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Tag Archives: listening

Good Conversation

16 Saturday Jun 2018

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closer, conversation, curious, differences, different, good listening, judgment, listen, listening, Meg Wheatley, messages, relationship, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Turning To One Another

alistenI’m up early to greet the day with Meg Wheatley’s book, turning to one another. (Yes, the title is written in all lower case letters – most likely to emphasize the desire to have a conversation of equality.) I haven’t visited this treasure for a long time but have been trying to live with its messages nonetheless. It all seems so timely now when, day by day, so much in the world seems so fractured. I don’t know why it called to me as I turned to set my coffee on my side table. Perhaps it’s the appearance of the book itself, skinny but tall and dressed in a coat of red and yellow on its spine. Here are the two paragraphs that wouldn’t let me go this morning.

I hope you’ll begin a conversation, listening for what’s new. Listen as best you can for what’s different, for what surprises you. See if this practice helps you learn something new. Notice whether you develop a better relationship with the person you’re talking with. If you try this with several people, you might find yourself laughing in delight as you realize how many unique ways there are to be human.

We have the opportunity many times a day, everyday, to be the one who listens to others, curious rather than certain. But the greatest benefit of all is that listening moves us closer. When we listen with less judgment, we always develop better relationship with each other. It’s not differences that divide us. It’s our judgments about each other that do. Curiosity and good listening bring us back together. (p.36)

 

 

 

 

 

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Be Careful What You Ask For!

30 Wednesday May 2018

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bigger picture, humility, James, John, listening, love, Mark, Matthew, prayer, prestigeattention, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust, wisdom, Zebedee

azebedeewifeToday we have an appearance of those two outspoken disciples, James and John, the sons of Zebedee. We first meet them in the gospel of Matthew as they are with their father preparing their nets for fishing. As with all the others who left what they were doing to follow Jesus, one wonders about the reaction in their family. We never meet the father again but their mother shows up in the gospel of Matthew asking for privilege for her sons (MT 20) and today we have Mark’s rendition of that event (MK 10:32-45) where the brothers speak for themselves. It’s a rather shocking passage but maybe understandable if you consider the haughty behavior of their mother recorded elsewhere. Asking Jesus that they be “seated one at your right and one at your left in your glory” is not at all in keeping with the humility expected of the closest followers of Jesus. Even worse is the fact that Mark pairs that conversation with Jesus telling the Twelve what was going to happen to him in Jerusalem – his suffering, death and resurrection.

Maybe James and John weren’t really listening closely or maybe they just skipped over the suffering and death part because it seemed too impossible to consider, but their response held nothing of care for Jesus. It was all about the prestige they were hoping for as his companions.

While we admit that Mark’s is the shortest gospel and that it was written at least 30 to 40 years after the events described, one must wonder at the reasoning behind the juxtaposition of the two scenarios in this one passage. Was it a call for humility, pointed out by bad behavior? A call to attention, perhaps, so that we don’t miss the messages we are being given even in the everyday? Did it really happen as Mark told it, or were the brothers embarrassed by the arrogance of their mother in Matthew’s rendering? Certainly this is all conjecture but it does give one pause.

For me today it’s all about our approach to God in prayer. Awareness of “the bigger picture” of our lives, humility, trust and love ought to guide our desires as we do not speak for ourselves alone but for the good of the whole. Ultimately, wrapping all of our prayer in a mantle of surrender to the wisdom of God will assure what is best for us, even if we can’t see it in the present. And that, it seems, is the only way to live.

 

 

 

 

 

God Says, “LISTEN TO ME!”

27 Tuesday Feb 2018

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Ancient Songs Sung Anew, deeper, gratitude, hear, joy, listening, psalm 50, thankfulness, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, transformed

agirlwithgiftsI’m always interested when the Psalm response in the lectionary consists of some verses from a long psalm that fit a specific purpose directly without any extraneous “sidebars” of intervening verses. Today my antenna was up because the stated title of Psalm 50 in the book Ancient Songs Sung Anew was “God Calls the World to Listen.” Since I had spent yesterday presenting to two different groups on the topic of “The Art of Sacred Listening” I was, you might say, “all ears” for the message. I wasn’t disappointed. Here are the salient points.

