A Saint’s Life

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apostles, Gospel, Jesus, Kingdom, St. James, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Today is the feast of St. James, one of the original twelve companions called by Jesus. The “Saint of the Day” of franciscanmedia.com tells us that James was known to be less than a perfect image of what we might imagine a saint to be. One of the two brothers that wished to claim the seats on either side of Jesus in the kingdom of heaven, James and his brother, John, were often called “Sons of Thunder” by those who knew them. But personality is not what gets one a high place in the afterlife, it seems. What’s really important lies elsewhere.

The way the Gospels treat the apostles is a good reminder of what holiness is about. There is very little about their virtues as static possessions, entitling them to heavenly reward. Rather, the great emphasis is on the Kingdom, on God’s giving them the power to proclaim the Good News. As far as their personal lives are concerned, there is much about Jesus’ purifying them of narrowness, pettiness, fickleness.

The Speed of Life

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accept, apostles, Henry Van Dyke, living in love, love, surrender to life, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, time, time is eternity

I’m sitting this morning in a place of contradiction: considering the assumed slowness of time for the apostles who are waiting for “they know not what” (see yesterday’s post) and wondering how we could possibly be in the month of June this quickly. Time becomes a concept much less comprehensible than it used to be (dare I say “when I was young?”). There’s nothing I can do but watch it pass and surrender to life – whether or not I finish a day with everything crossed off my list.

As I sit in this situation and evaluate my willingness to accept it and move forward, a long-ago quote floats through my mind. Since I can remember only snippets of it, I resort to “my new best-friend,” the internet, and find even more than I expected.

Henry Van Dyke wrote: Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

My satisfaction with finding this quote is in the wonderful last clause that I don’t think I ever heard! Wonderful because it erases any frustration or concern about conquering time in the aforementioned surrender to life. Living in love is a noble goal and a great work in this moment in our beautiful but violent world. If we can add our quotient of love to the energy of the planet, we have a better chance of seeing it – and us – survive. And isn’t that reason enough to try?

Still Waiting

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apostles, Ascension, by heart, salvation history, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, upper room, waiting, words of Jesus

I’m thinking again today about that upper room that housed the apostles in their time of waiting after the Ascension, the departure of Christ from physical presence on the earth. (See blog post of 5/30.) I don’t know that I have ever considered it in such a visceral way but I have so many questions now that will only be answered in my imaginings. Where else could I go for information? There is so little specificity in most of the gospel stories that it’s difficult to get a good sense of what happened in what was only meagerly presented. I’m not interested in theological treatises for answers.

Here’s what I mean. If I consider the “upper room” as the same or similar to what was mentioned at the time of the Last Supper, I see a long table as the focal point of the room. What happens then if the apostles want to sleep during their nine days of waiting? And how did they pass the time up there? I trust that prayer was their major occupation but when did they eat? And where did they get food? Should the gospel writers be talking about upper rooms instead of one room?

This may sound like silliness and I don’t mean to be irreverent but sometimes – for some of us who are concrete thinkers – it’s helpful to know all we can about the events of our “salvation history.” As I type that sentence I hear the often repeated adage: “Just take it on faith.” In reality, I guess that is what we’re always called to do. There are lots of places to go for the research of scholars through the ages who have written theological tracts and spiritual writers who have delved into the words of Jesus. Ultimately, however, it is a question of letting go of the need for certainly about facts and giving ourselves over to the acceptance of the love that we have come to know “by heart.”

Today is a good day to take a break and place myself in the silence of that upper room for awhile, waiting with the others for the outpouring of the Spirit that will surely come when we have made ourselves ready – perhaps in a week’s time…or maybe even today! And then who will I be? What will the fire of God ignite in me? I guess I’ll wait and expect/accept whatever comes…in God’s time, not mine.

