Lists

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be, encountering time, gift, growth spurt, lists, motivation, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, wasted moments

I woke up this morning full of urgency. I looked at my calendar to try to discern when everything (all “normal” activities) stopped because of the word and reality of PANDEMIC coming to us. It was somewhere in the midst of early March and I have been floating along since then without a definite sense of what to do – and, more to the point – how to be. In one sense I feel as if I have been wasting time while in a different way I think I have begun to live into a new way of encountering time.

It’s difficult to explain what is different but the urgency in me seems to be the need to make lists so I can be more deliberative about this “wrinkle in time.” There are tasks to do which I have been considering for a couple of weeks that still sit undone, connections to be made that need a motivation as well as a different mode of execution (telephone, computer or snail mail rather than meeting in a physical space) in addition to books and articles to be read — some of which have deadlines.

I feel as if we have been given a gift. I know that sounds incredibly counterintuitive and horrific in the face of the sadness and death but in the face of disaster we often find possibility. What is happening this morning to me is the call to be alert so as not to waste this time. It does not mean to use it in the same way as I have before but rather to dig deep to see what will have a positive outcome for the rest of my life.

My lists will hopefully serve as a marker for inner attention but may be a map as well for the kind of a “growth spurt” that I long for but cannot achieve in any active way. The motivation will be more essential, perhaps, than the actual activity and the urgency will provide the energy for everything. In a word, I think it all comes down to discipline, which – as an inner attitude – manifests as wisdom work for myself but also for the good of the world.

Stillness

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be, creation, Romans, St. Paul, stillness, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Lent seems to be moving so slowly. Easter is late this year. I have to look diligently when outside for signs of spring – just the tiniest sprigs of green against the house – hoping that the still freezing temperatures will not overcome them. The view from my window is so monochromatic (whew! Where did that word come from this early?!) I’m not sure I can trust the sun this morning to effect a change. I feel as if the silence is so big everything would break if I moved more than my fingers on the keyboard. Traffic is silent. The birds seem to be hiding from the neighborhood hawk. Everything seems like that line from Paul’s letter to the Romans: “All creation waits on tiptoe to see the children of God coming into their own.”

How difficult it is to remain still and just BE. There is always so much to do. I’m sensing that the impulse of being is more important now than ever. Can you feel it? Can you allow your body and mind to acquiesce to it in hopes of learning some new truth? Let us breathe…and hope.

The Body of Christ

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be, blesses, blessing, body of Christ, compassion, Corpus Christi, dawn, Entering the Silence, good, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Merton

Yesterday I had one of those mornings when waking early turned into an amazing blessing of silence and recognition. I chose to leave my computer packed away and just sat looking out a giant window in New Hampshire at the mid-point of my journey to Wisdom School. (See Saturday’s post). Fortified with the coffee and an invitation to quiet from by ever-hospitable friend, Bill, I spent an hour reflecting on the feast of Corpus Christi (the Body of Christ) as it appeared to me on the calendar, in nature and in my own self as a cell in that universal body of love. Here’s what I scribbled in pencil at one point so that I would recall the experience – a great beginning to this “wisdom week.”

4:15 – First light. The birds were loud and luxurious, reminiscent of Thomas Merton’s words at dawn about God “calling them to ‘BE’ once again.” Moving in and out of sleep to listen. (corpus Christi)

6:05 – Full sun. The breeze makes dappled designs in the room where I sit watching the breeze turn to wind in the excitement of morning. A small chime somewhere outside calls out, “AWAKE!” (corpus Christi)

7:00 – No internet to record the thoughts that have been running across my mind like the ticker-tape of stocks in Times Square, NYC. Mostly song lyrics with pauses for breathing out praise. All is glorious! I am dancing even as I sit and hear inside the words of a prayer of Teresa of Avila made into song by John Michael Talbot. (corpus Christi)

All day long I hear within me: Christ has no body now but yours, no hands, no feet on earth but yours. Yours are the eyes with which he looks compassion on this world; yours are the feet with which he walks to do good. Yours are the hands with which he blesses all the world. Yours are the hands, yours are the feet, yours are the eyes, you are his body…

Corpus Christi, indeed. So on we go.