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Tag Archives: conversation

Course Correction

20 Thursday Aug 2020

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clean heart, conversation, steadfast spirit, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, willing spirit

I see a three way conversation in the lectionary readings for today that might be something to pay attention to as we reflect and open our hearts.

First, Ezekiel speaks for God and might be talking to Americans, noting our need for a course correction. God says: I will sprinkle clean water upon you to cleanse you from all your impurities…I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts…you shall be my people and I will be your God.

In response, the psalmist prays: A clean heart create for me, O God, and a steadfast spirit renew within me…a willing spirit sustain in me! And then another voice enters and calls urgently to us: IF TODAY YOU HEAR GOD’S VOICE, HARDEN NOT YOUR HEARTS!

God is always calling, hoping that this time we will hear. All we need to do is turn and look at what God offers. In all of it, there is willingness on God’s part. How can we resist such an invitation to a deeper life?

Give It A Try

01 Monday Jul 2019

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Abraham, conversation, Genesis, God, interchange, love of God, relationship with God, Sodom, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust

I love the image of God in today’s first reading from Genesis (18: 16-33). It’s a true anthropomorphic characterization that I think we ought to consider. God is thinking and expressing concerns about relationship with Abraham and to find out what He/God ought to do relative to the wickedness of the inhabitants of Sodom. (“Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?…I must go down there to see whether or not their actions fully correspond to the cry against them that comes to me. I mean to find out.“)

Following that musing is the famous bargaining conversation that God had with Abraham. (“If there were 50…30…or 20…or even ten innocent people in the city, would you not destroy the city for the sake of the ten?”) God agrees all along the way of that conversation. It’s such a wonderfully human interchange – sounding somewhat like a child to parent or even a bargaining of equals.

How wonderful it would be if we were that confident in “having God’s ear” and talking with that kind of confidence with God. I’m not actually talking about begging for a good outcome, necessarily, but rather just the manner of conversation that God and Abraham actually had with each other. If love and trust are the virtues that we share with our God, shouldn’t we be able to find that kind of confidence? It’s my bet that God would be as happy as we would with that comfortable interchange. Why not begin the conversation and listen for God’s response?

Miracles

27 Saturday Apr 2019

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Brother Curtis Almquist, conversation, Jesus, meeting, reality, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, walking miracle

Just a word today as I prepare to spend the day with about 100 of my Sisters (always a joy) to pray and reflect on our lives together. We do this on a regular basis but today is preliminary to our “General Chapter,” a meeting of hearts and minds that usually happens now every six years to examine our reality and to set a direction for the future. Our conversation started yesterday afternoon and will continue through tomorrow. With no words of my own this morning that might approximate the meaning of this event for me, I offer a line from the daily message of the Society of St. John the Evangelist.

Brother Curtis Almquist suggests: It’s not just Jesus who is a walking miracle; you also are a walking miracle. (ssje.org)

What would our lives – and the world – be like if we all believed that saying and lived out of it?

Just an Idea…

27 Wednesday Mar 2019

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conversation, hopeful, ideas, Meg Wheatley, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Turning To One Another

Here’s a short “word” from Meg Wheatley that I read yesterday and heartily support. The question is whether or not you or I will take it to heart and act upon it.

I hope we can claim conversation as our route back to each other, and as the path forward to a hopeful future. It only requires imagination and courage and faith. These are qualities possessed by everyone. Now is the time to exercise them to their fullest. (Turning to One Another, p. 5)

Could it possibly be as simple as inviting a few people to meet to “kick around a few ideas,” making sure that at least one of them is a creative thinker, one someone who follows through on ideas and one who is known to you but not yet in your circle of friends? When you meet, bring along the quote from Meg Wheatley and see what happens. I’d be happy to hear about your success.

Eye Problems

25 Monday Jun 2018

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conversation, differences, eye, Jesus, judging others, live and let live, Matthew, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, tragic flaws

aeyerubSometimes I’m convinced that I have something in my eye but it turns out that my 70-year old eyes just need a little lubrication on occasion. That’s an easy fix as were the days when, as a child, I occasionally had to go to my mother for help with getting something tiny like a fleck of dirt or – at worst – an eyelash out of my eye. It was always amazing how much larger the offending material appeared than it really was.

Jesus must have been really disturbed by the judgmental behavior of his disciples in today’s gospel text to use such hyperbolic language about seeing clearly. It’s that quote from Matthew 7:1-5 where he warns them to stop judging unless they want to be similarly judged. His follow-up question points to just how serious an infraction judging people is. “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye” he says, “but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?” Even a wooden splinter would be quite painful.

It seems to me that judging others is one of our most common “tragic flaws.” We judge people by what they wear, how they style their hair, the color of their skin and where they live as represented by the accent in their speech. How ridiculous is that? One of the more recent red flags for harsh judgment is body art (tattoos) or piercings. Before judging why someone would want to “do that to their body,” we might want to think about that “why” question.

