Sunday Morning, Still In the Dark

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appearances, enjoying each other, judging others, Meg Wheatley, stereotypes, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Turning Toward One Another

This morning, another entry from Meg Wheatley – from a different book of hers:

Whenever we get past the categories and stereotypes, when we greet each other as interesting individuals, we are always surprised by who we are. I’m sure you’ve had the experience of stereotyping someone because of their appearance, and then being surprised when they didn’t fit that judgment. This has happened to me so often you’d think I wouldn’t keep labeling people – a laborer in ill-fitting clothes who talked to me about his love of Shakespeare, a youth with brightly dyed blue hair and body piercings who described his work teaching non-violence to young children, a factory worker who shared her poetry, a desperately poor village woman who invited me in to her immaculate one-room home. But still I am surprised. When will I be free of these categories that prevent me from enjoying who you are? (turning toward one another, p. 117)

 

 

 

 

 

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Eye Problems

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conversation, differences, eye, Jesus, judging others, live and let live, Matthew, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, tragic flaws

Sometimes I’m convinced that I have something in my eye but it turns out that my 70-year old eyes just need a little lubrication on occasion. That’s an easy fix as were the days when, as a child, I occasionally had to go to my mother for help with getting something tiny like a fleck of dirt or – at worst – an eyelash out of my eye. It was always amazing how much larger the offending material appeared than it really was.

Jesus must have been really disturbed by the judgmental behavior of his disciples in today’s gospel text to use such hyperbolic language about seeing clearly. It’s that quote from Matthew 7:1-5 where he warns them to stop judging unless they want to be similarly judged. His follow-up question points to just how serious an infraction judging people is. “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye” he says, “but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?” Even a wooden splinter would be quite painful.

It seems to me that judging others is one of our most common “tragic flaws.” We judge people by what they wear, how they style their hair, the color of their skin and where they live as represented by the accent in their speech. How ridiculous is that? One of the more recent red flags for harsh judgment is body art (tattoos) or piercings. Before judging why someone would want to “do that to their body,” we might want to think about that “why” question.

I could go on but I already clearly experienced the message in the middle of the second paragraph when I had to stop writing and put drops in my eyes. (This is not a joke. I really had to do that!) So here’s a suggestion that might make a difference in our consciousness. Before we decide to just “live and let live,” why not strike up a conversation with someone different in some way from you and see if you can come to understand just a bit more deeply why the person looks, speaks or acts in a different manner from you. If we do that, maybe we wouldn’t need so much help getting those planks out of our eyes!

 

 

 

 

 

Judge Not…

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Acts of the Apostles, compassion, conversion, ignore, judging others, love, politics, righteousness, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I almost disregarded the first reading from today’s lectionary (ACTS 9:1-20) – not because it held nothing worthy of comment but because it seemed so familiar. I know the story of Paul’s conversion and know that it appears in the liturgical calendar more than once a year. I decided, however, to read it again for a possible point of inspiration and, of course, I was not disappointed.

What struck me this morning was the response of Ananias when he was told in a vision to go and get Paul from the house on Straight Street and lay hands on him so that Paul would regain his sight. Ananias was not pleased to have been given this task for two reasons. He had heard from others about the evil Paul had perpetrated against the people of Jerusalem and, secondly, in Damascus Paul had authority from the chief priests to imprison the followers of Jesus. It was unthinkable to him that the Lord would choose Paul as an instrument for spreading the news of Christ. Good arguments, to be sure, but in the end, at the final command, “Go,” he went.

So I’m thinking about how difficult it is sometimes to follow the laws that Christ has set before us, laws of love and compassion and generosity to those we think do not deserve to be helped. It would sometimes be easier to ignore the grumpy people, the lazy ones or those whose politics do not mirror our own. Surrender of our own sense of righteousness is rarely easy. Sometimes, however, in the surrender we find small – or great – miracles. After all, it was Ananias who became the instrument of Saul’s cure. As soon as he laid hands on Paul, announcing he was sent by the Lord, the scales fell from Paul’s eyes and he was baptized.

What might happen if we determined to welcome all those above-mentioned people whom we would rather avoid? What might we learn from engagement in their lives? How much larger might our own lives become because of the merits of diversity we would gain? And what if we resisted judging people because others had told us what they were like rather than seeing them for ourselves? Let us think on these things…

 

 

 

 

 

Last Judgment

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generosity, Jesus, judging others, Luke, merciful, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

In case anyone was in doubt about the meaning of the directive at the beginning of today’s gospel passage where Jesus said, “Be merciful, just as your heavenly Father is merciful,” the rest of the short text (LK 6:36-38) sounds like a “call and response” chant that a teacher might use in school to define what s/he means. Teacher: “When I say ‘Stop judging,’ you say…” Students: “And you will not be judged.” Following are prompts to stop condemning, forgive, and give, with the overarching conclusion that “the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.”

