Jealousy

Tags

competition, consequences, generosity, heart, jealousy, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I had a conversation recently with someone who had received word that an old friend had died. They had lost touch some years ago, primarily perhaps because this younger woman was not able to allow what she saw as competition for the “best friend” designation in the relationship. We spoke of the sad and destructive power of jealousy. I was reminded of the conversation this morning by Meg Wheatley as I opened to a page on the subject of jealousy from her book, Perseverance. I thought it a worthy topic for reflection since the subtlety of its appearance can cause great harm if we don’t pay attention to our feelings and recognize the need to cultivate its opposite: generosity. Here’s what she says:

Jealousy and generosity are reverse images of one another. In response to any circumstance one or the other will arise, guaranteed. Since they inhabit the same space, only one can appear at any time; they cancel each other out. Jealousy arises as generosity disappears, generosity flourishes as jealousy is stilled…

As closely connected as jealousy and generosity are, they create very different consequences. If jealousy predominates, we turn inward, shrivel our hearts, and lose strength. If generosity grows, we grow also. Our world expands. We realize there’s enough to go round. We realize we don’t need everything we thought we did. The world in general feels more reliable, more trustworthy, more enjoyable…

The world expands from the inside out – it’s our hearts that have enlarged. We not only feel more loving, we’re also more open and aware. We see more, we take in more, we let in more.

Jealousy is such a waste of a good human heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Olympic Messages

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alike, competition, cooperation, dedication, difference, discipline, Human Family, Maya Angelou, Olympics, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, unalike

I’ve been watching as much of the Olympics on television as I can stay awake for because I am overwhelmed by the dedication and discipline of so many young people from all over the world. (The oldest competitors are considered “old” if they are over 35 years old, a birthday I have not seen in a very long time!) The television coverage is helpful, too, with brief segments that allow us to see these athletes as people of different backgrounds who have families and struggles and favorite things like ice cream…so that the sport that drives them does not consume them. I’m sure there are those who cannot bear to lose but one of the advantages of participating in a team is learning that old lesson that “it isn’t whether you win or lose but how you play the game.” All of this leads to the conclusion that working together in cooperation – even with a healthy spirit of competition – is possible and desirable among the nations of the world.

Every so often in the evening coverage there is a break that does not advertise any product but rather shows pictures of people. The text is read by a person whose voice sounded familiar and when I finally was sure it was Maya Angelou, speaking truth from beyond the grave, I looked up a line and, sure enough, it was her poem that she was reading, called Human Family. I will write it here as I hear it each evening rather than in the poetic form to illustrate what I have tried to indicate above – that is, the reality that needs so desperately to permeate the consciousness of the planet at the present time.

I note the obvious differences in the human family. Some of us are serious, some thrive on comedy. Some declare their lives are lived as true profundity, and others claim they really live the real reality. The variety of our skin tones can confuse, bemuse, delight, brown and pink and beige and purple, tan and blue and white. I’ve sailed upon the seven seas and stopped in every land. I’ve seen the wonders of the world not yet one common man. I know ten thousand women called Jane and Mary Jane, but I’ve not seen any two who really were the same. Mirror twins are different although their features jibe, and lovers think quite different thoughts while lying side by side. We love and lose in China, we weep on England’s moors, and laugh and moan in Guinea, and thrive on Spanish shores. We seek success in Finland, are born and die in Maine. In minor ways we differ, in major we’re the same. I note the obvious differences between each sort and type, but we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.

May our prayer always take the form of a striving to understand this truth: that we are more alike than unalike.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me, Envious?

Tags

a place of abundance, comparison, competition, fairness, God is love, Jesus, Matthew, new paradigm, parable, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, vineyard

Today we have that great but difficult parable of the workers in the vineyard. (MT 20:1-16) The ones who have worked all day are last in line to get their pay and see those who have been only working for an hour getting what they themselves had been promised for the whole day’s work. It seems they are excited wondering how much more they will get than the agreed upon amount. What a surprise when they receive exactly what they were promised in the beginning! They are, to say the least, not happy. Exclamations like, “It’s not fair!” come to mind. Once again Jesus is trying to wake people up to a different way of living. The core of the lesson is in the landowner’s question to the disgruntled workers: Are you envious because I am generous?

Are we happy at the good fortune of others or are we always comparing whose piece of pie is bigger or who got the most notice for the job we did together? This is truly a hard saying for those of us for whom this flies in the face of the work ethic with which we were raised. But it’s time for a new paradigm! If we come to recognize that all is gift in our lives, we won’t be spending time on “tit-for-tat” living or evaluation of whether or not everything is fair. If we come from a place of abundance in our living rather than from scarcity we will quickly learn that life is not a competition but, as one of my housemates sees it, a huge sandbox where we all learn to play together sharing everything with anyone in need. If we live in the conviction that God is Love, we will find ourselves embraced in a universe of care where we understand that whatever we have, as long as we have God, our lives are always enough.