Waiting

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Acts of the Apostles, apostles, Ascension, beloved one, Holy Spirit, I am with you always, Jesus, stay, the promise of the father, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, wait

The lectionary readings on this day (Feast of the Ascension) when we consider the completion of Christ’s mission on earth are among the most familiar of the Church year. What then can be said that does not sound prosaic but rather at least interesting at such an important moment? Although the events of this day were likely earth-shattering for the apostles, of course, I wonder if the important lines that we read are not about what happened on that day but rather appear as two brief directives that move us toward what involved a preparation on the part of the apostles.

In the first reading (Act of the Apostles 1:1-11) after recounting the events of the past 40 days, Jesus “enjoined them not to depart from Jerusalem but to wait…” Then in the last reading from the gospel (Luke, 24), Jesus directed them to “stay in the city…” In both cases, they were waiting “for the promise of the Father.” How could they possibly know what was ahead for them?

Wait, he said. Stay. For most of us, waiting is not the easiest task. Nor, I would be willing to wager, was it so for these friends of Jesus who had been with him in good times and bad and now, at his departure from the earth, must have been thrown back into a place of not knowing once again. But wait they did, going back into an upper room, perhaps the best symbol of encounter in the events of all their time together.

Have you ever waited for something, not knowing exactly what you were waiting for or what the outcome of your waiting would engender? Maybe you were told Christmas would bring you a great gift this year…or, as an opposing thought, perhaps you have heard a weather report of an impending storm and are waiting for the outcome. How is it possible in either of these situations to wait with some modicum of patience?

Waiting for God to speak can also take patience. Hunkering down in stillness to hear “the still small voice of God” takes practice and perseverance. Maybe you are waiting for courage or the answer to a burning question or simply to know that God considers you a “beloved one” each and every day.

As we wait for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit once again at Pentecost, may we recall the words of Jesus who said at his departure from this world and who promises to us: “I am with you always, until the end of the world.”

St. Matthias

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Acts of the Apostles, apostles, St. Matthias, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Today is the feast of the man who replaced Judas in the company of the Apostles. I wondered this morning what it must have been like for Matthias to step into the role. Was he immediately accepted by the others? Was there jealousy from “outside the circle?” I quickly found an answer in the lectionary text for today from the Acts of the Apostles, in the only section where we ever hear about Matthias (1:15-17, 20-26). The text notes that the replacement had to be “one of the men who accompanied us the whole time the Lord Jesus came and went among us…”

That makes sense, of course, since the best candidates would have been those who walked with and served with the ones who had also listened to and learned the lessons that Jesus imparted to his closest followers. I’m seeing Matthias today as someone who was willing to be in their company just for the privilege of walking with Jesus – without any name recognition from the crowds or any reward for his service. Because he was chosen by lot “by the Holy Spirit” and for his consistent presence among them, I presume that the eleven would be comfortable with him. Hopefully any “ego” had been stripped from the group by then about rank and position. I wonder if Matthias himself was secure in his new role. Being included in the day to day decision-making and other tasks left to those in the inner circle must have necessitated a bit of an inner shift for them all. Did he need a “buddy” to make him comfortable in the day-to-day?

We often don’t think of the small things for those whose whole lives had been turned upside down more than once because of Jesus, but they were human, after all, and their life together after Jesus had to be a challenge. We might consider that on days when our service of God is a bit of a bumpy road. Recourse to the faithful, persevering Matthias might be just the thing to keep us moving forward and grateful for God’s choice of us.

The Call to Follow

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apostles, Come follow me, Jesus, Luke, Mount of Beatitudes, prompt, Sea of Galilee, St. Andrew, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Today is the feast of St. Andrew, chronicled in the gospel of Luke as one of “The Twelve” – those first named people to hear the call of Christ to follow him. When I read that text from Luke 4, I often wish for more. It’s rather difficult to think of fishermen, schooled in their trade and living what was probably a stable, familiar life, putting down their nets at that very short and rather cryptic directive (“Come, follow me!”) with a willingness to do whatever it took to respond. Wasn’t there more conversation? Didn’t they ask about where Jesus came from and where they were going? About what his “offer” meant? At least some of them had families. Were they being asked to abandon those loved ones? For what?

