Tags
advice, Barbara Brown Taylor, Esther, help, Learning to Walk in the Dark, Matthew, Psalm 138, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, weakness
Why is it that we are so hesitant to ask for help? That was a topic of conversation at our book study last night. We were considering the work of Barbara Brown Taylor, a book called Learning to Walk in the Dark, and again this morning the topic popped up in the lectionary readings: the Book of Esther, Psalm 138 and the more familiar text from MT 7 that tells us to ask, seek and knock — all in the same sentence.
It may have something to do with the “rugged individualism” of our country’s pioneering history or the overly competitive spirit that we see in sports teams from school children to professional teams. Somehow we have learned that asking for help springs from a weakness that we should fear. That is truly unfortunate, especially because there is hardly anything most of us would rather do than be of service to one another.
When is the last time you asked the advice of a friend or sought help to complete a project that was too onerous for one person? And even if you could do it yourself, why not ask for help just to forge a deeper relationship? Walking in the dark is a much more meaningful (and safe!) thing to do if you’re holding the hand of a friend. Try it. I guarantee it will lighten your load.
It is often said that “life imitates art.” This morning’s gospel reminded me in a nearly perfect analogous situation that sometimes “life imitates gospel.” We had in our yard a beautiful hibiscus tree, a memorial to my father, that was moved early in the spring of this year out of necessity. As the year progressed I was concerned to see that it produced no flowers – even no leaves – so it seemed doomed. When our handyman asked if he should cut it down I used almost the exact words of the gospel, saying: Leave it for this year. I shall cultivate the ground around it; it may flower in the future. (LK 13:8-9) I must admit that my hope was not strong but, miraculously, just last month we saw a bit of green on a couple of branches and even a few buds. Two weeks ago, during a Wisdom School at our retreat center, I asked a participant from Maine who is an expert on all things natural and agrarian to look at it. She assured me energetically that the tree would survive and even thrive next year, telling me what nourishment would help if I’d just dig around the base and add what she wrote down for me. I don’t know what happened to the poor fig tree in the gospel but I do trust that I will see the beauty of hibiscus again next year.
The Sophia Center for Spirituality 