Who’s Complaining?

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blame, complain, coping, coronavirus, solution, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

The first line of the first reading in today’s lectionary texts could have been written about us in our present predicament, i.e. Covid-19, the coronavirus. From the Hebrew Scriptures we read: With their patience worn out by the journey, the people complained against God and Moses. (NM 21:48)

When things aren’t going our way, especially if the distress continues for a long time, people usually begin to look around for someone to blame for the trouble. In the Bible passage today, the guilty party is clear. Moses is at fault; he brought them into the desert. He could complain also, however, since he was just doing what God directed.

We’ve now been in this situation for six months – throughout the spring and our summer vacations. Who is the culprit in our predicament? Some say nations in faraway lands. Some blame the president of the United States. Then there are the people who refuse to wear a mask, or those who want to party in large groups. There’s enough blame this time to go around. The big question, however, is not how the virus began and grew to pandemic strength, but rather how we are responding to the situation now at hand.

It’s tricky because ultimately we are fighting something that is invisible and we aren’t good at seeing what cannot be seen. We have to look deep inside ourselves for coping mechanisms that will help rather than harm. Pointing fingers is no remedy. We need to be about silencing complaint and be doing what we are instructed that will help to mitigate the disease until such time as a safe and effective vaccine is found and made available.

Pointing fingers and complaining never did solve anything. It just escalates the problem. It has been said that those who are not part of the solution are usually part of the problem. It’s time to stop complaining and find out how we can help. It may include some uncomfortable or inconvenient practices but it surely beats wandering in the desert for 40 years!

Bad News/Good News

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blame, criticism, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, praise, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

The news today continues to be astoundingly distressing for our country. From confusion and distress about the Iowa caucuses with the “electronic advances” that didn’t work to the vitriol being spewed in public by our political “leaders,” one wonders where we are going as a nation. It’s difficult to speak except in one’s closest circles, and even there we are sometimes surprised with unexpected and vehement differences of opinion!

Two readings helped me this morning to keep an open mind. Meg Wheatley’s page on “Praise and Blame” from her book, Perseverance, stated obvious facts and raised some good questions. “There is absolutely no way to avoid being criticized,” she says. “Nobody gets through life being described as totally wonderful. The question is, what do we do with criticism? Do we take it in, believe it and develop self-loathing? Do we assume that a criticism of something we’ve done is a condemnation of who we are?…Can we not instantly push criticism away yet not accept it totally? Can we treat praise the same way?…Praise and blame are two sides of the same coin…In both cases we need to listen with caution and discernment…”

Good advice.. and even better was what I found in the Scriptures for today in the verse before the gospel: “Blessed are they who have kept the word with a generous heart, and yield a harvest through perseverance.”

The Blame Game

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Adam and Eve, blame, forbidden fruit, God, love, perfect, shame, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

It takes courage sometimes to own up to our faults and failings and some of us have a more difficult time than others in doing so. “Why is that?” I asked myself this morning as I read the passage from Genesis 3 where God asks Adam and Eve who told them they were naked. If that wasn’t enough, God also admits to knowing they ate the forbidden fruit. “The woman made me do it,” Adam says. “The serpent made me to it,” Eve chimes in. It seems there’s always someone around – or some circumstance – that’s a logical place to put the blame. But why not just admit that we are not perfect?

Think about it. The God that created all the universes that ever were or will be deigned to create each one of us uniquely. Even our fingerprints are different from everyone else’s. There must be enough forgiveness in the world for each of us to receive what we need when we make mistakes or even do terrible things. (If you are reading this, you probably don’t belong in the “most wicked” category.) Why are we so afraid of imperfection? 

We have been taught to be ashamed of our bodies as well as of our bad habits. We didn’t come in that way. Think of the babies that you know or that you see on television commercials. They are delighted with everything. When does the blaming start? And why? God “knows the number of the stars and calls us each by name.” How can we doubt that kind of care? It seems today must be a day for a sign on our mirrors to read while brushing our teeth or our hair if we still have any. (Did you know that baldness is “in” these days?)

The sign should say “I am a marvelous creature of God” or “God loves me just as I am and so should you!” Or make up your own declaration – the bolder the better. Trust me; the world will benefit from our efforts and from any smiles that result from this practice.

Take A Good Look

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blame, difference, faults, fear, Hearts on Fire, innocence, join, Prayer of Reconciliation, righteousness, separation, spirit, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, together

In the little book of Jesuit prayers entitled Hearts on Fire, I opened this morning at random to one called “Prayer of Reconciliation.” I was interested in what the prayer said about the mental process that can quickly lead to blame in our dealing with others as well as our judgment of their motivations. When we come from a place of difference or separation it becomes easy to denigrate the other while shoring up a skewed sense of our own innocence or righteousness. We would do well to carry a small mirror with us (if only a virtual one) to look into our own eyes and see the love that is God’s Spirit looking back at us before we judge another.

Lord Christ, help us to see what it is that joins us together, not what separates us. For when we see only what it is that makes us different, we too often become aware of what is wrong with others. We see only their faults and weaknesses, interpreting their actions as flowing from malice or hatred rather than fear. Even when confronted with evil, Lord, you forgave and sacrificed yourself rather than sought revenge. Teach us to do the same by the power of your Spirit. (William Breault, S.J.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who Decides?

