Acceptance and Giving Up

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acceptance, coronavirus, giving up, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Once again yesterday afternoon I found myself in a conversation about upcoming plans that may or may not come to fruition. Events of greater or lesser import are being cancelled daily. Event calendars seem to be useless sometimes unless accompanied by a pencil with a good eraser. Disappointment is becoming a more frequent fact of life. Weddings and workshops, retreats and long-awaited voyages are put on hold and depend on the spread of “the virus” (no need to name it) that is so much a part of our lives, even while being invisible. We do well to consider how all of this is affecting us.

One of my “go to” sources for help is Meg Wheatley whose little book called Perseverance always provides useful perspectives. Here is—in part—what I read this morning.

Giving up is a moment either of acceptance or resignation, two very different states. Resignation has a beaten up, victim quality to it. We worked hard and we lost. We’ve been defeated.. Now it’s time to retreat, to move on, to put this experience behind us as quickly as possible.

Acceptance is radically different—we’re in touch with reality, we’ve learned that we’re not the savior of the situation, and we might feel humbled, but not beaten. We have a richer picture of what’s going on and, after a little rest, we’ll reenter the fray. (p. 97)

Although this reflection is a bit tangential to the point, the main words work for me as I think about life. While facing a pandemic is not something we just “put behind us as quickly as possible,” our prior plans in such a situation can be dealt with in that way. Learning to let go is, for me, a life-long practice. I still struggle sometimes with giving up possessions that “I might need someday” or recognizing that a trip to connect with someone in Australia “just might not be in the cards.” The value comes, as usual, in my motivation and willingness to respond to “what is.”

So today I will try to slip both acceptance and giving up in my pocket to take with me as I travel the uncharted road of pandemic-land.

Monday, Monday

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conscious, giving up, Jan Phillips, No Ordinary Time, observe, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, waking up

Today is Monday and I’m working at home. I didn’t go to bed until after midnight last night so I took the liberty of not setting my alarm. Of course, my eyes opened enough at 6:30 to ask myself that residual question: to wake or not to wake? Knowing that I would regret going back to sleep, I gave in and got up. With my coffee I chose to see how my friend Jan Phillips framed the early hours of Monday in her book, No Ordinary Time, because I always find something worth pondering there. Today it was like a gold mine, speaking an answer to the question I was still struggling to fully live into as I faced the tasks I have set myself for the day. This paragraph was the crux of the message to me.

Waking up is not easy, but it is the only way to go if we want to live a life with any passion and punch. It means we have to give up blaming. Give up making others responsible for our happiness. Abandon the habit of judging people, dwelling in the negative. Waking up means being able to observe our life as if it were happening to someone else. It means thinking and speaking consciously, knowing that what we think and say on Tuesday becomes the life we live on Thursday. Waking up means we don’t see the other as better or less than ourselves. We see the other as our self.

Wherever you are in your day when you read this, take a moment to review what is not really a new message but rather a gathering of many familiar pieces of advice that when put together and said exactly in that way can be a powerful impetus for renewal of intention. Blessings to Jan today for all her good work, especially for seeing more conscious ways to live and sharing her creative skills in leading the way.