Trust

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danger, do not be afraid, hope, Jesus, John, mercy, psalm 33, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust, walking on water

Both the psalm response and the gospel in today’s lectionary put the word “trust” front and center for our consideration. Four times Psalm 33 is interrupted with the refrain: Lord, let your mercy be on us, as we place our trust in you. It’s a statement of exchange, a bit of a challenge for God, it seems. If we trust God, God must be counted on to be merciful OR is it a “hoping against hope” situation where we close our eyes, grit our teeth and hold our breath hoping for a good outcome?

It would seem that the gospel (JN 6: 16-21) presents the perfect situation to illustrate the necessity of trust. Only twice have I been in a boat when a storm came up. Once was on a large cruise ship when the only danger from the wind stirring the water was a bad case of nausea for the majority of us. All we needed to do was stay in our cabins and wait it out. The other was at a smallish lake where we needed to get back to shore, rowing as the two of us had never done, before the storm broke. It was that second case that might be compared with the situation of the apostles in the boat. I wonder if our inner distress would have been increased or calmed by the presence of Jesus walking on the water toward us! He appeared to the apostles to be a ghost. Why would it be different for anyone in that situation – especially as he appeared in his “resurrection body” that seems from all accounts a detriment to recognition for all who encountered him?

Would his words (It is I. Do not be afraid.) have been enough? Are they enough for us to engender trust in situations of inner or outer distress? Saturday is sometimes the perfect day to give in to what we don’t expect and let our trust in Christ take us home.

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The “In Group”

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disciples, do not be afraid, fear, gossip, James, Jesus, John, Luke, Mark, Matthew, Peter, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, transfiguration

The gospel for today is Matthew’s version of the Transfiguration of Jesus on the mountain. I understand the desire of Jesus to take time away in a quiet place to be alone as it seems he often did. I might have chosen the Sea of Galilee as my getaway, but the hills might have been a better bet for Jesus as a total escape from people. One could wonder why on this particular day he chose to take Peter, James and John with him. Did he know what was going to happen? Was he afraid he would need help if the depth of experience got too intense? Or did he just have a desire to have some quiet time with less than a dozen companions?

The Transfiguration story appears in all three of the synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke) and the accounts differ only slightly. As usual, Peter jumps right in with a suggestion that they stay (forever?) on the mountain. He’s willing to erect shelters for Jesus and his guests, Moses and Elijah, so the vision must have presented those ancestors in a decidedly dense way. (How did Peter recognize who they were?) The disciples didn’t seem too shaken by all this – even the fact that Jesus was appearing in an altered state, until they heard the voice of God telling them to pay attention to Jesus, God’s Beloved. It was then that they fell prostrate in fear so that Jesus had to come and touch them (so they could tell they were still alive?) and tell them not to be afraid. At that point the event was ended and everything returned to “normal.”

I often think about the stricture Jesus put on the disciples on the way down the mountain, telling them not to share what they had seen with anyone. I wonder how difficult that knowing was for them and if/how it changed their lives. Did they feel more protective of Jesus? Did this experience make them wonder more deeply about his experiences when he left them to pray? Did their dreams of greatness as the ones closest to the Messiah increase? Or were they confused and bothered by the statement at the end of this text that says: As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus charged them, “Do not tell the vision to anyone until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.”

This is all conjecture, of course, and we know that the gospels were not written down until years after the events happened so the writers had a post-Resurrection understanding by that time. My point in all this is – as usual – to look for application to our own lives. Sometimes it isn’t easy to keep the confidences with which people trust us, especially if the news is something sensational or a “tidbit” that others would love to know. We live in a world where gossip reigns and it is difficult to tell truth from fiction sometimes. If I had been one of the favored apostles on that mountain, would I have been able to hold my tongue and thereby protect Jesus – even if I wanted to share what I saw as an event that showed how amazing Jesus was? How difficult would it have been for me to come down that mountain and not go to any of the other nine to share the story? How would my relationship with someone change if I learned of some ability (or disability) that made them more (or less) acceptable to others? So many questions…so much to ask myself, looking for the deepest motivations and clearest truths of my heart, hoping for the touch of Jesus that says, “Do not be afraid.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s For the Birds…and Us

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abundance, birds, do not be afraid, generosity, Luke, sparrows, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Two days ago we spotted the first of our “winter birds” on the deck outside our house. That means big bags of various seeds and packages of suet cakes will soon follow. With the last of the growing season comes a diminishment of possibility for the birds to find enough to eat outside. Unlike the animals who don’t migrate and have been busy storing food for the winter, the birds depend on us to feed them now. And so we do. To be fair, this responsibility has its benefits; we get to marvel at the beauty and diverse coloration of our “feathered friends” as they come and go outside our windows.

