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Tag Archives: emotions

Equinox

20 Wednesday Mar 2019

Posted by thesophiacenterforspirituality in Uncategorized

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emotions, equinox, funeral, ritual, Spiritual Center, St. Joseph's Day, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Today is a day when more people than usual pay attention to the earth’s position vis-a-vis the sun. Twice a year there are moments when the sun is exactly above the equator, signaling “equal night” (equinox) everywhere on earth. For us in the Northern Hemisphere it means movement into spring (vernal equinox), more light and warmer temperatures. For the Southern Hemisphere, it is just the opposite (autumnal equinox). Most people in my corner of the world are quite happy and expectant and/or relieved that we have come to this day. We should soon see early flowers peeking out of the earth; actually some tiny sprigs of green closely protected by buildings are already visible to the trained eye.

As I look back on yesterday, I feel as if my emotions experienced an equinox of sorts: equal parts of joy and sorrow coming together. Like the spring equinox, however, the day left a deeper knowing of the lasting effect of the two becoming one.

Yesterday morning we joined hundreds of mourners at a heartfelt funeral service for a wonderful man and good, humble priest, Father Alfred Bebel. Al had been our landlord and pastor at St. Ann’s Church years ago and through the years had often come to spend time with God in retreat at the Spiritual Center in Windsor where we live. Al loved his Polish heritage, his country upbringing, his congregants and the patients he served over many years as a hospital chaplain. There was not a dry eye or an empty seat in the very large church as we sadly said goodbye to him yesterday.

Last evening I participated in another ritual, this one a celebration of St. Joseph’s Day (see yesterday’s blog post). Similarly beautiful with heartfelt music and preaching, the eucharistic liturgy included renewal of commitment by sisters and lay associates. Deep joy was shared by all at the ceremony and the reception that followed.

As I reflected later on the day with its tears of joy and of sorrow, I was reminded of John Denver’s song that the music group sang before the evening celebration. All this joy, all this sorrow, all this promise, all this pain. Such is life, such is being, such is spirit, such is love. Somehow, all was folded into one in the emotions of the day. We are confident that Al Bebel is now in the bliss of eternity and we could not wish him back with us. We still struggle sometimes to fulfill the commitments we have made to God and to life but are confident that God loves us unconditionally and that we are greatly blessed. Gratitude for our life blends with our yearning and joy is the result.

Today is an ordinary day and yet I know that the sun and the earth are tilting just a bit to bring us a welcome change.

Language That Speaks

09 Sunday Dec 2018

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crowds, emotions, God, guiding light, happiness, Isaiah, knowledge, language, love, perception, prayer, psalm 126, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, voice

For thousands of years people have been trying to say just the right things that will catch the imagination of those wanting to find the essence of life. That desire is the stuff of religions, communities, nations or at least small groups of people who hear what seems to make sense of things and thereby decide to follow the one who speaks that truth. In some cases it is the power of the voice or, in another, some inexplicable quality that emanates from within the person that causes others to sit up and take notice.

This morning I was awakened by the prophet Isaiah whom I could hear shouting: Up, Jerusalem! Stand upon the heights and see your children gathered from the east and the west at the word of the Holy One, rejoicing that they are remembered by God! Not only hearing but seeing, in the distance of my mind’s eye, throngs of people streaming across a great space from all directions and climbing toward the sun-drenched plateau of a mountain. The home of God was certainly present and waiting for them.

Just writing that paragraph, seeing that image, reminds me that we sometimes need imagination as well as fact to come to deeper knowing. Even the words we choose to express our experiences to others are important. The psalm for today (126) is full of emotions: our mouths filled with laughter! great things! filled with joy! dreaming! I can just see the happiness of people released from exile dancing their way home together.

But here are the words that resonate deep within my heart today as essential to the good of all people everywhere. May they be a guiding light for all of us. This is my prayer: that your love may increase ever more and more in knowledge and every kind of perception, to discern what is of value…(PHIL 1:8)

A Late Surprise

20 Tuesday Feb 2018

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emotions, faith, gift, gratitude, joy, loss, marriage, risk, seniors, thankful, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

aseniorweddingThis morning, a cautionary tale. The lesson: stay always in the present moment. It is all that we ever can depend on.

This morning I will attend a memorial Mass for a man I did not know. He was 80 years old and came into my consciousness when a woman I have been acquainted with for many years, a widow important to our local church community, re-connected with him. They had known each other in their youth – dated even, I believe, – and found very quickly this time that they were so happy together that there was no reason not to commit to each other in marriage. And so they did – about 18 months ago. She said she had never been happier and it clearly showed on her smiling face. Some time in the latter part of 2017, they were told he had cancer.

