Good Conversation

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closer, conversation, curious, differences, different, good listening, judgment, listen, listening, Meg Wheatley, messages, relationship, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Turning To One Another

I’m up early to greet the day with Meg Wheatley’s book, turning to one another. (Yes, the title is written in all lower case letters – most likely to emphasize the desire to have a conversation of equality.) I haven’t visited this treasure for a long time but have been trying to live with its messages nonetheless. It all seems so timely now when, day by day, so much in the world seems so fractured. I don’t know why it called to me as I turned to set my coffee on my side table. Perhaps it’s the appearance of the book itself, skinny but tall and dressed in a coat of red and yellow on its spine. Here are the two paragraphs that wouldn’t let me go this morning.

I hope you’ll begin a conversation, listening for what’s new. Listen as best you can for what’s different, for what surprises you. See if this practice helps you learn something new. Notice whether you develop a better relationship with the person you’re talking with. If you try this with several people, you might find yourself laughing in delight as you realize how many unique ways there are to be human.

We have the opportunity many times a day, everyday, to be the one who listens to others, curious rather than certain. But the greatest benefit of all is that listening moves us closer. When we listen with less judgment, we always develop better relationship with each other. It’s not differences that divide us. It’s our judgments about each other that do. Curiosity and good listening bring us back together. (p.36)

 

 

 

 

 

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The Heart of It All

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Antoine de St. Exupery, consciousness, heart, invisible, judgment, Little Prince, love, mind, one, sacred heart of Jesus, see, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

How fitting for those gathered in this tiny town in Maine that we should be celebrating today the Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus. As we endeavor to move in prayer and practice from a stance of oneness, we are frequently reminded to “put the mind in the heart” and act from there. No judgment, no self-identification, just the love that flows out of a consciousness that we are all one. While not an easy goal, it is the simplest of practices – just breathing into the sense that the heart is central to our living and its steady beating is our lifeline to love.

For me, the Little Prince said it best. “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” (Antoine de St. Exupery)

 

 

 

 

 

A New Era

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chaplain, diversity, extravagance, joy, judgment, love, Meghan Markle, Prince Harry, radiant, royal wedding, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, unforgettable, warmth

I had no intention of watching the royal wedding this morning of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, primarily because television coverage began at 5:00 a.m. and secondarily because I was miffed at the extravagance of any dress, regardless of importance, that cost over $130,000. In addition, I was due at the start of a workshop day in our conference hall (across the yard from our house) before 9:00 and I was moving rather slowly, somewhat achy on this very rainy morning at 6:00. I was stopped in my attempt to manage a blog post, however, when I turned on my computer and found the ABC news team reporting the impending arrival of the bride. Seeing the huge, enthusiastic crowds lining the road, cheering, it was no contest; I was hooked.

Sometime later I read a line from the Washington Post that helped me to recognize the pettiness of my earlier reasoning. One of the authors, William Booth or Karla Adam, wrote mid-way through an excellent summary of the event: “Meghan Markle’s Givenchy wedding gown was beautiful. But the woman wearing it was unforgettable.” I couldn’t agree more. What the radiant bride and her equally unforgettable new husband achieved by the ceremony they brought to millions of people worldwide was truly momentous.

While stately and in many ways traditional, the ritual was punctuated with touches never before experienced in a British royal wedding. First, there was Meghan herself: an American actress, bi-racial and divorced, who passed muster to gain the permission of Queen Elizabeth to marry the beloved Harry. As a result, there were several American celebrities – many African American – and music selections that included modern American tunes as well as traditional High Church choir offerings. Two declamatory pieces stood out to me: the offering of petitionary prayers by the Queen’s own chaplain (an African American woman!) and the energetic – one might say “fiery” – sermon by the American Episcopal Presiding Bishop, delivered in the style of an old-fashioned Southern preacher. I smiled when he was at the peak of his bombastic point about the essence of love as the camera panned the crowd of proper Englishmen and women who were perhaps more than a bit challenged by this first African-American leader of the Episcopal Church in the United States.

