The Will To Be Honest

Tags

expectation, honesty, humility, intention, Matthew, Philippians, promise, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Say what you mean and mean what you say. That seems to be an adage that has gone out of favor these days. It’s easy to agree with what is being asked if your opinion is requested, especially if disagreement would meet with disapproval or argument. But what happens if that conversation is followed by expectation of performance? I’m speaking about situations like that of the gospel reading today. (MT 21:28-32)

The father had two sons. He told the first one to go and work in his vineyard. The son refused but later went as he had been asked. When the father gave the same directive to his second son, this one agreed to go but did not fulfill that promise to his father. Jesus uses this parable to illustrate belief/non-belief in “the way of righteousness.” Having read the preceding text (PHIL 2:6-11) from Paul’s letter to the Philippians, I was drawn also to the qualities of honesty and humility in speech and performance found there and as they relate to the gospel.

If I am asked to do something, the hope is that I will be honest in my reply and the fulfillment or denial of the request. Sometimes it takes humility – emptying ourselves of our own will – to do what is asked of us as well as to be honest about our intention to do or not do it. Even more frequent perhaps is the case in which we are simply asked our opinion on something controversial. If you know you disagree with the majority, are you willing to state an honest opinion? When might that be difficult for you? Why?

Postscript

Tags

Advent, authenticity, charity, courage, faith, forgiveness, honesty, humility, Joyce Rupp, kindness, Lent, loyalty, mercy, patience, Prayer Seeds, qualities, reflection, respect, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, understanding

As travelers begin homeward journeys after celebrating Thanksgiving and those of us who enjoyed blessed companionship at home find ways to re-prepare turkey and “fixins,” Joyce Rupp offers a prayer. It is only one paragraph but holds a wealth of reflection should we accept the invitation of the 13 qualities that could take us far down a road of spiritual growth. Practicing one a week for 13 weeks would take us to the cusp of Lent. One a month, if the starting line was December 2, would span 2019 in fine style as a response to the holiday we have just observed. Why not write each one on a post-it note or index card and display it on the refrigerator or the inside of the exit door to your home and watch for how it affects things during its turn as your practice? What can we lose? What will we most certainly gain?

Sower of Seeds, you have placed in our hearts the potential for many gifts of your love to grow and ripen. Charity, authenticity, mercy, honesty, humility, forgiveness, loyalty, patience, understanding, courage, kindness, faith, respect, and other qualities reflective of your goodness dwell in our interior fields and garden…(Prayer Seeds, p. 181)

Jealousy

Tags

change, David, envy, friends, Goliath, gratitude, honesty, jealousy, King Saul, same, Samuel, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, truth

Jealousy is a very dangerous trait in a person. It seems to me a bit more serious than envy although it appears in the dictionary as envy’s synonym. I might be envious of someone’s good looks or good luck but, if I have a positive attitude about my own life, I don’t spend a lot of time comparing my lot with those of others. If jealousy takes hold of my life, however, it can lead to wishing harm to others – sometimes instigating events that will cause very bad things to happen.

In this morning’s lectionary reading from the first book of Samuel (1 SM 18:6-9, 19:1-7) we read about what seems like a childish attitude on the part of King Saul who is returning from a great victory over the Philistines. At his side was David, the hero that we know from his fame with his slingshot; he used it to slay the giant, Goliath. Everyone was singing and dancing as Saul and David approached. Unfortunately, the lyrics to their song (“Saul has slain his thousands and David his ten thousands”) planted the seed of jealousy in Saul and as it grew he feared that David would take over the kingship of Israel.

It’s always good to have a friend who can see such a situation honestly and speak the truth to the parties. In this case it was fortuitous because Jonathan was both Saul’s son and David’s friend. Well-placed to see the situation as it truly was, Jonathan convinced Saul (for the moment at least) that David had been a faithful servant, desiring nothing but the good of the nation and, in fact, had helped Saul very much by his deeds.

Two adages come to mind as I think about applications of this story for us. The French are known to say: Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose (The more things change, the more they stay the same) and in English we hear that it was ever thus. In our culture of today, there is so much pressure to get ahead, to be the best (which means the most successful or the richest), to climb to the top of the corporate ladder – as well as to be the best-dressed, most glamorous, the richest. We do well to cultivate the qualities of honesty, gratitude and the willingness to be satisfied with what we have and who we are. Oh yes, and don’t forget to thank God for good friends!

