Determination

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Brian Johnson, challenge, determination, keep going, Optimize, pandemic, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

When I was younger (much younger!) I used to be able and willing to run two miles with a colleague after school. When I moved to the country, I delighted in walking two miles down our road to breathe in the good air and watch the changes in the landscape in every season. That lasted a very long time. Lately, I have been disappointed to experience a diminishment that I am blaming at least partially on the pandemic. I find my capacity for foot travel woefully less than I ever expected. My goal is to strengthen my legs by exercising but that is not working very well in this long season of distress…

This morning I read something that may be a solution for me. I plan to try it anyway. It was in Brian Johnson’s daily post, “Optimize” where he wrote the following:

The next time life presents you with a challenge, don’t simply assume everything will work out. Don’t tell yourself you can’t do it. Just evaluate the situation. Figure out what you can accomplish right now. Then draw your line. When you cross that line, draw another one. And keep going.

In this difficult season, it seems important to me to remember that “small is beautiful” or “one step at a time” is the way to go. The determination not to take on too much is key. Wish me luck – or better yet – pray me along and join me!

Out of Darkness

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be the change, determination, positive messages, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Late yesterday when I was shown a photo on the internet, the darkness in my heart began to lift. I’m not sure of the details but what I remember of the story is that a school principal (or teacher) wrote a letter (or sent out some sort of request) for people to donate food for students (elementary level, I think) who normally receive lunch in school but now have no access to it since “school” is now virtual. The picture was of what looked like thousands of bags filled with food and the accompanying story told of the necessity of directing people who came later with food to the park near the school as there was not enough space in the school parking lot in which to place all the bags of food that were donated.

This morning as I opened my computer to write my blog post, the first thing that caught my eye was a letter from Corie Barry, CEO of Best Buy – one of the largest chain stores in our country for technology: computers and such. It was not only a letter about past commitment to education in providing equipment for students but also a statement of distress about the events of the past week’s racial violence and a promise to do all in their power to create “permanent, systemic change in as many ways” as they could find. It began with an apology “for not doing enough” (even though a decade ago they began building a national network of Teen Tech Centers, places where “teens from disinvested communities are exposed to and trained on a range of technology that can make a critical difference in helping them find success in post-secondary education or the job market.”) They are appointing a diverse group (by demography and level in the company) to challenge one another, and, ultimately, the senior leadership team and Board of Directors, with “substantive, enduring ways to address the inequities and injustices to which all of us witness each day.”

After reading two more positive messages from sites I generally check into, I watched three minutes of babies reacting to their fathers who were playing their guitars for them. Who of us can avoid a spike in our “happiness quotient” in such a situation? Then I listened once again to the song from yesterday’s post (In Every Age), thanks to Mary Pat, our resident tech wizard.

As a result of all this, and while still pained by the state of our nation, I am willing to enter into this day with a determination to “be the change I wish to see in the world.” Whatever it takes. Thanks be to God.

A Day Late

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determination, Deuteronomy, hearts open, Moses, present, Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet, St. Louis, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Today is Monday and I am still swimming in the confidence of yesterday’s first reading from Deuteronomy (30: 10-14). I’m in St. Louis, Missouri, far from home but in the company of over 100 women who have pledged themselves to live and work “for the life of the world.” The energy was high yesterday as we greeted one another after long absences or for the first time, hoping that we will find ourselves of one heart as we move toward an agenda that will likely need every one of the fourteen days ahead. You see, we are plotting our future here. As we diminish in number while welcoming one or two new members each year instead of the 45 of us who came in 1966 to the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet (a tiny location in St. Louis where we first settled in 1836), we need to be attentive to the particularity of our call to God’s service.

Yesterday in an opening ritual we stood one by one as our names were called and responded “Present!” Today we begin to understand the gravity of what that might mean for us going forward. In all of it we have the words that Moses spoke to the people to keep our hearts open and our determination strong, knowing that there are many people who hold us up in prayer. Won’t you join in the effort?

For this command that I enjoin on you today is not too mysterious and remote for you. It is not up in the sky, that you should say, “Who will go up in the sky to get it for us and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?” Nor is it across the sea, that you should say, “Who will cross the sea to get it for us and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?” No, it is something very near to you, already in your mouths and in your hearts; you have only to carry it out.”