In spite of all that, I had a feeling of quiet warmth and deep joy that seemed to permeate the event. Although a monumental celebration for the British people, it was surprisingly simple in many ways. It was only the children that processed in with the bride, joined at the halfway point by Prince Charles as escort and welcoming symbol of the royal family. There was no embellishment of the wedding ceremony itself, just the traditional vows, spoken meaningfully as always. And when the final blessing was given, no grand recessional ensued. The couple left by the side door with the bishops and Prince William. Only the congregation remained – silently – as a lovely cello solo gave pause for gratitude.

I am grateful as well to have had the opportunity for a lesson in what is important to recognize about judgments. The country of Great Britain has been changed by today’s event and so was I. I could easily have missed the opportunity to experience this wonderful example of unity in diversity founded in and fueled by love. And in addition I must admit that the dress and its 16-foot train was exquisite.

May God bless Meghan and Harry with a long and meaningful life together!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All the Time

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centering prayer, constantly, Divine Presence, judgment, meditation, morning, Psalm 105, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Synonyms for constantly: continuously, persistently, always, again and again, frequently, repeatedly, over and over…(You get the picture, yes?)

The first verse of today’s lectionary psalm calls to us: Look to the Lord in his strength; seek to serve him constantly. (PS 105:4) That adverb strikes a chord in me immediately. I think of the days I am very busy or late leaving for work in the morning and find myself grumpy or less effective during the day and wondering why. Then I realize that I did not take the time for my 20 minutes of centering prayer, an essential part of my morning routine. No kidding! It really makes a difference. It’s like taking vitamins or doing physical exercise.

Centering prayer is probably the simplest (although not always easy) meditation practice of all. It just requires the practitioner to sit down, make an intention to be in the Divine Presence and let go of thoughts. As the practice has deepened in me over the last eleven years, I have come to recognize the ability to let go of the habit of judgment – of myself, of other people and of situations or circumstances that used to bother me. Why would I not consent to God’s action in this brief pause each day? Good question as I prepare to sit and set my timer…

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Mercy

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abbot, Benedict, gracious, Joan Chittister, judgment, kindness, Lent, merciful, mercy, monastic life, perfection, Pope Francis, Psalm 95, spirituality, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Wisdom Distilled from the Daily, Year of Mercy

I’ve thought and talked a lot about mercy, especially since I came to understand that it has more to do with love than with pity. At the conclusion of the “Year of Mercy” declared by Pope Francis, it was suggested that we continue to keep that virtue front and center in our lives. Not a bad idea, it seems, in our broken, frustrating world as we attempt to maintain equilibrium and good faith each day.

Lent is a perfect time for practicing mercy and contemplating the breadth of what it can mean – not just as an aspect of God but in our human interactions as well. Psalm 95 acknowledges God’s mercy to us this morning with the refrain: The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and of great kindness. The Lord is good to all and compassionate toward all his works.

From the human side, Joan Chittister has a great paragraph about mercy in monastic life in her book Wisdom Distilled From the Daily. In speaking about the qualities of the abbot she writes the following which I find to be comforting as well as challenging.

The abbot must be more intent on mercy than on judgment. But if that is the case, then clearly Benedict knew the world was made up of the very imperfect, the very human where a great deal of mercy would be necessary as we each wound our stumbling, human way to God. We, on the other hand, find it so hard not to expect perfection of ourselves and, because of that, to expect it of others as well. We drive ourselves and drive everyone around us beyond any achievable standard and then wonder why we fail and fail and fail. Benedictine spirituality says that life is a set of weaknesses in search of wholeness and we must be patient with one another’s growth. (p. 115)

The Lion and the Lamb

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dead of winter, hope, Isaiah, judgment, life, Peace, peaceable kingdom, prayer, presence, signs, silence, strength, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, tree, vision

Today we have one of Isaiah’s more familiar, even famous, visions. It is his powerful vision of “the day of the Lord,” describing what has come to be known as The Peaceable Kingdom. (IS 11:1-10) There are so many vivid images, some that we see on Christmas cards, some we recognize from observation of the world around us.

I believe I have spoken here of the hibiscus bush (tree?) that was moved in our yard a couple of years ago. It seemed very clear that it did not survive the transition. The surge of hope that ran through me on the day I discovered not only leaves on one of the branches but also buds seemed excessive but for me it was a clear sign that life is in some ways an inside job and occasionally we have to trust what we cannot see.