Hear me, my people, I am your God…I do not fault you for your offerings; your holocausts are clear. But I ask for no more heifers to be brought from flocks and farms. I need no more goats offered up from all your herds. Do you not realize I have all these and more? I’ve made my case; here’s what I want, a sacrifice of thankfulness in all that honors me. (vs. 8-10a, 23)

I have this vision of someone sitting on an over-stuffed recliner chair (a Lazy Boy?) surrounded by all kinds of material gifts – but all alone with the stuff – looking very sad. Perhaps we might interpret God as saying to us in our own time and place something like this: “I know you’re doing your duty – coming to church with items for the food pantry and your weekly envelope – but it seems lately that it is just that – a duty! I don’t need your duty! I want your heart!”

I’m not suggesting that we stop supporting the place where we worship, nor do I think God would want that. I do think, however, that this might be a good time to go to a deeper place to see if we are being transformed by our participation in the worship services, awakened to love of those who worship with us. If so, it seems that our only response would be one of consistent gratitude and heartfelt joy. And God would be happy too.

 

 

 

 

 

Sacred Scripture

25 Sunday Feb 2018

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action, divine inspiration, Elijah, facts, faith, James, Jesus, John, listening, love, Mark, Moses, Peter, spirit, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, transfiguration, trust, truth

atransfigurationSometimes the strangest thoughts bubble up when I’m reading the Scriptures for the day. This year we’re reading Mark and today’s section is the familiar story of the Transfiguration (9:2-10). None of the gospels provides all the details for any story but Mark is especially brief – the first written and shortest gospel. In some cases it’s like reading shorthand. Over the years I’ve become brave enough to try filling in some of the blanks in the stories. I doubt it can hurt; it’s not dogmatic teaching but just  conjecture for my own deeper understanding. I think of it as a kind of similar activity to that of movie makers who try to give us pictures to accompany the most visual texts – not always successfully, I might add.

Just now as I was reading about the transformation of Jesus into a being of light in the presence of his associates, Peter, James and John, it was the appearance of Elijah and Moses conversing with Jesus that led to my musing. In seeing that vision, Peter blurts out to Jesus the famous lines, ” Rabbi, it is good that we are here! Let us make three tents: one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah!” My immediate – unbidden – reaction was: How did he know who they were? It’s doubtful there were photos in their homes…Then I laughed at myself and went back to imaging the event.

A couple of reflections remain from that experience.

  1. Regardless of the vast resources of biblical scholarship available to us today, there are still things we may never be sure of but these are generally questions like mine today – details rather than central points of the stories.
  2. The importance of what we read is the truth rather than the facts that we find there. Sometimes the two coincide but not always. We need to be aware of literary forms and the purposes of their use. (Consider the stories of Adam and Eve or Jonah, for example.)
  3. Reading the Bible is an exercise of trust in divine inspiration, not only as it was present to those who first told of God’s actions but also those who heard, those who sat in community and “edited” by common consent and then those who left us the texts that have been passed down.
  4. We ourselves have the responsibility of faith that God is still speaking and that we have a part to play in our own communities by delving deeper into the words we read, the images that arise in us during the sacred times of listening together and the inspiration of the Spirit among us that can lead us to deeper truth, deeper action and deeper love in community.

 

 

 

 

Wait in Silence, Listening

23 Friday Feb 2018

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Ancient Songs Sung Anew, hear, hearing, heart, listen, listening, mercy, mindfulness, Psalm 130, sacred art, silence, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, voice, waiting

alisteningwomanLast winter we decided to offer a series on Mindfulness at the Sophia Center because it seemed that this concept was being talked about in many circles and there were many ways to go about presenting it. We decided on five sessions during which we would explain and then offer examples of a different “mindfulness practice” each week. The topics were diverse: chanting from several traditions, Buddhist meditation practices, centering prayer, etc. and each of them touched somehow on a more quiet approach to life. The series was one of the best-attended efforts of the year so we have decided to continue our exploration of mindfulness. For a number of reasons we chose the topic Hearing With the Heart for this year’s series. It is our hope that we will come to understand more deeply the concept and practice of contemplative listening and contemplative dialogue as we explore hearing and speaking out of spacious silence.