A Wrinkle in Place

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determination, endure, envision, future, light, love, Sisters of St. Joseph, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I smiled when I just looked at the title for my last blog entry (“What Time Is It?”), in part because I am in a different time zone than usual. Although Minnesota is only one hour behind the Northeast, and because all my electronic devices correct themselves without help from me, I might not notice the inner disturbance that occurs when visiting a location like California (3 hours difference) or a European country (6 or 7 hours difference). There is a subtle adjustment to be made, however. I have been up and thinking for over an hour and here it’s only 6:10am.

The shift happens inside too as I am sitting in a bedroom on a hall that used to house a large number of young women aspiring to become members of the Sisters of St. Joseph, and now is filled with older women who come to consider what it has been like and how we might envision a future for those of us who have lived this religious life for decades. The halls are long (especially for those of us situated far from the morning coffee) but hold a familiar comfort of the lively exchanges that take place during gatherings in our own Province Center – our Motherhouse – in New York State.

Next weekend I will be there to gather with the Sisters I have known over 52 years to celebrate and converse together about changes and what does not change about our life together. In both places the task is/will be, as we often say, “a long, loving look at the real.” This weekend I see familiar faces from interactions of many years ago on committees. Sometimes I remember the names that go with the faces, depending on the extent of what we shared. Most are still vibrant women who witness to hope. Some are less able but more dear, perhaps, as their willingness is still alive although their bodies, and sometimes their minds, fail them a bit. Next weekend it will be the same scene but with more recognition on my part.

What is evident to me is that light shines out from all of us. Love is deep and determination to endure is strong among us. And that is certainly enough to know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today Is the Day

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Ash Wednesday, bigheartedness, clean heart, determination, hear his voice, heart, honest intention, Joel, Matthew, motivation, psalm 51, Psalm 95, spirit, St. Paul, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, truth, whole heart

There’s an urgency running through the Scripture readings this morning that calls us to recognize this moment. It’s as if we are crouched at the starting line of a race, having registered late, maybe, but waiting for the gun to signal: “GO!” The prophet Joel starts it off with his initial words: Even now, declares the Lord. St. Paul picks up the theme telling us that now is the acceptable time and Psalm 95:8 (the gospel acclamation) chimes in with the familiar line: If today you hear God’s voice…These are the prompts that get us from “READY” to “SET” but what will start us running?

It’s all about the heart, you see. This season of Lent could be called “Forty Days of Big-heartedness.” Joel says it doesn’t matter how bad you’ve been because even now, declares the Lord, return to me with your whole heart! Rend your hearts, not your garments. (JL 2:12-13). Harden not your hearts, Psalm 95 adds. So how are we to accomplish this softening inside in order to draw closer to God?

First, we have to take stock of our lives – not necessarily an exhaustive search for what needs correction, but just an honest look in the mirror that will start us on the humble road to conversion. Then we have to ask for God’s help, as with anything we do. Psalm 51 gives us a way to start. A clean heart create for me, O God, and a steadfast spirit renew within me. Lastly, we might turn to today’s gospel for a detailed way to pray that makes concrete that humble turning that we wish to achieve. Just a few words of Jesus from the text (MT 6:1-6, 16-18) will give us the idea.

Jesus said to his disciples: Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them…When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you…do not let your left hand know what your right is doing…When you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret…When you fast…anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting…

It’s easy to get the point about honest intention, motivation and determination, i.e. working from the inside. May your Lenten journey begin today with attention to the beating of your heart for the good of all you encounter. And may the love you share during this season make you stronger in the knowledge that, in truth, it really is all about the heart.

In Beauty

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beauty, chant, determination, helpful, living, Navajo prayer, positive, respectful, seasons, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, walk, walking circle meditation

My first waking thought this morning was a line from a Navajo prayer that became a chant and then a walking circle meditation long ago. It expresses how I wish to leave Stonington, Maine and move through days to come that may not be easy. I intend to remember it every day as my determination to be positive and helpful, respectful and willing for whatever is called for in my living.

In beauty may I walk. All day long may I walk. Through the returning seasons may I walk. Beautifully I will possess again. Beautifully birds. Beautifully joyful birds. On the trail marked with pollen may I walk. With grasshoppers around my feet may I walk. With dew about my feet may I walk. With beauty may I walk. With beauty before me may I walk. With beauty behind me may I walk. With beauty above me may I walk. With beauty below me may I walk. With beauty all around me may I walk. In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, lively may I walk. Living again may I walk. It is finished in beauty. It is finished in beauty.

