And Then the Blazing Sun…

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apostles, blinded by the light, Jesus, light, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, transfiguration

It was 7:43 EDT this morning when I saw the outline of the sun through the trees on our back hill. I don’t know whether to call it a mountain or not. It seems very high and I don’t know what it would take to scale it—or how to get around it and where I would be if I found myself on the other side. I often think about that but go no further than my thoughts because if I asked someone and got an answer of how to get around it, the mystery would be gone and I would not know what to do without the wonder of it all. This way, the way of not knowing, was swallowed up this morning in a blaze of glory as the full sun moved into focus and became the only light. The brilliance was all I could see and the shining was all that was left. Normally I (and others) would pull a curtain to minimize the light—but I have no curtain hanging there now as I’m in the midst of shifting elements of my bedroom. (And really, why would I ever want to miss anything happening outside?) I could have moved my chair but that would call for more shifting and still the light might obscure everything.

So I just sat until the sun had moved past the perimeter of the window (knowing, of course, that it is I who was moving as the earth moves around the sun). It was a metaphor, to be sure, and I have often been “blinded” by the sun. Today, however, I sat and consciously experienced what was happening as I sat surrounded by darkness. The shimmering brilliance was all that I could see and it was difficult to stay in it—in the way we are told not to look directly at the sun without special glasses during an eclipse. I thought about all the places in Scripture that speak of apparitions: the Transfiguration of Christ on the mountain, for example, where Peter, James and John were blinded by the light and when they looked up, they saw “only Jesus.” Can I say I am changed by this experience of light? Will I remember how nothing else was visible but darkness in the presence of that light? Who can say what awaits…maybe if I ask about or try to scale the mountain. What might I learn to see then?

A Nice Quiet Dinner…

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compassion, Jesus, Judas, Lazarus, Martha, Mary, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Knowing what we do about this week in the story of Jesus, I was happy to see the gospel for today that began this way:

Six days before Passover Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. They gave a dinner for him there, and Martha served, while Lazarus was one of those reclining at table with him…(Jn 12:1-11)

I’m always glad to be reminded of the fact that Jesus had a family that extended to some of his closest friends and that—as in “normal” days in our lives—Jesus had celebratory meals with those people and got a chance once in awhile to “put his feet up” and relax. This scenario was enhanced with Mary’s desire to make Jesus more comfortable by anointing his feet with an expensive oil, adding a lovely fragrance to the house and a restful ambiance to the gathering. It was, I think, a telling “moment” about relationship for Jesus. Unfortunately, the feeling was shattered by the shift caused by Judas, complaining about the cost of the oil. Thus did the lovely moment pass and we are thrown back into the scene that is unfolding as a precursor to what is to come.

I choose today, however, to pause and consider this scene. It’s mostly conjecture, as we don’t have much to go on except Mary’s willingness to give such a generous gift to the Master. But who were the other people, named or not, whom we believe to have been in attendance at this meal. We know, at least, Jesus, Judas, Mary, Martha, Lazarus. Clearly we are familiar with all those people to whom we have already assigned roles: Judas holds the role of money-changer and is what we might call “a skinflint.” (There is clear evidence from the text that he is seen as “a thief.”) Martha is, as usual, in charge of the kitchen and Mary takes care of Jesus, making him as comfortable as possible. There are perhaps other friends as well, since it seems as if they are always together. And then there’s Jesus who speaks on Mary’s behalf with a striking statement after Judas complains about the money spent on the oil. Jesus says, “Leave her alone. Let her keep this for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you but you do not always have me.” (Undoubtedly a foreshadowing of what is to come.)

I suggest creating the scene: the people, their placement in the room, their movements (mostly those of Martha, the always-busy one), the interactions of Mary and Jesus…Whose feelings can you imagine? The frustration of Judas and, perhaps, of Jesus…the compassion and tenderness of Mary…the surprise of everyone at the words of Jesus….

See what happens if you begin with some silence and then recreate the scene. Do you learn anything new about anyone? Can you put yourself in the scene? How does that change things—for you or the others gathered there? There are only days before the trial and crucifixion of Jesus. Can you feel the tension building?