I am the first presenter and have found it quite difficult to organize my thoughts on the subject of “Listening as a Sacred Art” because – ironically – there is so much to say! It seems that in our fast-paced world we have (more or less) lost the capacity to listen well. Take a look at most of the commercials on television or consider that now studies show a 5-second attention span in our youth. (I actually heard that in a report this week!)

I’m running out of preparation time for my presentation so I smiled when I read this morning’s lectionary selection of Psalm 130. I am now thinking it is a perfect lead-in to the entire event. See if you agree.

My whole being waits for you, my God, listening in your presence. I long to hear your voice again, speaking. So like a watchman who anticipates the crack of dawn, my heart waits for the first-light of your word. Listen, listen, wait in silence listening for the One from whom all mercy flows…(Ancient Songs Sung Anew, p. 334)

 

 

 

 

 

Smiles All Around

19 Friday Jan 2018

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A Deep Breath of Life, Alan Cohen, consciousness, contemplative, dialogue, Divine Presence, inspiration, kindness, listening, message, mindfulness, psalm 57, smile, smiling, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, wellness

amindfulsmileI have to smile this morning as I sit here waiting for a message to arise when prompts are all around me. My brain feels like a broken record and I wonder if I will ever move through a day – or even an hour – without falling out of consciousness. Here’s what I mean.

1. On Tuesday I met with the two other persons who are working with me to create a second series on Mindfulness to complement what we offered last year during Lent. We’re moving toward weekly presentations on contemplative listening and dialogue – skills that are not easily practiced in our culture. We easily talk about them but practicing is another matter.

2. On Wednesday I was at a pharmacy waiting for a prescription to be filled when my eye fell on what appeared to be a coloring book in the magazine rack at the checkout counter. It was, rather, a creative magazine called Breathe: The Well-being Special. A banner that ran across the cover announced Wellness, Kindness, Mindfulness, Inspiration. Since I had never before seen anything like it, surrounded as it was with offerings of Hollywood gossip and political distress, I had to buy it! I have not been disappointed.

3. This morning Psalm 57:8 sings out: Awake, O Spirit that sleeps within…So I myself can wake the dawn with music in the morning’s light. The commentary speaks of the divine Presence as so powerful that it can affect changes in the outer world.

4. Last but not least, Alan Cohen (A Deep Breath of Life) uses the image of how shoes are all lined up neatly at the entrance of a Japanese house – except his which were “criss-crossed and strewn out of line.”

Happily, I have come to feel that God is not wagging a finger at me when I fall out of consciousness these days. I trust that God is smiling with me when I return from the mindless, interfering thoughts to renewed awareness of the Divine Presence that comes with my next breath in the now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can You Hear It?

28 Friday Jul 2017

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Ancient Songs Sung Anew, divine energy, Divine Presence, evolution, instruction, listening, natural word, nature, reality, silence, still, Teilhard de Chardin, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, universe

abutterflybabyIn keeping with what I said yesterday about Chardin’s vision of evolution in the universe, today we have Psalm 19 in the lectionary readings. One commentator sees this psalm as containing “a grand cosmological vision of a vast universe, alive and full of the divine Presence.” In this psalm we hear the message that God’s word is heard through the natural world as well as in church sermons and our life experiences. I am always happy to read and hear others speak of the importance of the natural world as a conduit of God’s presence and teaching since I learn a lot from observing the depth and function of nature. Here is a suggestion for all of us, the busy people of the world, that might be something to try with the goal of opening us more fully to a deeper way of seeing.

Sometimes our difficulty is that we are not silent and still long enough to hear the subtleties of this quiet yet pervasive form of instruction. Allow yourself to become still and silent for a period of inner and outer listening. Listen with your whole being. Ask this divine energy and communication flowing through you to become a cleansing wind blowing the dust and debris away and opening you more fully to God’s inner Reality. (Ancient Songs Sung Anew, p.46)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do You Really Know?

