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Tag Archives: forgive

Mixed Emotions

21 Wednesday Apr 2021

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conflicted, forgive, racism, sight, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, verdict

Yesterday was a difficult, emotional day. On Monday, the day before yesterday, I had an excision close to my right eye and today it seems (for me, at least) the best symbolic explanation of the experience of the past two days. Let me try to explain the strength of the mixed feelings in this way.

An excision is defined as: the act or procedure of removing by or as if by cutting out, especially by surgical removal or resection. I had a squamous cell carcinoma, a skin cancer more serious than a basal cell, but not serious if not left to grow in the body. My only concern was the closeness of the growth to my eye, but my dermatologist assured me that there was enough soft tissue around the cancer to successfully excise it without danger. My sight, in other words, would not be compromised. The procedure went as planned and today I can see just fine, but I am aware of a bit of swelling discomfort to my eye.

Yesterday I also found myself weeping at several moments around the announcement of the triple conviction of Derek Chauvin in the killing of George Floyd. There was a fair amount of tension as the time for the announcement of the jury decision loomed. I knew that if the decision was “Not guilty” on any of the counts it would be dangerous to the peace in the country. My relief when the verdict of guilty on all three counts was announced was total. As painful as it was to admit that I was grateful for a verdict that would mean severe punishment for any individual, I knew it was just, merited even, and that vindication was the best answer in this case. I cried with joy for the Floyd family, for all the people of color in our country, for all people who’ve been wrongly accused and punished, and for those who refuse to respect the rights of others to exist and thrive. I cried for myself as well and any shred of racism that remains in my heart.

I think yesterday was the first time I was so conflicted, not about the decision—because of the clarity of its correctness—but because of my actual feeling of joy in light of the decision. It is difficult to parse the feelings sitting in me. Perhaps I needn’t do so but only leave them and recognize that they exist. The question for me will be only whether or not I can forgive Derek Chauvin for his crimes. Perhaps if I come to see more clearly my own subtle racism, that clarity may shed light on how I am to proceed in my dealings with all people who are different from myself. And if love is a result of this recognition, my right eye will be healed.

Reminding God

21 Sunday Feb 2021

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forgive, forgiveness, psalm 25, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust, your ways

Psalm 25 presents us with a fervent prayer of hope in the goodness of God. It’s as if the psalmist is reminding God of all past promises and urging God to keep them in mind. The refrain is clear: Your ways, O Lord, are love and truth to those who keep your covenant. Were we to hear the entire psalm we would see that the psalmist moves from speaking directly to God, to making a case to all listeners about God’s willingness to forgive our faults – and then back again to direct address to God, asking for that forgiveness for faults and mistakes while again reminding God of the need to be compassionate toward our failures. It moves from complimenting God for such great kindness to reminding God of the necessity for remembrance! I might wonder about the trust of the psalmist in God’s memory!

So then I am led to question my trust level. Do I really think God loves me unconditionally – to such a degree that God will forgive any failing as long as I admit what I’ve done or not done, as long as I repent? Do I really believe God is with me at every moment, loving and guiding me to a deeper life of love? What is my trust quotient today?

Forgive

13 Sunday Sep 2020

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forgive, forgiveness, love one another, Matthew, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

It’s hard to miss the message in today’s lectionary readings. There are examples in each one, building to the most instructive: the story of the servant who successfully begged the king to forgive him a huge debt and then turned around and refused to forgive someone who owed him a much smaller amount. (MT 18:21-35) There are so many familiar lines in that passage, calling us to compassion and forgiveness for one another. Can you imagine Jesus suggesting that we forgive “seventy times seven times?” (aka as many times as we fall short.) Think about it though.

Is there anyone you love enough to forgive every time that person fails to measure up? Isn’t that what it takes to sustain a relationship? Is there any one of us who hasn’t been hurt or disappointed at least once that we can remember by a person we have loved? If we do forgive, doesn’t that strengthen the relationship? If we don’t, the transgression usually seems to hang onto us and deepen until the relationship is ruptured and it becomes impossible to remedy.

Nobody would say it’s easy to forgive serious injury but most of us, at least, would agree that forgiveness is the best way to heal. Jesus suggests that way today, saying: “Love one another as I have loved you.” With him as the model, who of us can resist a love like that?

Life-long Learning

10 Thursday Sep 2020

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forgive, Jesus, judging others, love your enemies, Luke, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

There’s a lot to ponder in the lectionary readings for today: (Luke 6: 27-38). It’s all about love but because Jesus was speaking to his disciples rather than a large crowd the message was not flowery or sweet. It cut to the heart of how to live a good and meaningful life in the way that God would have us act. Spend some time with it if you will. I’ll just offer a taste to get you started, three thoughts that take some real honesty to get to the heart of things.

  1. Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you…
  2. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?
  3. Stop judging and you will not be judged…Forgive and you will be forgiven.

