Honest Reflection

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authentic, laugh at yourself, psalm 26, put to the test, self image, the real me, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

The psalmist is rather brave this morning in asking God to “search me, O Lord, and try me; test my soul and my heart.” (PS 26:2) Other translations say, “Put me to the test, O Lord. Examine the inner contents of my soul” and “May my heart be as your heart; may my mind be as your mind.” Each of these calls us to radical honesty in assessing how we are living and reminds me how difficult it is to “tell the truth, the whole truth…” when others might disagree or when I know I have not lived up to my potential. The most comfortable people I know are those who can laugh at themselves and accept their shortcomings while exuding love to all they encounter. If we need to protect our self-image and only show our bright, competent side to the world, others have little chance to come to care for the “real me” and the loss is mine. If, on the other hand, we can stand before God just as we are and know that God knows everything about us and loves us for all of it, we can take that confidence with us into relationships with other people. Then it becomes easier to be authentic and less important to be perfect. What a lovely world that would create!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An Unlikely Pair

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bring your own gifts, coat of many colors, feast day, fidelity, Jesus, martyr, Paul, Peter, Pope Francis, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Word of God

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Today is the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul, clearly the most well-known and important figures of the early days of Christianity. They prove the truth of the adage, “Variety is the spice of life” however. As we recall, Peter was chosen by Jesus as the leader of his motley band of followers. He was the only one that had an answer when Jesus asked, “Who do you say that I am?” Good answer: “You are the Christ, Son of God,” put him at the head of the class, but his missteps were many along the way. One commentary suggests that he could have used a public relations director. He said and did lots of things along the way that directly contradicted previous statements and actions, e.g. the opposite of the above-mentioned proclamation when he said “I do not know the man,” in fear during the trial of Jesus. But Jesus never lost faith in Peter; he chose and supported him because he loved him and was faithful to that love and in the end, Peter grew into his best self, giving everything including his life in the manner of Christ.

Paul was also transformed by the love of Christ. Unlike Peter, however, Paul never met Jesus in the flesh but came to know him “in a flash of light” and was forever changed. Also unlike Peter, once Paul had been converted to Christ, he never wavered; he was tireless in his preaching and traveled the known world as a missionary to the growing communities of those who were coming to believe in this new “Word of God.” Christ clearly loved Paul too, making a way for him in all trials during his ministry until Paul himself declared, “I have run the race; I have kept the faith…” and he too was martyred for the cause of Christ.

I read a quote this morning from a general audience of Pope Francis that speaks to me about these two great men. It said in part, “the Church is like a great orchestra in which there is great variety. We are not all the same, and we do not have to be all the same. We are all different, varied, and each of us brings our own special qualities. This is the beauty of the Church: everyone brings their own gifts which God has given for the sake of enriching others.”

All of this says to me that fidelity is like a coat of many colors fitting us how and when we are ready. God is totally in love with each of us and all of us and waits for us to grow into the person we already are in God’s eyes. Peter came to know that, Paul knew that, just as Pope Francis knows it and asks us to consider it as well. This is my prayer for today.

Good Vibrations

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arise, body awareness, energy, Finger Lakes, healing, Jesus, Mark, ocean, power, Sea of Galilee, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, water

There’s something engaging about bodies of water. Vacations during my childhood were spent at the beach by the Atlantic Ocean – the most delightful week of the year. As an adult living in upstate New York, I have come to appreciate lakes; it took awhile for someone used to the expanse of the ocean with the smell, taste and buoyancy of salt. Now I cherish the loveliness and calm of “the Finger Lakes” so named because from the sky they actually look like fingers of a human hand. The energies are different: the ocean majestic, inspiring awe, and the lakes a call to reflection and peace.

When Jesus made one of his many (it seems) crossings of the Sea of Galilee and encountered a crowd on the other side, Mark says he stayed close to the sea. I had never noticed that line before and it made me think he was drawing energy from the water. Maybe he was just assuring a quick exit in case the crowd got too close or if he said something that was too inflammatory, but I’d rather think he was preparing for the two healings that frame the rest of the reading (MK 5:21-43). Both of these incidents lead to considerations of physical well-being. After he healed the daughter of Jairus with a touch of her hand and a word (Talitha koum = Little girl, arise) he told the family to give her something to eat, something that would restore her body to wellness. The other healing – of the woman with the 12-year hemorrhaging distress – was felt both in her body and by Jesus as she touched his cloak. He knew that “power had gone out from him” while she “felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction.” That energy exchange could have been a private moment between the two of them but Jesus wanted to make the point that her faith was part of the equation as well as his touch. Nevertheless, this entire text reminds me that body awareness is a necessary third to mind and spirit. My body can give me messages that alert me to danger, to excessive fatigue, to impending joy with the appearance of a loved one…Awareness of my breath can calm anxiety, allow me to climb a flight of stairs or move to deep meditation…

Today I will give thanks for my body, with all its gifts and limitations, as well as for the energy that fuels it and allows me to welcome energy coming my way for good.