Holy Silence

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Holy Week, humility, Peace, silence, simplicity of love, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Merton, Thomas Merton: A Book of Hours

As we move into this week that we call “Holy” I have no words of my own so I search Thomas Merton’s Book of Hours for a message leading to silence. I feel that is the way to go in this week as much as possible, giving God the chance to speak. Here is Merton’s prayer:

Keep me, above all things, from sin. But give me the strength that waits upon You in silence and peace. Give me humility in which alone is rest, and deliver me from pride which is the heaviest of burdens. And possess my whole heart in the simplicity of love. Occupy my whole life with the one thought and the one desire of love, that I may love for You alone. (p. 55)

On the Cusp of Holy Week

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A Deep Breath of Life, accept, Alan Cohen, flow, Holy Week, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Some time ago I wrote about an approach to Lent that suggested letting go of “do’s and don’ts” in a manner of speaking, and rather focusing on life in the present moment. This morning I read a page in the book, A Deep Breath of Life, that offers a similar—if not matching—message. Maybe it is just the one we need as we prepare to enter Holy Week tomorrow.

It’s a story about monkeys and nuts, and, of course, people trying an experiment. The important item was the container for the nuts—a glass jar with a rim smaller than the base, making the monkeys unable to get to the nuts, if and until they were smart enough to tip the jar on its side instead of struggling to fit their hand into the jar. Jungle lore called that “making use of ease rather than force.”

The lesson offered by the author is stated as follows: “If you are trying to clutch onto something that won’t fit into your life naturally, that’s when you get caught. Accept what shows up, and you are free. Take advantage of the tide of events, and life will support you in ways that you could not manipulate through serious struggle. Build on what is rather than what isn’t and you will be one with life.” (Alan Cohen)

Rather than adding tasks to this coming week to earn the favor of God, why not just notice what comes into view in your life and respond to opportunities to “flow” in ways that you may not have done before. Cohen’s brief concluding prayer says this: Show me how to live. Help me move with energy that I may be free and happy. (I think God would be happy with that as well…)

A Prayer on the Day of Battle

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climate change, consciousness, nature, saving the planet, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

There have been reports of tornadoes in the Southeastern states overnight and even in Buffalo, NY—near the Great Lakes—the danger is real from wind and rain. Psalm 18 cries out: It is you I call, my God, in this dark hour…The roaring waves of death surrounded me, destroying floods overwhelmed my soul. In trouble and in fear I call out to you.

This is a very long psalm (51 verses) and intertwines our inner struggles with the elements of nature. “I love you, O God, my strength, my rock, my fortress, my deliverer!” The clouds are racing across the sky outside and the sun plays hide-and-seek with the blaring wind: in and out, in and out. It mimics the fear that makes us hide in cellars or in our bathtubs when the wind comes up in gusts (up to 60 mph today). The trees have now joined the fray shaking their heads as if saying “No, no…calm down! You need to pay attention to the storms inside you.” I stop to get in touch with that warning.

Last week I watched a podcast with Al Gore and John Kerry discussing climate issues. I was amazed at their vast knowledge and understanding of the issues and embarrassed at my ignorance of the same. I wonder if we are past the point of saving the world as I remember the commercial from years ago with a picture of a Native American warrior standing on the bank of a polluted stream. On his cheek was a single tear. I don’t even remember the words on the screen but I will never forget that face.

All these disparate images call me to consciousness and to a self-inquiry…I purport to love nature in all her beauty and wildness and to desire her safety from destruction, but right now I am asking myself (as the trees outside still shake their heads at me): What exactly are you willing to do—really—to assist in saving the planet? Can you honestly say, “I love you, O God, my strength, my rock, my fortress, my deliverer?”

God-Bearer

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accept, Anunciation, Mary Mother of God, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Merton: A Book of Hours

Today is the feast of the Annunciation, the day when we celebrate God’s choice of Mary to be the mother of Jesus. Difficult to understand on a human level, even Mary questioned God about the possibility. “How can this be?” she asked the angel sent to let her know what was to be her work in the the world. I can imagine a more distressing reaction, something in the neighborhood of:

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!! I’M A VIRGIN, FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!!!”

Of course, the Scriptures paint a different picture. Mary was steeped in love for God and willing to do whatever she was called to do for God. It’s difficult to know how she felt on that day – and perhaps the days that followed. We have only one clue about those days following this pronouncement. Mary left her home and traveled into the hill country to the house of her kinswoman, Elizabeth, who was an older relative with whom she could share this news, try to understand what God was doing and find the support that she needed to agree to God’s plan.