09 Thursday Mar 2017

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community, conscious loving, give, grow, Joan Chittister, listening, love, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Wisdom Distilled from the Daily

alistenerI feel myself sounding like a broken record sometimes lately but the prompts are everywhere. Today it was Joan Chittister, in her book Wisdom Distilled From the Daily, who took up the importance of listening to one another – really, deeply listening. She says the following in Chapter Two, Listening: The Key to Spiritual Growth.

Not to listen then, is not to grow. but more than that, to be unable to listen is to be unable to give as well. It is easy to know what is good for someone else. It is difficult to listen to them and let them define themselves…It takes a lot of listening to hear the needs of those around us before they even speak them. But there is no good human community without it. Listening and love are clearly of a piece. (pp. 18-19)

It is that last sentence that brings the crux of the issue to light. The lesson there calls me to assume nothing about another person unless s/he has revealed the pertinent information to me. A good exercise would be to think of persons whom I know well and ask myself questions about their likes and dislikes to see if I can answer for certain (things like foods, types of music, exercise choices – even colors…simple things) and then ask them for their answers. This would be most interesting, I think, if asking those with whom we share life on a regular basis, especially people that we love. We might be surprised about how people have grown and changed without our even noticing. Just a thought…another practice of conscious loving, this one closer to home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Voice of the Shepherd

18 Monday Apr 2016

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God's voice, Good Shepherd, Jesus, listening, longing, messages, psalm 42, sound recognition, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, voice

asheepLast night I took a chance and left my bedroom window open. Because the day had actually been warm enough to make me believe that spring had finally arrived, I thought that the fresh air would be worth the gamble on my being warm enough all night. Not only did I win that bet with myself but I didn’t need my alarm to wake me up this morning because the birds were busy very early and there was one outside with a big voice that sounded like a repetitive wake-up call. As I settled in with my coffee, I said aloud, “I don’t know who you are but I appreciate your call to slide me back from dreamland to this day.”

There it is again: hearing a voice – this time not one I recognize, but I’d be happy to be introduced to the bird it belongs to. This theme of sound recognition has been with me since my Saturday retreat and keeps calling me to pay attention. It wasn’t surprising then as I turned to the Scriptures of the day and found Jesus speaking of himself as the shepherd whose sheep hear his voice and follow him because they recognize his voice.

Juxtaposed with that gospel this morning is Psalm 42, a psalm of great longing for God. As the deer longs for running streams, so my soul longs for you, O God! Athirst is my soul for God, the living God. When shall I go and behold the face of God? Even here in the great desire to see God’s face there is the undercurrent of listening. I imagine native peoples walking through the woods as quietly as possible, listening for running water that they might slake their thirst (and avoid confrontation with danger, of course!).

Today, then, I hope to dedicate myself to listening intently – but also in a relaxed mode, not forcing anything – so that I may hear messages hidden in everyday events and conversations, insights shared in my spiritual practices group this afternoon or tones of voice in our chanting that lift my heart…In other words, I hope to stay awake all day to the longing for God that rises not only from my visual world but also from the sound of God’s voice everywhere present within and without.

Going Home

14 Thursday Jan 2016

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essential goodness, listening, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, potential joy, prayer, service, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, together

akindhandOur work at this meeting is complete. We have had three extraordinary days – intense and sometimes difficult, but never contentious – that yielded some surprising and welcome results. This was all done in an atmosphere of prayer and deep listening which,, for me, is the best explanation of our success. Meg Wheatley wrote something in her book, Perseverance, that expresses how I feel this morning; it could apply to any situation so I want to share it here.

The potential for joy is always present in us but, like everything in life, that potential only becomes evident in relationship. We can’t analyze whether joy exists, or hope to discover it from a remote, isolated position. We have to be together. We have to be in service to one another to discover our essential goodness.

Today I pray a blessing on the ten women who have shared these days with me and all the people who have welcomed us in so many ways here in St Louis, as well  as those who will welcome us home today or tomorrow in New York, Minnesota, California, Hawaii and Peru. May all of us – and all of you – help each other to discover our essential goodness every day!

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