Keeping Promises

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Abraham, asking, big picture, centurion, eternal love, faith, Genesis, God's presence, God's time, healing, Jesus, Matthew, miracle, prayer, promises, Sarah, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

We often hear the adage, “Be careful what you ask for.” Sometimes our desires are fulfilled in ways that are surprising and sometimes – especially if it is from God that we are asking – we can’t possibly see how the answer fits the question because we are not privy to all the workings of the universe. In those times, we need to trust.

Today’s readings give two examples of God’s promises being fulfilled. Earlier in the Book of Genesis God had promised that Abraham would have descendants as numerous as the sands of the seashore. As he and Sarah got older it seemed impossible that this would happen since she had not been able to bear children. In order to take matters into their own hands, Sarah told Abraham to have sexual relations with her servant in order to have an heir. When she did and had a son, Sarah wasn’t so happy about it. Today (GEN 18:1-15) we hear the prediction of God’s messengers that Sarah and Abraham would have a son within the year. Abraham was 99 years old at the time and Sarah long past childbearing age. So her response to this news was a burst of incredulous laughter but a year later, she had the promised son. A miracle indeed, if late in coming. We can only wonder how that fulfillment affected her faith in God.

In the gospel today (MT 8:5-17) Jesus encountered the centurion whose servant was deathly ill; he asked Jesus to heal the man. Jesus was ready to follow him to his house when the centurion said he did not need to do so. He was aware that the power of Jesus was so great that he would simply need to speak a word and the healing would take place. Jesus was quite impressed with the man’s faith and the request was granted immediately.

When I pray these days I try to leave the decision-making to God regarding the result of the prayer, saying things like, “God, please be kind to this person” or “God, please take care of this situation.” I don’t think it’s effective to muzzle God into a specific outcome because, as I’ve already said, I don’t see the “big picture” and can only speak from my own perspective. I think my job in prayer is to let God know of my concern for what is going on, to speak my desire for God’s presence in the situation and then let God take care of the rest. When it seems to me that God isn’t acting, (or really that God isn’t acting as I would if I were God) I try to think about Sarah and remember that God’s time is not my time and God’s eternal love is incomprehensible.

Coming to Fruition

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blessings, center of the heart, flourish, garden, growing, hidden blessings, nature, path of God, Peace, psalm 128, retreat, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

Yesterday was a perfect day for outside work – sunny and cloudy at intervals, not too hot but warm enough…a day to marvel at the changing faces in the flower gardens (e.g. from irises to lilies) and to be grateful. I was amazed as I rode along mowing how much the grass is still growing in a week’s time. Usually by this late in June it has slowed down a bit. Local vegetables are appearing in the markets and the corn continues to out-distance all expectations and looks like we will be seeing tassels soon. I think of the people who will come to our retreat center this weekend and those who joined us last weekend in New Hampshire and I know that the growing energy is an “inside job” as well. Psalm 128 is a great reminder of all these blessings and a fitting prayer of praise this morning, I believe. I have read three translations. Here is my favorite:

Blessed are you who walk upon the paths of God. Your life is filled with hidden blessings which overflow from your hands, the gift of many labors. And blessings like fruit-bearing trees and vines spring forth and flourish from the garden of your house; your spouse and children are its yield. And all who honor God upon this path shall know a cornucopia of good. For it is God, the center of the heart, who prospers life until its end. So you who hear and pray this prayer, come close and live within the circle of God’s care. And may God’s special peace be yours, one generation to another.

 

A Merton Moment

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brambles, cover more ground, Entering the Silence, Good Shepherd, stay found, take less time, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Thomas Merton, thorns

I opened my copy of Thomas Merton: A Book of Hours this morning and read two things that made me smile. One was the heading for the second hour of the day. Take more time, cover less ground, it said. I will try to keep that in mind as I look at the list of tasks that I made last night…The second was a prayer from the book Entering the Silence that is a humble reminder with great images. I may have quoted it before but it bears repeating, I think.

Good Shepherd, You have a wild and crazy sheep in love with thorns and brambles. But please don’t get tired of looking for me! I know You won’t. You have found me. All I have to do is stay found.

What’s in a Name?

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Elizabeth, forerunner, Isaiah, John the Baptist, Luke, message, name, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, Zachariah

I’ve heard there was talk when I was born that my mother wanted to name me Valerie. As I went through my early years fielding questions like, “Hey, Lois, where’s Superman?” I might have wished my mother’s choice had prevailed. I was, however, the only Lois I knew – not like some of the girls who shared their names with five or six other girls in my class at school. Whether I liked it or not, my name was Lois.

