Tags
Abram, consequences, generosity, Genesis, hearts, jealousy, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, Sarai, The Sophia Center for Spirituality
After reading today’s text from the lectionary (GN 16:6B-12, 15-16) about Sarai’s inability to have children and her acquiescence to Abram’s need for an heir, I found her decision to “give” her maidservant, Hagar, to him as his concubine rather surprising. Actually, it was her behavior after the decision that belied the seeming generosity of her decision. She was very abusive of Hagar when Hagar became pregnant! Serendipitously, without any effort on my part, (Does anything really happen “by chance?”) I opened Meg Wheatley’s book, Perseverance, and found the following:
Jealousy and generosity are reverse images of one another. In response to any circumstance, one or the other will arise, guaranteed. Since they inhabit the same space, only one can appear at any time; they cancel each other out. Jealousy arises as generosity disappears, generosity flourishes as jealousy is stilled…
As closely connected as jealousy and generosity are, they create very different consequences. If jealousy predominates, we turn inward, shrivel our hearts, and lose strength. If generosity grows, we grow also. Our world expands. We realize there is enough to go round…
The world expands from the inside out – it’s our hearts that have enlarged. We not only feel more loving, we’re also more open and aware. We see more, we take in more, we let in more.
Jealousy is such a waste of a good human heart. (p. 75)
Sometimes it’s difficult to know what to say in this complex and over-stimulating world in which we now live. This morning as I was considering the lectionary readings one by one I kept getting interrupted with news flashes. It went something like this:
This afternoon I am scheduled to be guest speaker to a Women’s Group of about 15 to 20 people. In discussing a topic, the contact person said the members are always interested in information about resources in the community and that perhaps I ought to talk about our spirituality center. In writing up a “blurb” about the proposed topic, I titled it The Spiritual Side of Life. I’ve been thinking about it off and on for the past month and have had some difficulty settling on how to frame the topic. I realized yesterday that my thesis sentence would have to be something about the fact that there are no sides! Spiritual is who and what we are, spiritual beings in physical form, “made in the image and likeness of God.”
This morning I am feeling a desire to take life one moment at a time, conscious as I go through the day of all the people near and far who do not have the luxury of heated houses and blanketed beds in which they may choose to hunker down to wait out winter’s extreme behavior. This dangerous moment is deceptive in my neighborhood because the sun is streaming in and the sky is blue, whereas in many places the wind has caused storm surges from the beaches and lake effect snow measured in feet rather than inches to warn of possible catastrophe. My only warning of frostbite is looking out my bedroom window to see the wild dancing of the trees. Somehow this moment seems akin to the world situation where on some days there seems to be danger everywhere.
Yesterday I had another of those conversations about what some of us have come to call “bigger barns.” As “girls” often do, we were admiring someone’s lovely clothing. As is also frequently the case, the woman in question said she found it on sale and just couldn’t leave it in the store. She then proceeded to lament her full closet and her intention to clean out and let go of things she hadn’t worn in more than a year. We all agreed we tend to wear the same few outfits, maybe pairing different blouses with skirts or slacks but eventually noticing that we wear what is comfortable and those items in our closet that we like best. So why do we hold on so tightly to all the rest…?
The verse before the gospel today is very familiar. It comes from Psalm 95 and if I only see the first clause, I can always recite the second. If today you hear God’s voice…harden not your hearts. I usually pass it by making a quick note to myself of the meaning, i.e. “Don’t get mad at God for anything that happens” or “Don’t forget that God always loves you.” This morning I decided to investigate because I didn’t remember why the psalmist was warning the people in that way. Here’s what I found in a commentary.
I heard an urgency in the voice of Macrina Wiederkehr this morning in a prayer she wrote to the God of All. Take it with you today as a plea for what we need to stay the course of courage in this fragile world.
This morning I found a quote in Thomas Merton’s Book of Hours that I hope to remember as the day progresses. It is in his Wednesday reflections at dusk, so I thought that if I kept it in my heart and consciousness all day, maybe I could say the same as life unfolds and I arrive at evening. It’s a new way to pay attention to the events of the day, a “holy expectation” perhaps – at least worth a try. Here is what he says:
Today as we pray for lasting peace while recognizing that our world is in peril on many fronts, and as we give thanks for those who have served and sacrificed for that goal, may we remember that it is up to each one of us to create peace in our own hearts as a first step to the achievement of universal peace.