There are some days that I would rather have stayed in bed. Take today when I woke up to my phone alarm and kept putting in the wrong code until it gave me a message that said, “Phone disabled.” I had never seen that before! Then I realized that the wonderful spring weather of the last three days had disappeared as well; my window view and aching body told me it was likely to be a rainy day. And then there was the reading from Exodus where God’s wrath was about to be visited on the people Moses has led out of Egypt who had come depraved and stiff-necked (Hmm – like me?). They were certainly lucky that they had such a convincing and beloved champion as Moses who was able to convince God not to destroy the whole lot of them. (EX 32:7-14) For some reason all this made me want to turn to the wisdom of Thomas Merton’s Book of Hours where a quote from Thursday shook me out of my grumbling mood. I will try to remember it all day long.
My mind is scattered among things, not because of my work, but because I am not detached and I do not attend first of all to God. On the other hand, I do not attend to Him because I am so absorbed in all these objects and events. I have to wait on His grace. But how stubborn and slow my nature is. And how I keep confusing myself and complicating things for myself by useless twisting and turning. What I need most of all is the grace to really accept God as He gives Himself to me in every situation. (p. 148)