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expectation, honesty, humility, intention, Matthew, Philippians, promise, The Sophia Center for Spirituality
Say what you mean and mean what you say. That seems to be an adage that has gone out of favor these days. It’s easy to agree with what is being asked if your opinion is requested, especially if disagreement would meet with disapproval or argument. But what happens if that conversation is followed by expectation of performance? I’m speaking about situations like that of the gospel reading today. (MT 21:28-32)
The father had two sons. He told the first one to go and work in his vineyard. The son refused but later went as he had been asked. When the father gave the same directive to his second son, this one agreed to go but did not fulfill that promise to his father. Jesus uses this parable to illustrate belief/non-belief in “the way of righteousness.” Having read the preceding text (PHIL 2:6-11) from Paul’s letter to the Philippians, I was drawn also to the qualities of honesty and humility in speech and performance found there and as they relate to the gospel.
If I am asked to do something, the hope is that I will be honest in my reply and the fulfillment or denial of the request. Sometimes it takes humility – emptying ourselves of our own will – to do what is asked of us as well as to be honest about our intention to do or not do it. Even more frequent perhaps is the case in which we are simply asked our opinion on something controversial. If you know you disagree with the majority, are you willing to state an honest opinion? When might that be difficult for you? Why?
The beginning of a new week is always a good time to take a breath and see what lies ahead. That task presupposes a look at the calendar to be sure we have noted all the “goings-on” and the preparation necessary for each event. I’m reminded of that practice by the first line from this morning’s psalm that prays: Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain wisdom of heart. (PS 90:12) The first clause of that sentence sounds like the necessity of knowing what day and date it is (something that escapes me sometimes lately) but the second clause adds a goal to the “numbering.” It implies good time management but also good choices about how we are spending the time that we have.
I woke up this morning at around 3:00 and realized about ten minutes later that I was not likely to go back to sleep as my mind had begun ticking off things on an already-made list and things that I needed to add for completion in the next few days. I gave up trying and, in a rare move, got up to read what was left of our “assignment” for the book club meeting tomorrow. I smiled at God’s sense of humor as I read the chapter heading: Intention: Slow Down. Sprinkled throughout the chapters of this book (Life Is A Verb by Patti Digh) there are activities which the author calls challenges. What I read before I was finally able to go back to sleep for two more hours certainly fell under that title. There were two parts to the challenge. I was happy to see the first part because I have recently begun such a practice – at least while I eat – but the second will, I think, be the more difficult process for me. Here is what Patti recommended.
I got a phone call yesterday from the convener of a group of women that I am scheduled to address on Saturday of this week. She called to tell me that the registration is now up to 39 people! I asked her if someone was paying the women to come since she originally told me that there would probably be about twenty registrants. As we laughed and discussed things like room set-up and schedule, I began to rethink how I might restructure the day so that all the women would have a chance to be heard in such a large gathering. I was happy when the convener began to speak of tables of six because most people are comfortable speaking in a group of that size. I will want to speak in the beginning of the importance of deep listening without judgment as we tend to jump on one another’s thoughts and interrupt each other when our experiences seem to mirror that of the person speaking. In that way we lose something of the sacredness of the exchange. Sporadic moments of silence to remind ourselves will be essential.
Some years ago I had the privilege of visiting the town of Assisi in Italy. The visit was brief and the focus was, as one might think, the holy places associated with St. Francis. It was an extraordinary six hours, and I often long to return for a longer visit. One of my most vivid memories, however, was not of the places and stories of Francis alone – although those remain as well – but of walking down the path to the Church of San Damiano. Somehow, the olive trees that lined the path seemed to shimmer in the sunlight as if they were saying to me, “Pay attention, for this place you are approaching is extraordinarily holy.” San Damiano became the home of St. Clare and her followers in 1212 and she never left but died there on August 11, 1253. The intense holiness of the saint and her Sisters, who lived a poor and very simple life of prayer, can be felt in the walls of the refectory, in the oratory where they prayed and the dormitory where a cross marks the spot of Clare’s death. What, one wonders, creates such a living vibration in a place where life was so “daily?” Intention and motivation, I suspect. A famous quote of St. Clare gives a hint of an answer.
Three impressions opened before me a moment ago that were like steps to a conclusion. Here was the order: 1. As I turned on my computer I thought: “July first. New month, new incentive.” 2. My eye fell on the title of a book that someone had recently given me for our library. It’s called A Way Without Words and is subtitled A Guide for Spiritually Emerging Adults. 3. I read the prayer and affirmation for July first in Alan Cohen’s book, A Deep Breath of Life. Taken together those two said, “Help me remember my purpose and live the highest life possible. I honor my purpose of divine expression. I am here to love, learn and serve. 