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saintthomasToday is the feast of St. Thomas the Apostle. He’s the one with the bad reputation, the one reported to have refused to believe in the Resurrection of Jesus because he wasn’t present when Jesus walked (literally) through the door that first time when all the others were gathered. He needed more. He said he wouldn’t believe unless he saw and touched the wounds of Jesus. We shouldn’t be so quick to judge Thomas though. After all, the whole thing was pretty astonishing and he was the only one not there. If I were in their company, still thinking that Jesus was a totally human “messiah” (anointed one) whose mission was to restore the throne of David (literally), the concept of resurrection would have been foreign enough to make me demand a little proof, I think. The others were terrified when he arrived that night so why do we think that any of them, having missed the visit, wouldn’t have needed more in order to believe that Jesus was, in fact, alive?

The last line of today’s gospel passage (JN 20:29) is for us. It says, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.” That’s us he’s talking about. To be fair, however, it’s a little easier to hold a belief that almost two billion people worldwide support than it would have been for those alive in the time of Jesus. Sometimes I’m content with my situation but there are moments when everything in me would like to be back walking those roads with him, able to reach out and touch him, listen to him, feel the energy of God jumping from him to me. The best I can do every morning is to quiet myself and will to be in his presence, knowing that the possibility of his touch at the core of my being is always there. If only I can be that present myself…