I could go on but I already clearly experienced the message in the middle of the second paragraph when I had to stop writing and put drops in my eyes. (This is not a joke. I really had to do that!) So here’s a suggestion that might make a difference in our consciousness. Before we decide to just “live and let live,” why not strike up a conversation with someone different in some way from you and see if you can come to understand just a bit more deeply why the person looks, speaks or acts in a different manner from you. If we do that, maybe we wouldn’t need so much help getting those planks out of our eyes!

 

 

 

 

 

Good Conversation

16 Saturday Jun 2018

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closer, conversation, curious, differences, different, good listening, judgment, listen, listening, Meg Wheatley, messages, relationship, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Turning To One Another

alistenI’m up early to greet the day with Meg Wheatley’s book, turning to one another. (Yes, the title is written in all lower case letters – most likely to emphasize the desire to have a conversation of equality.) I haven’t visited this treasure for a long time but have been trying to live with its messages nonetheless. It all seems so timely now when, day by day, so much in the world seems so fractured. I don’t know why it called to me as I turned to set my coffee on my side table. Perhaps it’s the appearance of the book itself, skinny but tall and dressed in a coat of red and yellow on its spine. Here are the two paragraphs that wouldn’t let me go this morning.

I hope you’ll begin a conversation, listening for what’s new. Listen as best you can for what’s different, for what surprises you. See if this practice helps you learn something new. Notice whether you develop a better relationship with the person you’re talking with. If you try this with several people, you might find yourself laughing in delight as you realize how many unique ways there are to be human.

We have the opportunity many times a day, everyday, to be the one who listens to others, curious rather than certain. But the greatest benefit of all is that listening moves us closer. When we listen with less judgment, we always develop better relationship with each other. It’s not differences that divide us. It’s our judgments about each other that do. Curiosity and good listening bring us back together. (p.36)

 

 

 

 

 

Betrayal

28 Wednesday Mar 2018

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betrayal, conversation, faith formation, Jesus, Judas, Last Supper, Matthrew, sadness, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

abetrayalI was a parish faith formation director when mini-courses first made their appearance in religious education. I was a fan for several reasons, not the least of which was the fact that it was easier to get four teachers (one for each 6-week commitment) than to find one willing to show up consistently for a 24-session course. The students also liked the diversity of teachers and topics. One year I decided to push the envelope even further by offering a one-week intensive which would replace one of the 6-week courses for 9th or 10th graders. The curriculum was as follows: mandatory attendance at an introductory 90-minute overview in the week prior to Holy Week as well as participation in services on Palm Sunday, Holy (Maundy) Thursday, Good Friday and the Easter Vigil and a one-page reflection paper on the experience, submitted within 2 weeks after Easter. Many of the students took up the challenge and profited so greatly from the experience that I repeated the course for a number of years. One of the added benefits of the experiment was the fact that most of the students needed a ride to church so many parents participated with them and found it profitable as well.

The moment of most impact for many of the students was an exercise during the introductory session. I passed out a paper with a graphic of a large table and twelve circles, representing guests at a festive meal. Students were asked to think of the twelve most important people in their lives whom they would invite to such a gathering. They wrote the initials of their guests in the circles, pictured the full table, the enjoyment of the participants and their own satisfaction at having such good family and friends with whom to celebrate. Then they were to picture themselves the next day at a store and imagine the following scenario. As they were considering a purchase they suddenly heard two people talking in the next aisle. When they recognized the voices of two people who had been at their party the night before and just at the moment of preparing to join them, the conversation turned to comments on the previous night’s experience. The two friends spoke in derogatory terms about the whole event and about their “friend” – the host – as well. At this point I asked the students to react on paper to how they presumed they would feel in such a situation.

While the above situation pales as we think of today’s gospel of the Last Supper (MT 26:14-25) and the betrayal of Judas, for young teenagers it could be as if the floor dropped out of their world. If you have never experienced a betrayal by any significant person in your life, thank God! If, however, you have had or can conjecture what such a moment would be like, consider the sadness of Jesus at the betrayal of his friend and companion, Judas. Perhaps you will be led to a conversation with Jesus where you are the comforter and he is in need of your presence.

 

 

 

 

 

Good Examples

08 Thursday Feb 2018

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Black History Month, conversation, healing, Jesus, language, Mark, opinion, prejudice, public service, sharing, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

aconversationLast night I watched a special program – part of a series, I believe – celebrating Black History Month. It was Robin Roberts interviewing Valerie Jarrett, Senior Advisor to President Barack Obama for the full eight years of his presidency. It was more like a living room conversation with about 100 friends sitting around the perimeter asking the occasional question or adding an opinion. And Valerie Jarrett was so fine! It was a delight to experience two such vibrant women speaking clearly about the privilege of public service, the challenges of life in any situation and their desire to be a force for good for the next generations of Americans. What I found most helpful was the fact that they did not need to preach about those topics. Both were just strong women with no need for abrasiveness or negativity to make a point. They simply shared their experiences and ideas and the tenor of the conversation caused truth to shine through.