 

 

 

 

 

Truth-telling

Tags

Alan Cohen, forgive, God, honesty, live from the heart, love, psalm 32, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, truth

Sometimes it seems too difficult to tell “the whole truth and nothing but the truth” when such speaking will reveal a fault or failing about ourselves. It seems much easier to obfuscate – a great word that means to obscure, blur or overcomplicate things so we don’t look so bad in the eyes of other people. The difficulty with this practice is that it doesn’t make us feel better because we have hidden our true self; rather we feel worse. The irony is that many times the failure we’re trying to cover up is so minor that we are the only ones who would judge it harshly if it were known. Everyone else would easily forgive the imperfection.

There are many reasons why we are so obsessed with perfection: culture, family values, education…The goal is to “get over ourselves.” Starting the process with God might be a good idea since we have it on good  authority that God will forgive anything if we just admit it. Psalm 32 tells us that this morning, saying, Then I acknowledged my sin to You; my guilt I covered not. I said, “I confess my faults to the Lord,” and You took away my guilt.

Alan Cohen offers a brief prayer in the same mode that addresses God as follows: I want to live from my heart. Help me to be me, without hiding or protecting. Short and to the point, that just might help us to turn our hearts to honest speaking more each day and find the love for ourselves and trust in others that God already possesses in our regard.

 

 

 

 

 

Visionary Seeing

Tags

Alan Cohen, connect, gaze, honesty, joining, look, one, see, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Wisdom School

Last evening we welcomed 14 people to a Wisdom School here in Windsor. As an ice breaker, we made two concentric circles, facing each other, with the inner circle moving one person to the right each time a chime rang – once every 15 seconds. The task was simply to look the person in front of us in the eyes and hold that gaze until it was time to move.

I am not fond of that kind of exercise because it can be awkward and revealing to really look deeply at someone for a sustained period, but 15 seconds was relatively easy. It reveals something of ourselves to the other and we must be ready to offer it!

I was surprised to find Alan Cohen’s reflection today on the same topic. He is speaking of a chat the was having with an acquaintance that became something different when he said, “I caught Steve’s eyes and for a moment I could really see him. I saw beyond his job and his fear, and I saw the person that he was. I thanked him for his honesty…That moment was worth everything to me. It stood out in contrast to a day of unconscious business like a delicate flower growing in a pile of rubble. In that moment I remembered what friendship and human relations are all about. They are not about stuff and talk and presentation; they are about people joining in the place where we are one.”

Let us greet people today in genuine willingness to connect and offer ourselves in conscious and honest connection to each other for the good of all.

Words from a Samurai Warrior

Tags

awareness, benevolence, character, divine power, friend, home, honesty, Hurricane Maria, inner strength, lost everything, Meg Wheatley, mindfulness, miracles, parents, perseverance, right action, Samurai, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Thinking about the situation of those in the path today of Hurricane Maria, people who will be blasted for the second time in two weeks by devastation, I picked up Meg Wheatley’s book, Perseverance, since there is nothing I can say of any relevance on my own. What I found was a quote from a 14th century Japanese Samurai Warrior. It was not what I was looking for but did make me think. What if it seemed I had lost everything? I mused. What would be left that would make me refuse to lie down and die? The answer focused on inner strength and so I repeat it here as a hope for those whose lives seem empty at this moment and a way to consider hope when all outer hope is gone.

• I have no parents: I make the heavens and earth my parents.
• I have no home: I make awareness my home.
• I have no divine power: I make honesty my divine power.
• I have no means: I make understanding my means.
• I have no magic secrets: I make character my magic secrets.
• I have no miracles: I make right action my miracles.
• I have no friends: I make my mind my friend.
• I have no enemy: I make carelessness my enemy.
• I have no armor: I make benevolence and righteousness my armor.

Think on these things and then, perhaps, create your own list of your inner strengths.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Judging!