Rootedness

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Book of Psalms, Book of Revelation, determination, discerning heart, divisiveness, energy, enurance, grace, heart, inner work, Jesus, love, Luke, Lynn Bauman, meditation, Peace, pity, psalm 1, rootedness, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, wisdom

In Luke’s gospel account of Jesus with a blind man, it seems the lesson is that the man had to be clear about what it was he wanted in order for Jesus to heal him of his infirmity. We are at the beginning of a new season in the political life of our nation and need to be much clearer than we have been about what is possible and how we might effect the best possible outcome in the circumstances that exist now. I find it interesting that the first lectionary reading for today is the very beginning of the Book of Revelation and the response to that is the first in the Book of Psalms.  So we begin anew to deepen our intention, not only for endurance but for the love that has been assaulted in the events of the past year.

My pondering began with the following verses from the first reading. Grace and peace to you from the one who was and who is to come…Moreover, you have endurance and have suffered for my name, and you have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: you have lost the love you had at first. (REV 1:4, 2:2-4) I think about the divisiveness that has infected our country and I begin to examine my participation in its rhetoric. While I preach only love, I need to look deeply into my thoughts and feelings that sometimes can speak energetically as loudly as my words to prove a point, sometimes indicating a different message altogether.

Often at wisdom retreats we are guided in meditation to envision our energy going down from our feet through the ground to the very center of the world until we sense a rootedness and then draw up that energy into our heart. In the same way we image the energy reaching up high into the cosmos and again drawing down into our hearts. Thus we are stronger than before and as we do this exercise together, we know greater consciousness and possibility. Lynn Bauman’s translation of Psalm One called me today to this knowing. But the blessed ones grow strong as living trees, their roots sink deep and hidden beside flowing streams which come from you. And through life’s passing seasons they do not cease to bear a plenitude of fruit nor do they fade from giving shade of leaf that covers all with good. (Ps. 1:3)

All that having been said I am left with the question of Jesus to the blind man. It was not enough that this man was asking for pity; Jesus was likely to have been feeling that immediately upon hearing the man’s cry. What he wanted was determination and a discerning heart from the man about what was his intention for the future. Thus the question: What do you want me to do for you? We might consider that question deeply today, reflecting on the state of our hearts, to determine if we are ready and willing to follow through with the inner work involved in the intentional answer of: Please, let me see! (LK 18:41)

Whose Agenda?

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agenda, brilliance, deadlines, determination, flock, grace, hand, humanity, love, psalm 80, shepherd, strength, strong, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I have a lot to accomplish today – deadlines are everywhere – and it is so muggy out (and inside my head) I feel as if I can hardly move, never mind think! But then I read just four verses from Psalm 80 (1-3, 16) and my determination to cooperate with the grace I know exists comes flooding in. Well, it actually started as a trickle but has increased already as I write. Here are the words that are my impetus this morning for my small agenda and, as I think of it, might be a starter prayer of petition to get our country and the world back on track.

Listen, O Shepherd of humanity, leading your people like a flock, let your splendor come flashing forth and shine in beauty from the throne that rides the wings of the cherubim. Rise up, come strong among our tribes and clans, and with your overflowing love recall us back to life, O God of all, so we may see the shining brilliance of your face. Yes, that will be enough for us, for we will be restored to you again…Reach out your hand to us again and make us strong, so we may be as we once were.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Give A Little

Tags

deep breath, determination, generous, John, loaves and fishes, mindfulness, miracle, sharing, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

This morning as I read the story of the loaves and fishes (JN 6:1-15), I started thinking about the generous boy who didn’t hide or hoard his food but willingly made known what he had. And look what happened; he was the conduit for a miracle! Because of the internet, that kind of miracle can happen often now. If someone (and it seems even more engaging if it’s a child or teenager) tweets about a cause, the result is often stunning in money collected or people joining the effort. It’s heartwarming to read those stories.

I’m back with the boy in the story, however. He didn’t have a lot. He just shared his lunch. So today I wonder what I’ll be called to give up or share of myself or my goods for someone else. I hope I will share. I hope I will even notice the one who is asking either verbally or silently. It will take mindfulness on this rainy day when sleep seems more attractive than staying awake. A deep breath of determination is a start, so that I’m able to manage – and now for the next breath, and the next…