Read the statements aloud. (How does it feel on the first read?) It will take some doing to go deeper than just recognizing the words. No squirming! Just stay with it until you’re ready to make a decision and a plan of how you can take a step toward this transformation in practice. (And then keep walking that path…)

Real and Imperfect

07 Tuesday Apr 2020

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A Deep Breath of Life, Alan Cohen, Brian Johnson, divine nature, forgive, imperfection, perfect, perspective, real world, Richard Rohr, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

At this moment we’re closing in on what looks to me personally at some moments like an entire month of wasted time. I wake up each morning and gradually a plan for the day emerges in my mind. As I ready for sleep each night, looking back on the day, I ask myself what I have accomplished and can rarely come up with anything more than a zoom call or two in which I have participated. It’s hard not to be disappointed in myself.

This morning I had the good fortune to read two things that assuaged my conscience and shifted my perspective. Speaking of life and how we live it, Brian Johnson (optimize.me) quoted Richard Rohr – one of his new heroes. Father Richard says the following: “A ‘perfect’ person ends up being one who can consciously forgive and include imperfection rather than one who thinks he or she is totally above and beyond imperfection.” Great insight! My favorite line is elsewhere in the text, however, where he writes: “What a clever place for God to hide holiness.”

Alan Cohen, in his book, A Deep Breath of Life, was talking about “the real world” and our participation in it. Although he didn’t speak of perfection directly, he wrote a lovely paragraph that I saw as related. As he sees it: “The real world is a world of kindness, caring, vision, and service. All these qualities are attributes of our divine nature. As children of God, we can only be what God is, and that is everything that is good. We are born of light, and we return to the light. To live in light is to live in the real world.”

So here’s the message that has been renewed in my consciousness once again: Who we are is much more important than what we do. So regardless of how many or how few tasks are crossed off on my ever-present lists, I can be satisfied in this time-out-of-time to be living an imperfect real life!

It’s About Forgiveness

20 Thursday Jun 2019

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deliver us from evil, forgive, forgiveness, John Philip Newell, Matthew, The Lord's Prayer, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

What does one say about the prayer that Jesus himself taught that has lasted and been learned universally since? I don’t even remember learning the Lord’s Prayer – the Our Father. It has just always been a part of me, albeit not always followed to the letter. It seems sometimes that the most difficult part is the line that says, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive…”

I noticed this morning that the gospel didn’t end with the hope of being delivered from evil. There was an addendum of sorts (MT 5:15) that puts a fine point on the forgiveness issue, as if Jesus is saying, “Did you get that? Did you hear what I said? Let me be really clear about this.” It seems that if we don’t forgive others, God will perhaps withhold forgiveness from us. (If you forgive others their transgressions, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.) That was rather astonishing to me, given my perception of God’s love and grace. It struck me this morning as a deeper way to live the gospel – a sure way to share in bringing light to the world.

I had decided that most likely everyone who reads what I write would find those thoughts rather overstated, like something that we already knew and wouldn’t find it necessary to be reminded of…so I picked up John Philip Newell’s book, Praying with the Earth, in search of something more thought provoking. I found the prayer for Thursday morning (today) to say the following:

We wake to the forgiveness of a new day. We wake to the freedom to begin again. We wake to the mercy of the sun’s redeeming light, always new, always gift, always blessing. We wake to the forgiveness this new day. (p. 34)

Why am I not surprised? From the shock of thinking that I won’t be forgiven if I fail to forgive sometimes, I find myself reassured that I can always start over – every day – to try again. That doesn’t let me off the hook but it certainly helps me to forgive myself for my failure – which then gives the impetus to try again. So God is still the God who forgives me but that forgiveness is not a free pass to heaven. I am responsible to live always from a heart steeped in forgiveness of others as my very own self. Really and truly…every time.

The Greatest Challenge

18 Tuesday Jun 2019

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enemies, forgive, Jesus, kindness, light-beings, love, Matthew, praye, random acts of kindness, Sermon on the Mount, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

People thought Jesus was crazy – or maybe they hadn’t really heard him correctly the day he preached that “Sermon on the Mount” (MT 5-7). He was certainly a charismatic preacher who drew people in easily by his powerful words and the way he treated people. On this day, however, he crossed into the territory of the outrageous with a challenge to his listeners.

“You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. (Okay so far) But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” That’s just ridiculous. How can you call someone your enemy if you love them and pray for them? Impossible, right?

That was obviously the point but we still don’t understand the depth of meaning in his words. We say things like: “Well, I can love her but I don’t have to like her.” That’s rather absurd, don’t you think? But how could Jesus be (still) asking us to love everyone? What about the tyrants, murderers and other individuals who perpetrate the horrific crimes that make the news every day? How is it possible to love them?