It makes me smile to consider the reference that Jesus makes in Luke’s gospel today to the birds and us. (LK 12:7) He says: Are not five sparrows sold for two small coins? Yet not one of them has escaped the notice of God. Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Do not be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows. He isn’t saying the birds aren’t important; God notices every one of them. But in the great chain of being it seems that God takes care of us in the manner that we take care of the birds. We frequently comment on the fact that all the birds in our area know where the tastiest, most abundant meals are to be had. Only the best at this restaurant! So it is for us – except that God is serving in every nook and cranny of this world so the best is what we can all expect from God…as long as we keep the generosity going in our neighborhood.

Go Deep!

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angels, cleanse, conversion, Corinthians, deep listening, do not be afraid, faith, Isaiah, Jesus, lower your nets, Paul, Peter, sin, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, unworthiness

Each of the readings this morning tells a story of conversion because of a miraculous initiation on God’s part. In IS 6:1-8, the prophet has a vision of God and the Seraphim, whose voices of praise shook the doorframe and filled the house with smoke. Isaiah lamented because, although he was gifted with this kind of vision, he saw himself as “a man of unclean lips living among a people of unclean lips.” One of the angels took an ember from the altar with tongs and held it to Isaiah’s mouth to cleanse his sin after which the prophet “heard the voice of the Lord saying, Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” Isaiah answered, “Here I am. Send me.”

Paul’s conversion is recorded as no less spectacular as Paul was struck to the ground and blinded by the light of God on the way to Damascus, having heard the voice of Christ call to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” This morning Paul is preaching the gospel to the Corinthians (1COR 15:1-11). As he recounts all the appearances of Christ after the Resurrection, he says at the end, “Last of all he appeared to me. For I am the least of the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God that is what I am, and his grace to me has not been ineffective.”

Today’s gospel story of conversion can be seen as the first of many in the life of Peter and it is compelling in the physicality of it (Jesus is right in the boat with him rather than giving instructions from heaven) as much as in its similarity to the first two readings. Jesus is being pressed by the crowds so he just walks up to Peter’s boat, gets in, tells him to push out a little way so he can continue preaching without being trampled, sits down and resumes his teaching. I often wonder what that encounter touched in Peter to allow his response to be so seamless – no objection or asking for time to finish washing his nets…especially since when Jesus stopped preaching and told Peter to go out further and start fishing again, he wasn’t so keen, having fished all night with no success. But he did what Jesus asked. The rest of the story is familiar; so many fish in the nets that they filled two boats. The response of Peter echoes Isaiah and Paul when he “fell to his knees and said, Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” Jesus said in reply, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching [people].”

So here’s my conclusion which actually arose because of one sentence in the gospel but is built on the happenings in all three stories. Peter, Paul and Isaiah all experienced a shocking personal revelation of God’s power to which each of them responded by speaking of their unworthiness. God did not respond that they were, in fact, worthy; rather in each case God removed their unworthiness which would have blocked them from their mission. Most of us are not recipients of such miraculous calls from God but many of us tend to respond with the same hesitation; we feel unworthy. Paul caught the point that it is God’s grace that allows us to overcome what blocks us from doing the work that is ours. But what is it that helps us to truly see what Paul saw? What removes the blindness that keeps us from response?

What answers those questions for me is the second command of Jesus to Peter this morning. “Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch,” Jesus said. Seen in my life as a metaphor, that statement reminds me that the habits of deep listening and faith are the keys to breaking out of the mindset of unworthiness and trusting God’s grace in all I attempt to accomplish. Success and failure do not matter as much as willingness to serve. God will take care of the rest of the story.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of Wind and Water

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apostles, believe, calm, do not be afraid, enough, fear, I'm here, Jesus, John, terror, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, walk on water

Today the gospel is John’s (brief) account of the storm at sea (JN  6:16-21). One might call it “bare bones” as there are simply the facts that as the disciples were rowing, the wind came up, followed by the appearance of Jesus walking toward them on the water who said, It is I; Do not be afraid – at which point everything calmed again and they rowed on. English teachers might call that a good synopsis as it contains little narration of the heart of the event which seems to me to be the terror  that was most certainly felt by the apostles. The crux of it all, however, were the words of Jesus when he told them not to be afraid. I find it interesting that he didn’t say, “I’ll save you!” or “It’ll be okay!” He simply said, “I’m here” as if (hopefully) his presence would be enough to take away their fear. We might ask ourselves if we can believe deeply enough in that presence in our lives that, when we are faced with our fears, we can rely on God to assure us, “I am here” and to know that for whatever we face, that is enough.