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blame, blog, criticism, following, gratitude, Meg Wheatley, perseverance, praise, read, regret, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Every once in awhile I ask myself if writing this blog is still worth the time and energy it takes to do it. At those times – and in between as well – I look at the statistics. Yes, I can tell how many people read what I write each day and once in  awhile someone leaves a comment about what s/he has read. In addition, there is a way to ascertain where readers live – by country. That is the most amazing part of this endeavor as it shows me the reach of the “worldwide web.” Who would have thought that someone in Norway and/or Azerbaijan would be reading my simple morning musings! I generally remain unfazed by all of this information but occasionally realize I am worrying when the bar graph shows a dip or the number on the blog page says someone stopped “following.” Those are the moments when I usually hear gratitude from someone – especially someone I don’t know – who leaves a supportive comment and I breathe a sigh of relief.

I was made aware of this tendency to judge my practice by listening to other voices when I picked up Meg Wheatley’s book this morning. On a page called “Praise and Blame” she writes:

There is absolutely no way to avoid being criticized. Nobody gets through life described as totally wonderful. The question is, what do we do with criticism?…Do we assume that a criticism of something we’ve done is a condemnation of who we are? Or can we filter criticism and keep it focused as perhaps valuable but bounded information? Can we look for the kernels of truth there that might help us improve? Can we not instantly push criticism away, yet not accept it totally? And can we treat praise the same way? (Perseverance, p.65)

I think I’m closer to healthy answers to the above questions than I would have been in my younger days, but it was a good reality check. I trust that I will continue to write the blog as long as it feels right and then will let it go without regret and with gratitude to God, the author of it all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Non-duality

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awareness, blame, collective input, common ground, deep thought, dialogue, difference, headlines, Jan Phillips, No Ordinary Time, non-duality, polarization, salvation, separation, speak from the heart, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, wake up

Today is the fifth in our discussion series of No Ordinary Time, the inspiring book of Jan Phillips. We will be talking about the concept of and our desire for non-duality. We have come into and live in a world where things are defined by separation and difference: young or old, meek or bold, joy or pain, wealth or poverty…so many things. We are waking up to the fact that our salvation comes from the ability to go beyond those distinctions to find more than common ground. We must come to unity in our diversity if we are to survive and thrive.

Jan’s text is brilliant in setting out the territory we must traverse in order to find such a solution, all of which is worthy of quoting. I offer just a bit of what she says at sunrise for your consideration and wish you the impetus and stamina to make it a reality for your own life and for the world.

What’s happening in the world is a result of our collective input. The morning headlines are the news that we are making as a whole human family, by what we do and what we fail to do. Each one of us is a co-creator of the culture we are immersed in, and if we want to see change, we can make change by changing ourselves, our thinking and our destructive habits.

Blame is not useful. Polarization is not useful. Bitterness and negativity are not useful. What’s useful in these perilous times is deep thought and dialogue. What’s useful is a willingness to speak from our hearts, to say out loud what we hunger for, what we’re willing to live for, and what it is we can no longer abide. We are attendants at the wake of the old way, and each of us – through our actions, our thoughts, our work and relationships – is midwifing a new world into existence. This is our destiny, our meaning, our purpose, and when we come to our days with this awareness, when we sense the oak in the acorn of our beings, then we will have the energy to move mountains and shift the tides. (p. 126)

May it be so in our time!

 

 

 

 

 

A Higher Law

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blame, Jesus, Matthew, Moses, spiritual life, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

This morning’s gospel, Matthew 5:17-37, follows the familiar section called The Beatitudes and it is in that spirit that Jesus speaks of coming not to abolish but to fulfill the law of Moses. Jesus calls his listeners to a deeper way of looking at behaviors, challenging us to look into our hearts and act from love. This demands that we move toward the one whom earthly law would see as our adversary rather than taking him/her to court. And he puts a small twist into such a scenario when he says:

Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, go first and be reconciled with your brother and then come and offer your gift.

What Jesus indicates here is that there is no separation between our living in this world and our spiritual life. This truth is reminiscent of the scriptural question of how we can love God whom we do not see if we do not love those around us whom we can see. Thus, spiritual practice is empty if we are at odds with the people in our lives. But there’s something else in the above quote. Jesus doesn’t say “If you have something against your brother…” – indicating that you have been wronged – but rather, “If you recall that your brother has something against you…” In this case, it seems, the reconciliation needs to be initiated from me – the wrongdoer – not my brother – the one who has been wronged. That implies that we need to give up what has become a national pastime in our culture: blaming. We blame the traffic for our tardiness instead of leaving enough time to get to work, we blame the way people dress for our suspicion of them as they walk by us on the street, we blame noise for our anger against teenagers and shoot into their car (this morning’s news!) and we go to court to see if we can “milk the system” to our benefit. These are exaggerated examples for those of us trying to live a spiritual life, I know, but I would call our attention to the last verse of the gospel reading where Jesus says, “Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No’. Honesty is a hard-won virtue but most important if we are to live daily from our hearts embracing the higher law of God, the law of love.