Passion for God

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breathing in God, called, Confessions, deafness, God is within me, hunger, passion for God, Peace, St. Augustine, St. Monica, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, thirst

Having considered yesterday the life of St. Monica, today we meet her son. “Whether acclaimed or condemned in our day for what can be seen as his ‘fundamental rigorism’ against the decadence of his own time” (http://www.americancatholic.org), Augustine’s passion for God cannot be denied. In perhaps his most famous writing, Confessions, his address to God is unsurpassed in depth of feeling and worthy of our reflection today.

Late have I loved You, O Beauty so ancient yet ever new! Late have I loved You. You were within me and I outside…You were with me but I was not with You. Things held me far from You – things which, if they were not in You, were not at all…You called and shouted and burst my deafness. You breathed and I drew in breath – now I pant for You. I tasted and now I hunger and thirst for You. You touched me and now I burn for Your peace.

Omnipresence

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God is always with me, God is everywhere, God is within me, omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent, psalm 139, psalm 19, psalm 8, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Your hand shall guide me

As I recently mentioned, Psalm 139 is one of my top three favorite psalms (with #8 and 19). This morning it got me to musing how my image of all those qualities of God that I learned in elementary school – like omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent – have shifted for me as I have grown older. It’s not that their meanings have changed; God is still everywhere, for example, but as my image of God has changed, the effect of these words has become radically different for me. Growing up, we were taught that God is everywhere, able to see everything we do. Had I been reading the psalms in those days, I might have been in a state of high anxiety to hear the psalmist say, “If I go up to the heavens you are there; if I sink to the nether world you are present there” if I felt that I had not measured up in my behavior. I can imagine trying to find a closet or a dark corner in the barn at the end of our street in which to hide in an effort to avoid God’s disappointment in me. Believing now that God is always and everywhere with me, not to mention within me, rejoicing in our relationship, never causes me to want to hide. Fidelity on both our parts allows me to look in the mirror of God’s presence even on my worst days and find comfort there because I trust that God loves me as I am and wants me to move always toward loving myself that way as well.

Today, then, I offer the reassurance contained in some of the early lines of Psalm 139 as sustenance for the day. Rain or shine, dark or light, success or failure, God will be there. If I take the wings of the dawn, if I settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there Your hand shall guide me and your right hand hold me fast…