I thought back to that event this morning when I read today’s rather brief and stark gospel from Mark (7:24-30) about the Syrophoenician-born Greek woman who challenged Jesus at what appeared to be not his finest hour. The text tells us that Jesus “entered a house and wanted no one to know about it, but he could not escape notice.” He must not have had anyone with him because it seems the woman just slipped in unannounced and unimpeded to beg his intercession in curing her daughter. He was clearly not in a mood to deal with this foreigner – a woman, no less – at that very moment but even his uncharacteristic, unkind reply could not dissuade her. After being called “a dog” she retorted that “even the dogs under the table eat the children’s scraps.”

We know the story. Her chutzpah got her what she wanted; her daughter was healed. Unwilling or unable to see Jesus in such a bad mood, I’m always left wondering if perhaps he is testing her for some purpose…But then I decide to allow Jesus at least one day of grumpiness! The point is that the woman didn’t need to rant and rave about how unfair he was being or walk off in a huff questioning his integrity. She just saw her chance and took it, saying what was true in the same challenging metaphoric language that he had used.

So here’s to women (and men) who don’t use prejudice against them as a weapon but rather take the high road in situations that could be volatile or destructive, turning them to lessons of right action. They shine like the sunlight on the strong, shimmering tree outside my window, covered this morning in the icy remnants of yesterday’s storm, now transformed into light.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Authentic Authority

27 Wednesday Sep 2017

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A Deep Breath of Life, Alan Cohen, authentic, authority, conversation, empowerment, Jesus, power, respect, role, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

ajesusauthorityAffirmation can come from any source at any time. I have a present and clear example this morning of exactly what I needed as a first item being checked off on a full calendar of tasks and events today. In conversation yesterday with a colleague who is unable to be at a 3-day meeting this weekend because of the death of a close friend, he suddenly said, “Oh, I was supposed to be chaplain for the group!” (This is a position of prayer preparation for the days and is often also one of awareness of the need to take a break for silence in deliberation.) I told him I would do it for him and this morning wrote a brief message to the committee that said, “I have agreed to step into the role of chaplain for the meeting.” Three times I added clauses that said: “if you all agree” and “unless someone else desires to do it” and “if it’s okay with everyone.” Each time I erased the addition and finally said to myself: “Just do it!”

Next I picked up Alan Cohen’s A Deep Breath of Life and read the entry for 9/27 entitled “Real Authority.” The message could not have been clearer to me. Here is what it said, in part:

The words authority and authentic are derived from the same root word. When you are authentic, you proceed from the deepest place of empowerment within you, and your words and actions bear the most effective results. When you do not act authentically, you are not effective because you are moving from a place of fear or emptiness.

The Bible tells us that the people respected Jesus because “he spoke with authority. When we tap into our divinity, the true author, God, authorizes us to be authentic and, thus, we bear the highest and only authority.

Cohen concludes with a brief affirmation prayer that says: “Let me not hide my true power under a cloak of smallness or unworthiness.” And I say: Amen to that!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Curiosity

07 Tuesday Mar 2017

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beliefs, conversation, curiousity, deep listening, interactions, Meg Wheatley, reflection, spiritual practice, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Turning To One Another

aconversationYesterday I was able to meet with my monthly “spiritual practices circle” for the first time this year. It was a lovely way to spend a slice of the day and a renewal of my conviction about the importance of deep listening and conversation. I was taken back to that privileged time this morning as I read some of Meg Wheatley’s comments in her book, Turning to One Another. Her point is something to remember in the complex and tumultuous times in which we live. I offer her words as a reflection that may open us in new ways  in our interactions with others today – or any day.

It is very difficult to give up our certainties – our positions, our beliefs, our explanations. These help define us; they lie at the heart of our personal identity. Yet I believe we will succeed in changing this world only if we can think and work together in new ways. Curiosity is what we need. We don’t have to let go of what we believe, but we do need to be curious about what someone else believes. We do need to acknowledge that their way of interpreting the world might be essential to our survival…

To be curious about how someone else interprets things, we have to be willing to admit that we’re not capable of figuring things out alone. If our solutions don’t work as well as we want them to, if our explanations of why something happened don’t feel sufficient, it’s time to begin asking others what they see and think. When so many interpretations are available, I can’t understand why we would be satisfied with superficial conversations where we pretend to agree with one another. (p. 35)

 

 

 

 

 

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