Good Conversation

Tags

closer, conversation, curious, differences, different, good listening, judgment, listen, listening, Meg Wheatley, messages, relationship, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Turning To One Another

I’m up early to greet the day with Meg Wheatley’s book, turning to one another. (Yes, the title is written in all lower case letters – most likely to emphasize the desire to have a conversation of equality.) I haven’t visited this treasure for a long time but have been trying to live with its messages nonetheless. It all seems so timely now when, day by day, so much in the world seems so fractured. I don’t know why it called to me as I turned to set my coffee on my side table. Perhaps it’s the appearance of the book itself, skinny but tall and dressed in a coat of red and yellow on its spine. Here are the two paragraphs that wouldn’t let me go this morning.

I hope you’ll begin a conversation, listening for what’s new. Listen as best you can for what’s different, for what surprises you. See if this practice helps you learn something new. Notice whether you develop a better relationship with the person you’re talking with. If you try this with several people, you might find yourself laughing in delight as you realize how many unique ways there are to be human.

We have the opportunity many times a day, everyday, to be the one who listens to others, curious rather than certain. But the greatest benefit of all is that listening moves us closer. When we listen with less judgment, we always develop better relationship with each other. It’s not differences that divide us. It’s our judgments about each other that do. Curiosity and good listening bring us back together. (p.36)

 

 

 

 

 

Seeing As God Sees

Tags

different, familiar, fit, Hearts on Fire Praying With the Jesuits, looking, Pedro Arrupe SJ, recharged, see, stranger, teach, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

We have a “full house” for this weekend’s workshop at our small retreat center (which is also our home). It’s always nice to welcome people who are familiar to us, those who come every year to get “recharged” spiritually. It’s so easy to be comfortable with people we know, isn’t it? It’s those who come for the first time that present a challenge. Of course the assumption is that if people are coming for a spiritual purpose they will be easy to assimilate into the energy of the place. Occasionally, however, we are blessed to welcome someone who is “different.” It could be personality quirks or cultural differences – anything that makes us (actually, I should say “me”) hold back until I can assess the “fit” of this new person who is not known to us. I thought of this because of opening to a prayer in a little book – a lovely gift to me – called Hearts on Fire; Praying with Jesuits that caused me to pause this morning. It began:

Teach me your way of looking at people: as you glanced at Peter after his denial, as you penetrated the heart of the rich young man and the hearts of your disciples. I would like to meet you as you really are, since your image changes those with whom you come into contact.

I’m on my way to help prepare breakfast for the group this morning. It will be easy with these familiar faces to greet them as Christ would and for this I will be thankful. But there will be others…as I live through the week to come. I will try to remember the words of Pedro Arrupe, S.J. – the author of this prayer – which I hope will help me to see with eyes wide open to acceptance and love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bless the Children

Tags

blessing, children, different, extraordinary, Jesuit, joy, simplicity, spiritual opening, spontaneity, St. Aloysius Gonzaga, summer, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, wonder

My thoughts this morning are of children – simple thoughts really, for a number of reasons. We have finally (some would say swiftly) arrived at the calendar designation of the beginning of summer and I have been aware that this is the last week of school for the youth of New York State. Freed for the summer from the constraints of study, some are likely jubilant while others quickly become bored. I suggest prayer for young people in general that this season will afford them some new, safe adventures and good friends to companion them.

Today is the feast of St. Aloysius Gonzaga who lived in the 16th century and died at the age of 23. An extraordinarily spiritual youth, he had a “spiritual opening” at the age of 7 years and was teaching catechism by the age of eleven! After a 4 year struggle with his father who was determined that his son join the military, Aloysius entered the Jesuit order. Soon after, in caring for those brothers sickened by plague, he contracted the disease and died. As I read about his early life, I thought of the children I have known as “different” or extraordinary – often the intellectually brilliant ones – who are not well accepted by their peers. Conformity is a much safer path to walk, especially in our younger years. I pray for those children and teens who wish for a simpler life but know a different calling, that they may accept themselves and others and come to celebrate their uniqueness as God’s gift.

Finally, I see pictures of the beautifully alive faces of the youngest members of my own extended family and pray for children everywhere that they may be granted loving parents or guardians like those I know their parents, my younger cousins, to be. May we learn from the young the lessons of spontaneity and wonder, of simplicity and joy and may they be a blessing to us in this season.