Waiting for peace in our country and world seems as futile and far away right now as the possibility of cows and bears being neighbors or babies playing by a cobra’s den. It’s clear that while waiting (patience) is important, there is more to be expected of us. How peaceable is my approach to others? Do I jump to judgment in whatever I read? Are rumors ever my “stock in trade” or do I know how to be in silence – to dwell occasionally with oppositional thought until the walls in my mind or at least in my heart are dissolved like smoke? Do I ever connect myself energetically with people in other countries around the world where people seem so strange to me? What power does the word “enemy” have in my life?

Today I look out at the tallest of trees across the yard. She stands stripped of all her fair-weather clothing and each branch – even to the tiniest of shoots – is exposed. In the “dead of winter” I know that life remains in that tree, that she is shoring up her strength to be ready for the spring when she will bloom again. Where is my willingness to be like that tree today, able to stand strong, stripped perhaps of easy answers and solutions but willing to offer my strength of honest purpose, my prayer and presence to move my world just a step closer to the realization of Isaiah’s dream?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of Gnats and Camels

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camels, fidelity, fully human, gnats, hypocrites, injustice, Jesus, judgment, love, Matthew, mercy, Pharisees, Philippians, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, tithes

Sometimes in reading the gospels I am really convinced that Jesus was, as St. Paul tells us in the letter to the Philippians, fully human. On some occasions, Jesus gets really frustrated, as today in Matthew 23:23-26, when he takes the “Pharisees and hypocrites” to task for their behavior. No one could miss his point, but some of the images he uses to make those points are downright funny! I can just see him gathering steam as he goes into his condemnatory statement. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, he says. You pay tithes of mint and dill and cumin (really lightweight spices) and have neglected the weightier things of the law: judgment and mercy and fidelity. But these you should have done, without neglecting the others. Sounds like a reasonable speech so far, but wait for it…Here comes the punch line in case they missed the point: Blind guides, who strain out the gnat and swallow the camel!

Just picture trying to take that sentence literally. Imagine the exasperation that caused Jesus to resort to such an extreme. It was the injustice of the powerful toward the “lowly ones” that he saw, not unlike some of what is going on today in many quarters. Some days, when the weather is so muggy that bugs abound, I need to remind myself to keep my mouth closed when I’m outside so I don’t inadvertently swallow a bug. It’s more of a mentally unpleasant experience than a difficult physical one but always distasteful nevertheless. Multiply it maybe a thousand times or more to get the size of a camel and it’s easy to see the extent of injustice of which Jesus speaks. No one should be allowed that level of power over another, and Jesus knew it.

May we call out injustice wherever we see it in our society. May we also beware of swallowing camels in our dealings with each other and even try to avoid the gnats of everyday living as we choose to walk the path where the constant measure of things is love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking with the Eyes of Love

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complain, Jesus, judgment, letter of james, love, model, motivations, politics, the eyes of God, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Again today the Letter of James stops me at the first line. Do not complain, brothers and sisters, he says, that you may not be judged. (JAS 5:9). I actually didn’t even need the second half of that dictum to know the importance of the message. I hope I’m past the “God’s gonna get you” motivation and onto the example of Jesus as the model for my speech and actions. But as I think again I realize how automatic judging others is if I see everything from my own perspective, my own frame of reference in looking at the world. It’s hard to get out of our own mind to see through the eyes of others.

Examples abound in society, the clearest one at the moment being the national political campaign in the United States this year. What comes to mind when I hear the name Donald Trump…or Hillary Clinton…or Bernie Sanders? How convinced am I that my ideas on the matter are the correct ones? More to the point, am I willing to allow the ideas of others who do not hold the same point of view? Am I willing to entertain that point of view by really listening to another or am I totally dismissive, convinced that I am correct in my judgment?