Today when I read the lines and had the same curiosity, I was flung back in spirit to the Mount of the Beatitudes, one of my favorite places visited on my trip to Israel in 2015. From that most beautiful, peaceful, holy hill I saw at a bit of a distance the Sea of Galilee, spread out like a welcoming blanket over the land below. There was even a boat with one or two tiny dots of what were probably fishermen occupying the small craft. How I wished to be one of those people, taken back in time to the moment when Jesus first appeared on the scene. Something stirred in me, akin perhaps to the feelings of those first responders, that made my heart say “YES” without thought of consequence or even of meaning. Holy places can have that effect sometimes. I find, however, that the response must be made on a daily basis – and sometimes even moment to moment. I suspect that Andrew and the others with him came to know that truth, but it seemed that the deal was sealed at that first encounter.

We all come to God in our own time, in our own way, with God’s own impetus or prompt. We may be born into a tradition, as I was, or have an experience that is so overwhelming as to leave us wanting more, but always – if we are to persevere – the fires have to be stoked on a regular basis.

We are here in New Hampshire with just such a purpose. It is well begun. The 18 of us, sitting in a circle last night, began a search together for a new certainty of that fire of love that will surely help us to pass on something of the spark that holds us on the path to a deepening sense of the presence of God in and among us.

The circle awaits. May God be praised by our willingness!

 

 

 

 

 

What Do You See?

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apostles, believing, faith, Jesus, mindfulness, perseverance, possibility, seeing, silence, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas, vision

While I’m not certain that the adage “Seeing is believing” came as a conclusion from the story of Thomas, the Apostle who was missing when Jesus appeared in the Upper Room on Easter evening, it certainly applies in that case. It’s difficult to believe what we have not seen with our own eyes (our physical selves) and thereby experienced as true. How is it that we come to believe what we cannot comprehend with our “ordinary minds?” Moreover, what is it that so stirs a person to envision the possibility of something that has never been done – and then to carry the process forward until that possibility becomes a reality? It seems that great inventors must not only be gifted with vision but with steadfast perseverance. And then there is the willingness of those who come after that visionary soul to continue the work. I think here of scientists and medical advancement and immediately my favorite example in a different but related sphere comes to mind. I’m fond of saying, “Kitty Hawk to the moon in 66 years” as the miracle of flight astounds me each time I feel the take-off moment from inside a plane.

As I ruminate on these examples and then circle back to Thomas, I find the two categories of vision not dissimilar. In the realm of faith there is necessity for vision, to be sure, since not all of us are gifted with direct visitations from other realms. Whether or not we are privileged to “see” with our physical eyes or come to know by inner seeing, perseverance in the practices of silence and mindfulness can open us to a deeper kind of insight that feels very much like certainty. Then it is only a question of our willingness to let go of that certainty that can allow us to fall fearless into the arms of God.

 

 

 

 

 

Trust

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apostles, challenged, disciples, honest, Jesus, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust, truth

The word “trust” keeps floating to the surface of my thoughts and experience these days. I think of how often we exercise trust in another person or group or organization without naming it or even recognizing that we are allowing it to function. We get in a car and trust that other drivers will obey the rules of the road and that we will be able to do the same. We get on a plane and trust that it will not fall out of the sky even though it is extremely heavy and is resting on nothing solid (like a road). We travel to a new city and trust others to take us to places that we could not find ourselves.

Even more elementally, we trust that people are telling us the truth if we sense that they are honest people and, when we find that we have been mistaken in our assessment, we are usually able to trust again, not giving up on the world because of one betrayal.

As we move toward the most significant days of this week where Jesus most likely trusted his disciples to be with him in all that awaited him, let us put ourselves in his position and then in the position of his companions and examine the trust quotient of each situation. Emotions may run high if we seriously ponder. Trust will be challenged. Willingness to be honest could come at a cost. Will you trust yourself?

