Not Knowing

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agenda, centering prayer, challenges, John Newton, knowing, knowledge, let go, letting go of thoughts, psalm 139, schedule, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I was listening to a program last night on my computer about “re-writing our own life script.” During the call-in portion the speaker, John Newton, asked the caller how it would feel to live in a place of “not knowing.” What would that feel like? I found the question rather interesting because I didn’t react negatively to it! Usually my first thoughts upon waking in the morning find me running through my schedule for the day (after I am focused enough to even know what day it is!) in order to know how quickly I have to move, whether I have had enough sleep to meet the challenges of the day and how much of my incidental agenda I will be able to fit in between appointments and meetings or whatever has been previously scheduled.

As I listened to John’s question repeated and tried to answer honestly for myself, I realized that I am gradually coming to a place of willingness to let go of my agenda in order to appreciate and respond to the moment I am in rather than what has already happened or has not yet arrived. This made me happy since I have been practicing letting go of thoughts in centering prayer for over ten years!

I still ran my daily schedule tape this morning as I came awake, but I was also glad for the words of the psalmist as I read Psalm 139 which allowed me to give over the day to God. Perhaps you might do the same.

O Lord, you have probed me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I stand; you understand my thoughts from afar. My journeys and my rest you scrutinize; with all my ways you are familiar. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know the whole of it. Behind me and before, you hem me in and rest your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; too lofty for me to attain…

…and so I just give over the need of knowing everything and breathe in the conviction that God is God and I am not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whose Agenda?

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agenda, brilliance, deadlines, determination, flock, grace, hand, humanity, love, psalm 80, shepherd, strength, strong, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I have a lot to accomplish today – deadlines are everywhere – and it is so muggy out (and inside my head) I feel as if I can hardly move, never mind think! But then I read just four verses from Psalm 80 (1-3, 16) and my determination to cooperate with the grace I know exists comes flooding in. Well, it actually started as a trickle but has increased already as I write. Here are the words that are my impetus this morning for my small agenda and, as I think of it, might be a starter prayer of petition to get our country and the world back on track.

Listen, O Shepherd of humanity, leading your people like a flock, let your splendor come flashing forth and shine in beauty from the throne that rides the wings of the cherubim. Rise up, come strong among our tribes and clans, and with your overflowing love recall us back to life, O God of all, so we may see the shining brilliance of your face. Yes, that will be enough for us, for we will be restored to you again…Reach out your hand to us again and make us strong, so we may be as we once were.