There is a prayer in Thomas Merton’s Book of Hours, taken from his Asian Journal, p. 318-19, that I like to think might have been Mary’s “acceptance speech” when she came to terms with God’s choice of her as Mother of the Christ. Listen, and consider what she was agreeing to as her life’s work.

Oh, God, in accepting one another wholeheartedly, fully, completely, we accept You, and we thank You, and we adore You, and we love You with our whole being, because our being is in Your being, our spirit is rooted in Your spirit. Fill us then with love as we go our diverse ways, united in this one spirit which makes You present in the world, and which makes You witness to the ultimate reality that is love. Love has overcome. Love is victorious. Amen.

Searching for the Truth

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John, love, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, truth, truth will set us free

I was just reading an article from the news about the absolute blockage in the Senate. I feel it’s my duty to keep up at least a little with the governance in my country. Today it is as if there is absolutely no “give” as the 50/50 split seems impossible to overcome. Then I look down at today’s readings and see that John’s gospel sets a very high standard for decision-making. Jesus says, “if you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

How does a person find “the truth” today? Life is so complicated and there are so many voices giving so many messages. What about this one: “Love and do what you will.” That certainly presupposes good faith on all sides. But can we trust that everyone is acting out of that kind of mindset? How do you decide? So many questions…Where does your answer lie?

Compassion Anyone?

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Becoming Wise, compassion, Krista Tippett, love, Meister Eckhart, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Some days now I can hardly see what to write that is anywhere near relevant to the world, our country, faith or this time of our life. Today I picked up the book that my book group is reading because we meet tomorrow. The book is Becoming Wise by Krista Tippett—not the easiest book to read or to use as a guide, but a really great read! I pulled the scrap of paper that is doubling as a bookmark and found out why it has avoided the trash for so long. I don’t know where it came from or who wrote it but the words written there are surely worth our notice—and our reflection. Take it slowly and savor the message.

Title: Compassion is the expression of love

Love is the inner feeling and compassion is its expression. It doesn’t see the faults of others. It doesn’t see the weaknesses of people. It makes no distinction between good and bad people. Compassion cannot draw a line between two countries, two faiths or two religions. Compassion has no ego; thus there is no fear, lust or passion. Compassion simply forgets and forgives. Compassion is like a passage. Everything passes through it, nothing can stay there. Compassion is love expressed in all its fullness.

That quote puts me in mind of a saying of Meister Eckhart that has hung in my bedroom for years and today seems a fitting conclusion to this reflection. It says: “Whatever God does, the first outburst is always compassion.”

One Step Closer

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follow Jesus, Holy Week, Lent, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, trust

When we get this close to Holy Week I generally regret that I have not been more diligent in my Lenten practice. This year there is no regret—only longing for a clearer sense of what is truly necessary for a readiness to recognize God’s gifts in the everyday. Whether I am reading the”regular readings” or those chosen especially for parishes celebrating “the scrutinies” there are verses that always pull at my heartstrings — not with guilt but only desire. Listen to my favorite ones:

>I will place my law within them and write it upon their hearts; I will be their God and they shall be my people.

>A clean heart create for me, O God, and a steadfast spirit renew within me. Cast me not out from your presence and your Holy Spirit take not from me.

>Whoever serves me must follow me, says the Lord; and where I am, there also will my servant be.

>I trust in the Lord; my soul trusts in his word. More than sentinels wait for the dawn, let Israel wait for the Lord. For with the Lord there is kindness and with him is plenteous redemption.

With the sun this morning I can see the heavy frost on the trees across the river but I have confidence that, by noon, all of that frost will be dissipated and the hills will have taken on a different clarity, that which comes from the sun. I, too, will shine if I renew my trust in the Lord and choose to receive the warmth of God’s love suffusing everything around and within me. (I trust in the Lord; my soul trusts in his word.)

Welcome to Spring!

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spring, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

On a day in a year in which we most need a respite from bad news and bad weather, it seems we are gifted with the beginning of a lovely spring. Here is a little (and I do mean little) poem to welcome spring. It made me smile because it could so easily be what happens to me on spring days when the sun is blaring all around at 8:00 in the morning like today and the birds are singing their hearts out! Enjoy!

I meant to do my work today
But a brown bird sang in the apple tree
And a butterfly flitted
across the field
And all the leaves were calling me. (Richard Le Gallienne)