Living Words

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apostles, creativity, discoveries, Hubble Space Telescope, human heart, inventions, Jesus, psalm 19, sister, Sister Linda Neil, CSJ, Sister Marion Honors, CSJ, St. Jude, St. Simon, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, universe, world

Illustration by Sr. Marion Honors, CSJ

Today is the feast of Sts. Simon and Jude, Apostles. The job description of these followers of Jesus was one of proclamation, telling their immediate (and sometimes far flung) world what they had learned in the company of Jesus, specifically about spreading the message of love. Psalm 19 attests to that ministry. We read this morning: Not a word nor a discourse whose voice is not heard; through all the earth their voice resounds and to the ends of the world their message.

If that were not enough to call us to celebrate the presence of God, the psalmist broadens out the reach of the message earlier in the psalm, singing: The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament proclaims his handiwork. Day pours out the word to day and night to night imparts knowledge. Last evening that glory was visible to a group of participants at the Sophia Center. Sister Linda Neil, CSJ was skillfully flashing slide after slide of images taken by the Hubble Space Telescope interspersed with the art of Sister Marion Honors, CSJ in a magnificent reflection on the place of humans in the universe. It was, as the psalmist knew so long ago, glorious!

We have, of course, been blessed many times over by the discoveries and inventions of the human mind even just in our lifetime. What was clear last night and again in my thoughts this morning is the magnificence of human creativity and the centrality of the work of the human heart. Our great artists attest to this – but so do we all in what we contribute to the growth and care of the universe, our home. Knowing that, I give thanks for my sister who celebrates her birthday today. She has been a beacon of generosity to people and to causes of justice & charity throughout her life both professionally and personally. Her care for the next generation of extended family is clear in the joy young cousins always take in her presence to them and her interest in the goings-on of their lives. So for all of the above, especially for God’s “handiwork” in the creation of my sister, I sing in gratitude and wonder.

Renewal

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apostles, awaken, disappointment, fatigue, frustration, Jesus, John, Macrina Wiederkehr, Philip, renewal, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

On days when I don’t feel especially far along on the path toward God, I often think of the apostles for comfort. They sometimes appeared rather dense – not unwilling but just not able to grasp what Jesus was saying. Of course, I also feel sympathy for Jesus who must’ve been frustrated at those moments. One of the clearest examples of such a situation appears in this morning’s gospel (JN 14:7-14) and I always feel bad for Jesus when I read it. He is speaking to Philip about the fact that anyone who knows him (Jesus) also knows the Father (God). Philip says, “Master, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” In the response of Jesus I hear not only frustration but fatigue and disappointment that he hasn’t been able to make his point about who he is and the mission he has been given. Then comes the question that I hear not only as spoken to Philip but sometimes also to me. Jesus says, “Have I been with you for so long a time and still you do not know me?”

Jesus has been with me for my whole life, in the example and prayer of my parents, in school, in religious life. I’ve read hundreds of books and participated in numerous meaningful retreats and rituals and still sometimes I feel lax or lazy in my efforts at recognizing the God that Jesus preached and manifested. His question this morning is always a goad to renewal. As usually happens, my chosen morning “word” from a source other than the Scriptures is a perfect motivator. Here is what Macrina Wiederkehr just offered to me:

O Morning Song of Love, O you in whom we live and move and have our being! We have been asleep too long. Heal the unseeing part of our lives. Lead us to our awakening places. Awaken us to new light. Open the doors of our hearts, the windows of our souls, the walls of our minds. Awaken us to hope. Awaken us to joy. Awaken us to love. Awaken us to new insights. Make our hearts ready to receive the brightness of your presence. To you we give praise.

I can imagine that Jesus is happy to have the assistance of people like Macrina in moving people to know God as he knows God and wishes to show God to us all. I know I am similarly grateful today.