Even though that clearly sounds like “tit-for-tat” or giving to get, I never think of it that way, most likely because I continually see Jesus moving us toward more generosity. It is, however, quite clear – in a staccato sort of way – that we need to wake up to an inventory of our behaviors to see how we’re treating one another. I’m pretty good, I think, in the giving and forgiving arenas and I try never to condemn anyone because I rarely know the depth of anyone else’s heart. Judging, though, is just so easy to do! It seems to arise almost automatically sometimes. I think I’ll be working on that one until I take my last breath, but if I breathe out the last of my judgments at that moment, I guess I will have made the grade in God’s embrace.

 

 

 

 

 

As God Sees

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appearances, David, heart, Jesse, judging others, Samuel, tattoo, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I am remembering a time when my cousin’s daughter was dating a tattoo artist and relatives in my generation began to worry about her reputation as piercing and tattoos began to appear on her body. Never mind that she was bright and attending college while living with her grandparents to help them as they aged. Never mind her wonderful personality and winning smile, because tattooed ladies did not belong in our family! Now when “body art” is everywhere, my young cousin is moving toward the ripe old age of 40 and is recognized by everyone as the brilliant star that she has always been, if only others had taken the time to truly know her.

How often we judge by appearances! Today’s lesson from chapter 16 of the first book of Samuel has a great example of the danger of that stance. As Samuel was introduced to seven sons of Jesse from whom Saul’s successor was to be chosen, God kept saying, “Nope, not him!” until there were none left before him. (It sounds a little bit like a comedy routine if we imagine Samuel getting more and more agitated every time God rejects one of those presented to him.) When Samuel says to Jesse, “Don’t you have anyone else???” (Can’t you hear the exasperation?) Jesse had to wake up to the fact that it might be David, the youngest, the sheep herder, the dreamer that God had chosen. And so it was.

It’s a great story and an important lesson for us – not to judge a person by clothing or speech or degree of education or position in the work-a-day world…because not as humans see does God see, because people judge the appearance but the Lord looks into the heart. (1 SM 16:7) I will remember that today as I go about my various appointments and look for clues to the hearts beating all around me.

 

 

 

 

 

What’s My Line?

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appearances, encounter, God looks into the heart, Jesse, judging others, King David, King Saul, lifelong companion, non-judgmental, occupation, relationship, Samuel, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

When I was young, early in the television “game show” era there was a program called “What’s my line?” where panelists who were blindfolded attempted to guess the occupation of the guest by asking questions that began by eliminating large categories of careers and then became more and more particularized until finally someone (usually) guessed the person’s work. The first reading for today (1 SM 16:1-13) brought this show to mind although it barely seems to have relevance except perhaps in the process of eliminating people for a job rather than the other way around.

God is looking for a replacement for King Saul and tells Samuel to go to the House of Jesse where he will find God’s anointed one. Jesse had seven sons whom he presented to Samuel who thought even as he saw Eliab, the first son to appear, that “surely the Lord’s anointed is here before Him.” But God said to Samuel, “Do not judge from his appearance or from his lofty stature, because I have rejected him. Not as man sees does God see, because he sees the appearance but God looks into the heart.” Samuel must’ve been getting nervous as one by one the seven were rejected by God. Thankfully, when he asked, “Are these all the sons you have?” the answer was yes and, as we know, the youngest, the sheepherder, became the great King David, God’s beloved, from whose line Jesus was born.

Just two days ago I spoke of clothing and how we often judge by appearance. Here it is again. The italicized sentence is good advice for us if we are trying to live a good and godly life. “Looking into the heart” can’t be done in a quick encounter, unless it leads to a deep and meaningful conversation. Usually it takes some time for a relationship to develop, for trust to become the basis for sharing. There are exceptions, times when God surprises us with unexpected people who appear on our path for the first time and who, from that first encounter (which includes that deep and meaningful first conversation), become life-long companions. Our job is to stay alert for the gifts of relationship, whether they seem to come instantaneously or grow incrementally. If we foreclose on possibility without exploration, we always lose.

So blessings on all of us whose desire is to be non-judgmental, who welcome people into our hearts and give them the opportunity to find God’s presence there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Something in Your Eye?

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awareness, clarity of vision, finding fault, honesty, Jesus, judging others, Matthew, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I’m amazed on the rare occasions when I get something in my eye that feels very big to find out that it’s a little speck of dirt or something similar in size. Thus, when Jesus says, “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?” (MT:7:1-5), I can only say “OUCH!” His point is well made about our willingness to judge the small faults of others while totally ignoring our own glaring ones. Clarity of vision is a function of inner seeing as much as a physical function. It takes honesty and awareness to see the truth of both our gifts and our faults and to admit imperfection when we find it in ourselves. And it takes just as much effort to refrain from finding fault with others – but a worthy effort indeed.