More important, perhaps, in my everyday living are the judgments I make about the people I encounter. Am I willing to look beyond words or actions to the depths of the persons about whom I am complaining? Do I know what might be motivating behaviors that I find unacceptable? The rush to judgment is sometimes so automatic that I haven’t even given the person a chance! We judge on looks and manner of speech and level of education and what people do to earn a living instead of what we don’t know of their lives. We complain about the person at home or at work who isn’t as productive as we consider ourselves to be, without having the slightest inkling of the thoughts of their hearts or the depth of their relationship with God.

I sound as if I’m ranting – and, actually, as if I’m complaining about everyone who isn’t like me! Not so! I just find it sad that we miss so much goodness because we are programmed somehow to see things without really seeing them. Today is a day to try looking with the eyes of God – both looking in and looking out in love. A worthy project indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Weight of Evidence

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condemn, discernment, guilt, innocence, Jesus, John, judge, judgment, justice, law, Nicodemus, Pharisees, psalm 7, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Both the psalm and the gospel in this morning’s lectionary remind me of a basic principle of law in the United States of America, i.e. “innocent until proven guilty.” We are still in chapter 7 of John’s gospel where people are divided about Jesus. As yesterday, they are convinced he cannot be the messiah because he comes from Galilee but the guards say to the authorities, “No one has ever spoken like this man!” The Pharisees are still resistant asking, “Have any of the authorities or the Pharisees believed in him?” (as if position alone yields probity.) It is Nicodemus that enters then and asks my question: “Does our law condemn a man before it first hears him and finds out what he is doing?” Would that this question always be raised at moments of personal and/or public judging in our lives!

The psalmist turns the job of judging over to God, as in psalm 7 he cries out: Judge us, judge me, judge everything and all that’s in your care. Weigh me on the scale of innocence, according to your law, and as you establish justice, bring evil to an end. For this I know, you are the source of justice done, the fairest judge of all. You know what’s in the human heart to the very secrets of the soul. You are also the great protecting one, you shield the good, defending all that’s true. (vs. 8-11)

The faculty of judgment in the manner of discernment is essential to our lives in assessing what is beneficial and what is not – from what we ought to eat, to wear, to spend our money on, etc. When judging moves into the public arena, however, where we begin to assess the intelligence, worthiness of respect, good character – or any other quality – of another person or the rightness in a situation, we ought to be sure we have spent the time and energy it takes to really make an informed judgment. And, in truth, we would be better off leaving that kind of judgment to God, letting love be the measure of our lives. I will try today to notice how quickly I move to judgment in my thoughts throughout the day and I will try to keep those thoughts to myself for the benefit of all!

Kenosis

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centering prayer, control, crucifixion, emptied, Holy Week, Jesus, judgment, kenosis, Last Supper, letting go, meditation, paschal mystery, Paul, Philippians, prejudice, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

There is a concept in Paul’s letter to the Philippians that describes a path of spirituality that was the way of Jesus (PHIL 2:6-11). The Greek word kenosis means “emptying out” and as a theological principle calls us to empty ourselves of everything in order to be filled with God. In a practical way it means living simply so as not to be distracted by “things” as well as letting go of judgments and prejudices in order to move toward unity with all of creation and ultimately with God. Paul expresses it in the following way: Although he was in the form of God, Jesus did not deem equality with God as something to be grasped at. Rather he emptied himself being born in the likeness of humanity…

Centering prayer is a spiritual practice that has become important in my life as a means of imitation of this kenotic path of Jesus. This meditation practice is a prayer of intention where one sits for a period of time in silence (usually 20-30 minutes). The intention includes the gentle letting go of any thoughts that come during that time, not pushing them away but letting them go in order to return to God’s presence. It is simple but not easy, as our minds are continually in motion. I can attest, however, that over years of such practice there is, in the gesture of letting go of thoughts, a deeper letting go happening where one slowly becomes able to let go of judgments and prejudices and needing control of situations and relationships, etc. It does not mean becoming dispassionate and passive in life but rather more positive and accepting of all manner of experiences. It is, I believe, how Jesus could surrender to all that was asked of him, even to his death. It is how I hope to move toward each challenge that life offers for imitation of Christ. The rituals of the Paschal Mystery that we celebrate this week give us ample evidence of the kenotic actions of Jesus, from the washing of the disciples’ feet at the Last Supper to the Crucifixion – an example and opportunity not to be missed!