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Tag Archives: confidence

Try Again!

02 Saturday Jan 2021

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centering prayer, confidence, conviction, discipline, Jesus, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Here we are again. It is a new beginning. The year 2020 that was supposed to bring us clear vision (20/20, of course) seems a spectacular failure in hindsight. It seems a collective nightmare to most Americans. We wonder why the pandemic still has such a hold on us, why there is such division still, so much disregard for the common good. I look at myself and lament my fatigue, lassitude and lack of motivation. Then I look at my prayer corner and wonder when I will regain the will to sit there. How can the “Just sitting” of centering prayer take so much effort? (Clue: It’s the letting go that accompanies the sitting that is the difficult part.)

The “breakdown” year is behind me. What is staring me in the face is a big sign in my mind’s eye. It says: DISCIPLINE! A picture flashes after that frame. It is Jesus gathering the children to sit with him – even on his lap. He is saying “Let the little children come to me.” And suddenly I want to be right there, folded in his arms like a child who hears that sentence and feels his arms around me for the confidence to sit with him.

May we find that confidence to approach this scene and sit today – or visit a church or sing a hymn or approach the throne of God. Whatever works to begin this new year with desire, conviction…discipline, born of love (no matter our slow start) will surely bring us back to our best selves where Christ is waiting in joy.

Saturday Morning in the Convent

29 Saturday Jul 2017

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community life, community sharing, confidence, convent, Exodus, horarium, Julie Andrews, Luke, Martha, Mary, meals, Moses, praise, prayer, psalm 50, recreation, sacrifice, Saturday, schedule, tasks, teaching, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, The Sound of Music

ajulieIn the “good old days” when I was young and eager – especially in the novitiate, but also in the convent at my first teaching assignment where I lived in a group of 21 Sisters – life was very structured and predictable. The “horarium” (schedule) of the days was built around times of prayer, teaching school, meals and community sharing time – known in the novitiate at least as “recreation,” a.k.a. the hour after supper when we relaxed and talked to one another while knitting or listening to music or some such simple activity before preparing schoolwork for the next day. Saturdays were set aside for cleaning and other charges (read: household tasks) or meetings and the occasional planning time for community celebration days.

Today is Saturday. Although nearly everything has changed about the rhythm of community life, it seems that the Saturday horarium is part of our DNA that has not disappeared. I woke up today feeling altogether unable to even make a list of necessary tasks, nevermind the possibility of achieving anything. Lying lazily in bed listening to the birds who’ve been up for hours, I heard Julie Andrews singing in my head: What will this day be like…I wonder…as she was getting up her gumption to take on a job as a nanny for the seven children of the widowed Captain Von Trapp.

Having seen The Sound of Music several times over the years, I have learned a lot about attitude – starting with the above-mentioned song about confidence. I was reminded of that in my short reverie this morning and so got up determined to face the day in a positive way. Downstairs I encountered two of my three housemates who had been up maybe longer than the birds – one having already accomplished preliminary tasks that would allow her to concentrate next on what is central to her major plan of the day and the other whose response to a needy phone call of yesterday had allowed her to formulate a plan much larger than the requesting person could have imagined. The most amazing thing about my encounters with all this news was just a smile, knowing that difference does not mean distress and that we are now free to live our commitments as we can and use our energy for the highest good of ourselves and all others.

I practically laughed aloud when I returned to do the one task that is not discriminated by the day of the week. (This blog is a discipline that marks my days, much as the horarium of yesteryear gave shape to everything.) It is all a question of listening to God speaking through whatever is in front of us. Each one of the readings told me that this morning. How can I not proceed in delight?!

  1. EX 24:3-8. When Moses came to the people and related the words and ordinances of the Lord, they all answered with one voice, “We will do everything that the Lord has told us.”
  2. PS 50:1-2, 14. God the Lord has spoken and summoned the earth, from the rising of the sun to its setting. From Zion, perfect in beauty, God shines forth…Offer to God praise as your sacrifice and fulfill your vows to the Most High…
  3. LK 10: 38-42. Jesus entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” The Lord said to her in reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

Amazing, no? Happy Saturday to all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reminding God

21 Tuesday Mar 2017

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care, confidence, failure, God, goodness, humble heart, lost, love, path, permission, psalm 25, surrender, teach, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust, wandering

apathPsalm 25 is clearly one in which we can see that the psalmist has an ongoing relationship with God. This morning, in an alternative translation of the psalm, I got the notion that God needed reminding of the responsibility of mutuality in that relationship. The lectionary only gives verses 4-8 for our consideration but I want to introduce the text with verse one because it made me smile (as in a parent saying to children who are acting up in some way: “Don’t make me come up there…”). The psalmist begins by reminding God: To you I surrender up my soul, O God. In you I place my deepest trust. May I not regret this wanton act of love; may it never be defeated by some foe.

Perhaps I’m misinterpreting the tone of the psalmist. It may be desire rather than expectation that is being expressed, but I rather like the thought that one might have the confidence that gives permission for such presumption in relationship with God. However you interpret the following verses, the prayer seems a good one for today.

Lead me out upon the path of highest truth that I may learn your wisdom, Lord my God, my saving help day after day. Remember all you’ve ever been to us; from ancient times till now we’ve known your constant care. Remember me, O God, and forget the times when in my youth I failed you. In your great goodness put all this behind, and show the path again to me, even when I’m lost and wandering far away. For you are ever just and fair, you guide all those of humble heart and teach the gentle ones your ways.

 

 

 

 

 

Remembering Trust

28 Tuesday Jun 2016

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confidence, defense, faith, God, Jesus, Matthew, shelter, storm at sea, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust

astorm

Today’s Scriptures add a postscript to my reflection of yesterday when I was searching for a lifeline in the midst of all the pain of the world. Akin to love, or perhaps a by-product of it, is the reality, the necessity, of trust. It shows up in the gospel of the storm at sea (MT 8: 23-27) as Jesus responds to the disciples’ cry to save them with the question, “Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?” They would have done well to remember what was probably one of their childhood “catechism lessons” repeated daily and appearing still as our gospel acclamation today: I  trust in the Lord; my soul trusts in his word. (PS 130:5) The conclusion of that same psalm (vs. 13-14) is strong in its confidence that God’s care is with us in all things and will remain – if we choose to remain in God. It is enough for today.

Let all who put their trust in you rejoice, for you take us in and give us shelter in your love. Your name becomes our shielding presence, our sure defense. In you we find our place secure and know your grace as home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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