For a long time I have wished for more time with less to do. I was reminded of that this morning when I read Psalm 27 which sang out:
One thing I ask of the Lord, this I seek: to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, that I may gaze on the loveliness of the Lord and contemplate God’s temple.”
It’s ironic really because since the second week of March — 46 days to be exact – I have been without a schedule and without restriction except to “STAY HOME” (as directed by our government) but have yet to dedicate time in any regular way to the contemplation of the “loveliness of the Lord.” I have participated in a virtual retreat by Zoom and have begun again the group book study that was interrupted mid-course last month…but that just happened this week and only takes 3 hours out of 24…
As I think of it, another irony is that the topic of the virtual retreat for this week is “Self-Compassion” and I wonder why I might be feeling guilty at this moment. I sit in my recliner and look at my meditation mat just three feet away, wondering why I am not sitting there right now and what it will take to finally move from recognition of lassitude to the discipline of meditation once again.
There are many lessons in this “season-out-of-time,” as I have come to call it. In conversations lately (zoom and telephone only!) I have been grateful to hear that I am not alone in what is probably a mild case of depression if not just an adjustment to life during a situation I have never before encountered.
As I think of it, I have not lost the sense of God’s presence always with me so perhaps attention to that fact is a way to achieve the same result as happens in a scheduled meditation session. That’s something to watch as I go forward…but I think today will lend itself to a scheduled “date” with God on my mat, because during this attempt to explain myself to myself, I am feeling a deeper longing for just such an event!