I admit that this is one gospel passage whose essence still escapes my embrace but I do believe that when we achieve that ability to forgive and truly understand the breadth of God’s love, the world will truly be saved. I need to trust that such a possibility exists and that I can be part of the realization. The only way forward as I see it, however, is consistent prayer and imaging of ourselves as light-beings, bringing God’s love to the world. Unless we believe that, it will never happen. And if we continue to say we believe it without the sustained practice that will effect a change, nothing will be achieved.

Start small with acts of kindness and prayer for someone in your life whom you avoid as often as possible. One by one, accept those “enemies” and then move on to the bigger challenges on the world stage. It’s the only way for all of us – starting now!

Living Love

13 Saturday Jan 2018

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Entering the Silence, forgive, kind, live, love, loved ones, patient, Paul, Peace, sorrow, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Merton

ahugAs is often the case, I woke up today with song lyrics in my head. This time it was a familiar text from Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, chosen by countless people for a wedding reading. You know it too, I’ll wager. Love is patient, love is kind, love is ready to forgive, sings Jeannie Cotter with David Haas ready to jump in as the lyrics veer off a bit from Paul. The last line of the chorus summarizes the message beautifully, however, when both sing that in love we choose to live.

I usually wait for a second sign if the song doesn’t go away by the time I sit down and root around inside and outside for a message. As I take stock of the previous day (or, as in this case, two days since I had no internet service yesterday) my theme often becomes perfectly clear. Yesterday was a day of communicating with loved ones – in person or on the phone – who are dealing with issues of deep sorrow. I carry them now and will continue to do so on this day where quiet and inaction is being enforced by the ice and snow outside. As I move through the hours I will take Thomas Merton with me as well to help me stay in the sphere of loving consciousness. Won’t you join me?

Every day love corners me somewhere and surrounds me with peace without having to look very far or very hard or do anything special. (Entering the Silence, p. 196)

 

Truth-telling

20 Friday Oct 2017

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Alan Cohen, forgive, God, honesty, live from the heart, love, psalm 32, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, truth

ahearthouseSometimes it seems too difficult to tell “the whole truth and nothing but the truth” when such speaking will reveal a fault or failing about ourselves. It seems much easier to obfuscate – a great word that means to obscure, blur or overcomplicate things so we don’t look so bad in the eyes of other people. The difficulty with this practice is that it doesn’t make us feel better because we have hidden our true self; rather we feel worse. The irony is that many times the failure we’re trying to cover up is so minor that we are the only ones who would judge it harshly if it were known. Everyone else would easily forgive the imperfection.

There are many reasons why we are so obsessed with perfection: culture, family values, education…The goal is to “get over ourselves.” Starting the process with God might be a good idea since we have it on good  authority that God will forgive anything if we just admit it. Psalm 32 tells us that this morning, saying, Then I acknowledged my sin to You; my guilt I covered not. I said, “I confess my faults to the Lord,” and You took away my guilt.

Alan Cohen offers a brief prayer in the same mode that addresses God as follows: I want to live from my heart. Help me to be me, without hiding or protecting. Short and to the point, that just might help us to turn our hearts to honest speaking more each day and find the love for ourselves and trust in others that God already possesses in our regard.

 

 

 

 

 

Found In Translation

11 Wednesday Oct 2017

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debts, fidelity, forgive, hallowed, love, Luke, Matthew, Peace, praying, Sermon on the Mount, spiritual path, The Lord's Prayer, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trespasses

aourfatherThe gospel in today’s lectionary is probably the most commonly known prayer in Christianity: The Lord’s Prayer, also known as The Our Father. The text is found in two of the four canonical gospels, Matthew (6:9-13) and Luke (11:2-4). Most of us know it as it comes from Matthew’s version, appearing in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount. Reading Luke this morning made me think that his version might have been easier to learn for children who had trouble memorizing prayers; it’s very succinct and yet seems to cover all the requisite items for our living. It comes in Luke’s gospel as the response of Jesus when he himself was praying and one of his disciples asked him to teach them to pray. Luke reports him telling them: “When you pray, say: Father, hallowed (holy) be your name, your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread and forgive our sins for we ourselves forgive everyone in debt to us, and do not subject us to the final test.” Period – the end.

On second thought, although the words may be easier to learn than those of Matthew, there is a tiny word that changes things for those trying to practice what they pray. In Matthew we hear: “Forgive us our debts (trespasses) as we forgive…” Does it mean: “to the extent that (or in the way that) we forgive others?” Luke seems to think that our forgiveness of others is a foregone conclusion – something already done – by using the word “for” meaning “because” in that same sentence.

As I get mired in these semantics, I remember that translation is not an exact science and everything I’m writing could be challenged by scholars of Aramaic and Greek and Latin… My point is only and always to delve into what can bring us closer to God on our spiritual path and what can motivate us to treat others as Christ would have us love them. So let us say our prayers and get about the day’s work in peace and the promise of fidelity, to the best of our ability today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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