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Tag Archives: criticism

Bad News/Good News

07 Friday Feb 2020

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blame, criticism, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, praise, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

The news today continues to be astoundingly distressing for our country. From confusion and distress about the Iowa caucuses with the “electronic advances” that didn’t work to the vitriol being spewed in public by our political “leaders,” one wonders where we are going as a nation. It’s difficult to speak except in one’s closest circles, and even there we are sometimes surprised with unexpected and vehement differences of opinion!

Two readings helped me this morning to keep an open mind. Meg Wheatley’s page on “Praise and Blame” from her book, Perseverance, stated obvious facts and raised some good questions. “There is absolutely no way to avoid being criticized,” she says. “Nobody gets through life being described as totally wonderful. The question is, what do we do with criticism? Do we take it in, believe it and develop self-loathing? Do we assume that a criticism of something we’ve done is a condemnation of who we are?…Can we not instantly push criticism away yet not accept it totally? Can we treat praise the same way?…Praise and blame are two sides of the same coin…In both cases we need to listen with caution and discernment…”

Good advice.. and even better was what I found in the Scriptures for today in the verse before the gospel: “Blessed are they who have kept the word with a generous heart, and yield a harvest through perseverance.”

The Great Divide

20 Saturday Jan 2018

Posted by thesophiacenterforspirituality in Uncategorized

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attitude, closed, compromise, criticism, furloughed, government shutdown, hopelessness, lifting up, negativity, non-essential, sadness, solution, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

ashutdownOur federal government is in shutdown mode today. It’s difficult to comprehend what a sweeping statement that is. It does not mean that just the senators and representatives are not working. It isn’t like a holiday when the banks and post offices are closed. All “non-essential” federal employees are “furloughed” and won’t be paid until the situation changes. This affects entities like the military, the Centers for Disease Control, security at airports…just to name a few. Not being paid until the situation changes is as much a psychological issue for some as it is the physical lack of a paycheck. As I read what is termed “non-essential” I feel a sense of sadness and the hopelessness that comes of the inability in any relationship to reach a compromise. It’s difficult enough for two people who don’t agree on something and cannot seem to find a way through the impasse, let alone 100 senators and 435 representatives! At this moment in our history, this “shutdown” is emblematic of the divide in beliefs and the inability or unwillingness of people to listen deeply so as to hear and find ways to solutions.

What do we do now? Call me crazy but I think “solution” starts with attitude and the willingness to give up criticism as a way of social interaction. What is the content of our everyday speech? Do we find ways of lifting people up rather than finding their faults or just ignoring them altogether? Negativity is insidious and rampant now. Perhaps our efforts to turn things around will have farther reaching effects than we realize. And why not start by praying for our senators and representatives…and even the President…for a swift and amicable compromise?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who Decides?

25 Wednesday Oct 2017

Posted by thesophiacenterforspirituality in Uncategorized

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blame, blog, criticism, following, gratitude, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, praise, read, regret, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

akeyboardtypingEvery once in awhile I ask myself if writing this blog is still worth the time and energy it takes to do it. At those times – and in between as well – I look at the statistics. Yes, I can tell how many people read what I write each day and once in  awhile someone leaves a comment about what s/he has read. In addition, there is a way to ascertain where readers live – by country. That is the most amazing part of this endeavor as it shows me the reach of the “worldwide web.” Who would have thought that someone in Norway and/or Azerbaijan would be reading my simple morning musings! I generally remain unfazed by all of this information but occasionally realize I am worrying when the bar graph shows a dip or the number on the blog page says someone stopped “following.” Those are the moments when I usually hear gratitude from someone – especially someone I don’t know – who leaves a supportive comment and I breathe a sigh of relief.

I was made aware of this tendency to judge my practice by listening to other voices when I picked up Meg Wheatley’s book this morning. On a page called “Praise and Blame” she writes:

There is absolutely no way to avoid being criticized. Nobody gets through life described as totally wonderful. The question is, what do we do with criticism?…Do we assume that a criticism of something we’ve done is a condemnation of who we are? Or can we filter criticism and keep it focused as perhaps valuable but bounded information? Can we look for the kernels of truth there that might help us improve? Can we not instantly push criticism away, yet not accept it totally? And can we treat praise the same way? (Perseverance, p.65)

I think I’m closer to healthy answers to the above questions than I would have been in my younger days, but it was a good reality check. I trust that I will continue to write the blog as long as it feels right and then will let it go without regret and with gratitude to God, the author of it all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Golden Rule

18 Thursday Feb 2016

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affirmation, criticism, examination of consciousness, Golden Rule, Lenten journey, Matthew, negativity, self acceptance, self-knowledge, spiritual practice, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

agoldenI would be willing to wager that just in seeing the title above, you are able to intuit the content of today’s musing. It’s pretty familiar – that line from Matthew’s gospel (MT 7:12); sometimes that’s a danger. I went back to the beginning of today’s lectionary to look again for something to consider so as to not repeat myself, having most likely used this text before (and in case anyone is counting, today this blog will reach 15,000 hits in the somewhat over two years that I have been writing!). Everybody knows the Golden Rule, right? (“Do unto others whatever you would have them do unto you.” – just in case you need a jump start.)

Then I began to really think about specific things that I would feel good about and some things that would upset me should someone “do them” to me. Examples of affirmation and criticism come to mind. Depending on how sensitive I am to either or both of those experiences, they could be quite serious – even if the person “doing them to me” doesn’t mean things the ways I take them. Even an off-hand remark can have ramifications. Last evening I was in a group where the conversation turned to consideration of the level of negativity in speech and how as self-knowledge and self-acceptance grows, the necessity for comparison to and denigration of others diminishes. It was a great conversation that moved from there into consideration of spiritual practice and how that affects our actions. As I write this morning that seems appropriate as a way to assure adherence to the Golden Rule.

While I could spin off into a great number of ideas here, the bottom line seems to warrant an “examination of consciousness” of how I have been treating others lately and a determination to tuck the Golden Rule in my backpack for the rest of this Lenten journey. Won’t you join me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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