Today feels like a turning toward necessity. How to describe that, I’m really not certain. The meaning feels just below or above the the surface of things so rather than trust my own words, I turn to Thomas Merton because his prose often pushes me deeper or higher. In the “Friday, Day” section of A Book of Hours I find the following:
Wrestling quietly with the circumstances of my life. There is an attitude to be taken, there are decisions to be made. There is a radical refusal demanded of me somewhere and I do not know where it begins and ends and how to approach it.
God makes us ask ourselves questions most often when He intends to resolve them. He gives us needs that He alone can satisfy and awakens capacities that He means to fulfill. Any perplexity is liable to be a spiritual gestation, leading to a new birth and mystical generation.
(Thomas Merton: A Book of Hours. Kathleen Deignan, p.171-172)