of Christmas. I choose to believe that the love that is shared during this season does have a positive effect on the world.

Expectations vary today, to be sure, as we approach the very day of Christmas. May it be a fulfillment of our longing, a little or a lot, for personal peace, for more light in the world, for reconciliation…all wrapped in recognition of the child who became and continues to become God with us.

O Emmanuel, our King and Lawgiver, the Expected of nations and their Savior. Come and save us, O Lord our God!

O Emmanuel, you are God-with-us and the savior of all nations. Come, save us and make of us your own joy to the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wisdom Seekers

Tags

Book of Hours, God speaks to each of us, life, limits, longing, Rainer Maria Rilke, retreat, seriousness, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Wisdom tradition fo Christianity

Today we are blessed by the presence of a group of people here at our center/home who have come to experience in a weekend a taste of what we have to offer of the Wisdom tradition of Christianity. I go in a few minutes to morning prayer at 7:00am where in silence we seek the God who calls us all. A page from Rilke’s Book of Hours fairly shouts an invitation to this brief encounter that will lead us into a day of exploration of spiritual practice. He writes the following message for us, I think, for today.

God speaks to each of us as he makes us, then walks with us silently out of the night. These are the words we dimly hear: “You, sent out beyond your recall, go to the limits of your longing. Embody me. Flare up like flame and make big shadows I can move in. Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don’t let yourself lose me. Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness. Give me your hand.”

Waiting…

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dawn, longing, Lord, Psalm 130, soul, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I’m very lucky to have a bedroom window that faces east. On clear mornings if my schedule permits it is a spirit-soaring experience for me to just sit and watch the magnificent beauty outside as the sun rises. It is something I wait for in the dark…and I often repeat the line from Psalm 130 that touches me this morning:

My soul waits for the Lord more than sentinels wait for the dawn.

Encapsulated in that verse is the longing of a lifetime and a reason to move forward into each day when living for the Lord is an ever-present goal.