Today the Scripture readings celebrate John the Baptist, the “forerunner” of Jesus, the one who announced him to the world. The prophet Isaiah could have been speaking of John when he wrote, “The Lord called me from birth; from my mother’s womb he gave me my name. ‘You are my servant,’ he said to me.” (IS 49:1-6) You may remember that when John was actually born there was some dissension about what his name should be. Zachariah had been struck dumb when he was told his wife, Elizabeth, was pregnant since she was so old; he was to remain so until the baby was born. That message culminated in the instruction that the baby was to be called John. (Everyone thought he should be named after his father.) I can imagine Zachariah gesticulating wildly for something to write with to have his say. When someone got him a tablet, he simply wrote: “His name is John.” (LK: 1:57 ff)

Names are important. When someone I love says my name, it sounds different from the address of others. Children can tell when they’re in trouble for something by the way their parents call out their names. Some of us have secret names from childhood, shared only with imaginary friends. I remember in a conversation once being asked, “What is the name by which God calls you?” – surprising then, but something to ponder. I am grateful that now, as I have come to know myself, loving all of my life as a gift from God, I can respond wholeheartedly, “My name is Lois.”

The Narrow Gate

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attention, choices, courageous actions, deep love, Do to others whatever you would have them do to you, Jesus, limits, Matthew, the narrow gate, The Sophia Center for Spirituality, travel

When I’m packing up for a trip, if I’m driving rather than going by plane, I often have several extraneous items in addition to a suitcase. It becomes sort of a game to see if I can carry everything to the car at once rather than making numerous trips. There have been occasions where maneuvering the suitcase as well as bags slung over my wrists and keys in my hand cause me to go sideways through the door of the house. Sometimes I have to admit defeat and leave something behind to retrieve when I have opened the car doors and come back for more. I thought of this today when I read the never-ending, amazing sermon that continues to deliver one-liners that are not to be ignored. This one is actually two verses long (MT 7:12-14) but worth consideration nonetheless. Jesus says, “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few.”

We have lots of choices in life. Sometimes I wish there were fewer – or even just one – so it would be easier to know what to do. I think of the two possibilities of travel to Hallelujah Farm in New Hampshire where some of our Wisdom Schools are held. While the New York State Thruway, the Massachusetts Turnpike and Interstate Route 91 is a speedier and wider route to take than Routes 7 & 9 through Vermont, I always choose the latter if I’m driving. Less traffic and more beauty are the criteria that I choose – even though if I get behind a truck on the two-lane road it necessitates patience. Limits call for attention – in travel and in life. Narrow roads, courageous actions, deep love…all take us out of monotony and the ordinary in our days, slowing us down to more mindful opportunities for response.

Oh, and the other line this morning is just one line, pertinent here for sure: Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. (MT 7:6) Safe travels, everyone.

Something in Your Eye?

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awareness, clarity of vision, finding fault, honesty, Jesus, judging others, Matthew, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

I’m amazed on the rare occasions when I get something in my eye that feels very big to find out that it’s a little speck of dirt or something similar in size. Thus, when Jesus says, “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?” (MT:7:1-5), I can only say “OUCH!” His point is well made about our willingness to judge the small faults of others while totally ignoring our own glaring ones. Clarity of vision is a function of inner seeing as much as a physical function. It takes honesty and awareness to see the truth of both our gifts and our faults and to admit imperfection when we find it in ourselves. And it takes just as much effort to refrain from finding fault with others – but a worthy effort indeed.

Stormy Weather

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calm the wind, faith, Israel, Jesus, Mark, Mount of the Beatitudes, psalm 107, Sea of Galilee, storms, The Sophia Center for Spirituality

One of my favorite memories of our February trip to Israel is our visit to the Mount of the Beatitudes. Looking out from that peaceful place down to the Sea of Galilee, I was reminded of many gospel stories of fishermen and their encounters with Jesus. At one moment I saw (and actually have a picture to prove it!) two boats in the distance, probably plying the same trade as in the days of Jesus. I thought then of the storm at sea, recounted in all the synoptic gospels – today in MK 4:35-41 – when Jesus showed his power in calming the wind. His challenge to the disciples that day after he had stilled the waters echoes down through history to us. “Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?”

Each time I’m sitting by water, whether a quiet lake or a vast ocean, I think of the quote that I saw attached to a picture like the one I snapped in Israel. I saved it and learned this morning that it’s from Psalm 107: “He hushed the storm to a gentle breeze…and brought them to their desired haven.” That always reminds me that no matter the “storms” in my life I need only breathe into the conviction that God is with me and will see me through to the end.