I don’t know what these last months have been like for her. I can only speculate on the mix of emotions that have played in her every day. Some people would most likely be raging against a God who was seen as a cruel trickster. Others would, no doubt, be thankful for the unexpected and glorious gift of joy shared so late in life. My sense of this faithful, prayerful woman is that gratitude will win out even as the sadness of loss becomes a frequent companion.

I can imagine what our conversation might be about today if we are lucky enough to share a moment before the ritual. I expect that her faith will be evident as always, her gratitude for the family that has pledged to remain present to her will be expressed and that she will have a treasure chest of memories to carry with her into the future. Most of all, I expect that she will be glad for having taken a risk for such a gift from a God whose ways may not be our ways but who sometimes offers amazing opportunities to those awake enough to say “YES!”

 

 

 

 

 

Mean What You Say

11 Saturday Jun 2016

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common purpose, decision-making, emotions, harmony, high on love, incline my heart, Matthew, psalm 199, Stonington Maine, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, walking

ahillyThere is a danger lurking under the surface of wonderful experiences like this one in Stonington, Maine when everyone is feeling so united and “high on love” for each other and the world. I woke up this morning – again before my alarm had a chance to call me to the day – still feeling the pull of muscles in my legs activated by walking up and down the hills in town. Immediately I vowed to return to a regular walking regimen in my daily life. When I sat to check the readings at http://www.usccb.org I chuckled at the words from chapter 5 of Matthew’s gospel: Do not make a false oath but make good to the Lord all that you vow…Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’

I know that the above dictum was not really speaking of my enthusiastic determination to exercise but even so it was a reminder of how our emotions play in our decision-making and sometimes fail us when it comes to follow-through. There has been much depth in what has been shared in this tiny town among the visitors – as well as with the residents who have joined us for some of the presentations – and we are all changed to some extent by our time here. Today, our last full day, will be an opportunity for assessing the lessons and making realistic commitments about future practice. The hope is that in packing our suitcases we tuck in some remembrance of the moments of recognition that will allow us to live out of the sense of harmony that exists when people are joined in a common purpose – for the good of the world. Perhaps if we just remember the plea of this morning’s psalm that calls out: Incline my heart, O Lord, to your decrees...(Ps. 119:36) we will be well on our way to success.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Raqa!

19 Friday Feb 2016

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anger, baby, emotions, empty, human being, inflammatory, Lenten journey, Matthew, miracle of God's creation, negativity, Peace, politics, presidential campaign, Raqa, respect, reverence, Sanhedrin, Sermon on the Mount, spiteful, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, useless, venomous language

anargumentYesterday one of my housemates received a text from her nephew with a sonogram image of his expected child. His wife is only three months pregnant, yet the technology was so clear that we could already see the brain forming in his (yes, it’s a boy!) well-formed head. We marveled at the amazing miracle of how this baby – and all of us – are formed in our mother’s womb. I was reminded this morning of how babies need do nothing in order to garner the attention of anyone who crosses their path. We are all in awe of the beauty and wonder of such an amazing creation. What happens to us as we age that causes us to forget how to reverence one another?

In today’s gospel (MT 5: 20-26) – near the conclusion of the Sermon on the Mount – Jesus is speaking about a deeper way to follow the commandment, “You shall not kill.” He says, “…whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, Raqa, will be answerable to the Sanhedrin…” The Sanhedrin was the supreme religious body in the land of Israel, comparable to the US Supreme Court. I always just passed over raqa when that reading appeared, figuring that it meant something mean that was said in Hebrew by someone who was angry. Today, I decided to research it and found that I was correct to a point but that raqa speaks of a kind of anger that erupts from someone whose anger is dangerously spiteful. Raqa means useless, empty and of no value. These days we call that kind of language used against another verbal abuse. When someone hurls those words at another person, it is as if the word becomes an arrow, piercing to the heart, and the damage can be devastating.  No wonder Jesus was so emphatic in his critique.

All this brings to mind the venomous language that is present in the political sphere during a campaign for an important office. Sometimes it is not only the candidates who denigrate their opponents but those in the different supporting  “camps” who are drawn in to such inflammatory rhetoric. We are in such a moment in our country now and need to take care, lest we lose ourselves in negativity rather than make intelligent choices on the issues.

In our personal lives as well we need to take care to monitor our emotions. Proceeding on our Lenten journey, let us seek out people and experiences that will remind us of the miracle of God’s creation that is the human being. Moreover, let us treat one another with respect and reverence, eschewing anger at its beginning to avoid any words that we may regret for the damage they inflict on another person. Peace be our path today!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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