Tags

Center Prayer and Inner Awakening, centering prayer, clarify, Cynthia Bourgeault, hearsay, honesty, Jesus, judge, Matthew, Ope Mind Open Heart, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Keating

One of the “tricky” faculties of the human mind is our ability to judge. We need to be “razor-sharp” in using the quality of discrimination – knowing first the two sides of that “coin” – while refraining from making judgments based on insufficient information, hearsay or our own narrow perspective. To clarify what might sound rather complicated in that sentence, I have two examples.

1. In Matthew’s gospel text for this morning I heard Jesus say to his disciples: Stop judging, that you may not be judged…Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?…(MT 7:1-5) Jesus is so clear in asking us to look in the mirror of honesty rather than thinking too much of ourselves in relationship to others.
2. I always explain to people who ask, that the major positive effect that my ten years of centering prayer* has had in my life is that it has made me a less judgmental person. The practice of letting go of thoughts during the prayer allows me to “let go” of other things in daily living. Circumstances that would have previously caused me consternation are often “just the way it is” now – including times when I have felt myself less than successful. That helps me to allow other people to be imperfect as well.

The key to all of this discrimination (the good side of seeing honestly, i.e. the difference between one thing and another, as in “discrimination between right and wrong” rather than a prejudicial stance toward a category of things – or people) is awareness. We need to wake up to our thoughts and where they come from, to our motivations and where they move us. Walking mindfully through our days is a goal to be achieved one moment at a time.

*See Cynthia Bourgeault’s book Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening and/or Thomas Keating’s Open Mind, Open Heart.

 

 

 

 

 

Word from the Samurai

Tags

awareness, benevolence, centering prayer, character, honesty, Jesus, kenotic, letting go, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, righteousness, Samurai, self-discipline, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, understanding

Yesterday I wrote about extremes – rigidity and/or laxity in regard to observance of law. This morning I read a passage from a Samurai warrior in 14th century Japan quoted in the book, Perseverance, by Meg Wheatley that seemed a good example of the rigid end of the spectrum of self-discipline. As I began to reflect on its meaning, however, I could see from a somewhat different perspective the kenotic way of life that Jesus came to teach us, the “letting go” that practitioners of centering prayer hope to achieve. If it seems extreme, take another look; see if there is not value in deep reflection on the meaning.

I have no parents: I make the heavens and earth my parents. I have no home: I make awareness my home. I have no divine power: I make honesty my divine power. I have no means: I make understanding my means. I have no magic secrets: I make character my magic secret. I have no miracles: I make right action my miracles. I have no friends: I make my mind my friend. I have no enemy: I make carelessness my enemy. I have no armor: I make benevolence and righteousness my armor. (Wheatley, p. 134)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Turn on the Light

Tags

agency of Christ, Christ, Corinthians, honesty, light of love, light up the world, reconciliation, reconciling, St. Paul, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, willingness

St. Paul has great ability in his letters to write a sentence that is more than enough for a day’s reflection. It happened again today in the verse before the gospel. Paul says: God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. (2 COR 5:19) That strikes me this morning as a strong energy stream swirling through our universe from God, using the agency of Christ to light up the world, energizing us as the stream passes through us in our time and place, leaving the light for us to pass on. Reconciliation, it seems to me, is the only way to save the world now – and it takes the light of love to pierce the darkness of brokenness clustering all over the world. It takes willingness and honesty to accept the trust God calls from us: to be that message of reconciliation. But what is the alternative? It is often said that if we aren’t part of the solution we are part of the problem so it must be time to turn on our light and get about the mission.

The Right Thing to Say

Tags

conversation, feelings, Holy Spirit, honesty, John, Matthew, synchronicity, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, truth

Coming late to this usually first of my daily tasks, I have had two significant conversations in the past four hours about honesty regarding feelings, especially about our responses to the requests (or even demands) others make of us or our time. It isn’t always easy to tell the truth in difficult situations, especially if the difficulty arises because of the good intentions of those who are telling us what would be good for us.

I found it interesting that the gospel verse for this morning from John’s gospel said, When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you to all truth and remind you of all I told you. Following that, Matthew records a message of Jesus to the disciples that says in part: …do not worry about how you are to speak or what you are to say. You will be given at that moment what you are to say. For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

Some would call that coincidence. I think, rather, that it is synchronicity and find it to be very good advice. Knowing that God “has our back,” so to speak, should make it easier to say what needs to be said in these situations. I’ll have to pass that along to my conversation partners of this morning.